Title: Peace
Fandom: The Big C
Rating: G
Length: 684
Author notes: Also written for Challenge #04: The Table of Doom!!! (Phase 3) @ writerverse. Also, I hate writing second person point of view.
Warning: Spoilers up to and including the end of the recent season.
Summary: Cathy finally feels peace after a long time.




You wake up to the sound of silence in your head. When you blink rapidly and move your head slightly to the left, you can see the light streaming through the window. You sit there for a little while, in silence, in peace, as you watch the tiny flakes in the bright light that travels through the shade. You watch as the half-closed shades bump lightly against the window pane as the breeze lightly pushes it forward before pulling it back. It’s tranquil, you think, to watch such easy movements.

You remember what it was like waking up in your own life to the sound of hustle and bustle in the kitchen, of yelling and arguments over the bathroom schedule and you think that this is nice, this silence, so you smile as you wake up for a brand new day.

The bed you sleep in is simple. It doesn’t have a high thread count or fluffy pillows. It’s a simple cot that gives you back pain unless you sleep the right way. Still, you sit up happily, stretch and smile. Then you step towards the window—the only window—in your small room and open the blinds. The sun hits you with its welcoming warmth and again you think, welcome to your new life.

The walk to the market is a long one. You practically skip in your slippers as you shove your hands in your short pockets. You smile at the passing locals, because you find it amusing the way they stare at the white skinned foreigner with blonde hair who looks like she has no care in the world. If they only knew, you think. If they only knew the burden you carry on your shoulders, the burden you want to leave behind you on the wide open sea.

It’s a new day, you think once again. This is your mantra. Your motto. Your spice of life. It does not matter what life you had before because now you’re living on a tropical island with the sun in your hair and a breeze that tingles your skin. It’s welcoming. It’s wonderful. But it’s not home; not yet.

You stop by for a fruit. You don’t know the language that well yet. So you laugh through as you gesture and smile and point, and you watch as the confusion turns to understanding as the vendor finally takes your coins to give you a large slice of watermelon. The taste is sweet as you bite into the juices. And you laugh when you realise that it finally feels like a holiday.

You finish your watermelon slice and throw the peel when you finally come to the beach. You take off your slippers before you dig your toes into the sand. There’s a man selling helium-filled balloons close by and your eye immediately catches the red. You go to him, and with a few more improved gestures, complete the transaction. It is then that you shrug out of your clothes, revealing the one piece bathing suit underneath. It’s a hassle, and a fun one at that, to remove your clothes while you’re holding onto four balloons. But you succeed, as in almost everything in your life, and you slowly step into the ocean.

The water is cool and yet you wade deeper and deeper before you kick up your heels and let yourself lie back on the floating waves. You watch the balloons as they dance lightly for the wind and you remember the people left behind.

For Paul…

You let one go.

For Andrea…

You let another go.

For Sean…

Another balloon is let go.

You pause on the fourth, memories of a happier time filling you up as you remember your one and only child.

For Adam…

It’s harder to let the last balloon go, but you do it. You watch them all float away and you smile to yourself. Maybe cancer would be the thing that kills you and maybe surviving it is not in your cards, but it doesn’t matter because even if you die tomorrow, you will die happy.