All Jackson West has ever wanted is to be a cop, to follow in his father’s footsteps. He pushed himself harder than anyone throughout training, graduating top of his class; now here he is, a rookie cop, doing what he’s always dreamed of doing, only… for the first time, he’s not sure he can do this.

He’s been fine right up to this point, dealing with whatever the job has thrown at him, but this is the first time he’s come under fire, and he can’t think. Bullets are flying everywhere, Officer Bradford is down, and Jackson’s finally registering that it could just as easily be him, lying there, injured and bleeding, possibly dying. That’s the reality of being a cop: his career, his life, could be over in an instant, before he even knows what’s happening, and he doesn’t want to die.

He’s drenched in a cold sweat, his heart’s pounding a mile a minute, and he’s never been so scared in his life, not even when his dad took him to the morgue to see a dead body. That had been scary, and oddly fascinating; this just fills him with mind-numbing terror.

He knows he should return fire, just as Nolan and Lucy are, but he can’t seem to make himself move. He’s like a car stuck in mud, engine endlessly revving, but going nowhere. Throughout training he excelled at everything, was so full of confidence, sure there was nothing he couldn’t handle, but the one time it really matters, he freezes up…

When it’s all over, his training officer somehow covers for the fact that he didn’t fire a single round. He’s gotten away with it this time, and that’s more than he deserves, but all Jackson can think is, what if it happens again? What if, the next time he comes under fire, because almost inevitably there WILL be a next time, what if he freezes again, what if someone dies because of him, what if it’s decided that he’s simply not cut out for a career on the force?

It's a chilling thought, one that’s never occurred to him before, but it could bring all his dreams crashing down around him. He has no backup plan, no alternate career choice in the event that he doesn’t make the grade; that possibility has never crossed his mind, and yet… What if he can’t get past this?


The End