Title: An Outline
Author: Wallwalker
Fandom: Crossover, Final Fantasy XIV/Shadowrun 4th Edition
Rating: T
Length: 1455
Content notes: Implied serious injury, body horror.
Author notes: A crossover idea I've played with a few times, using Shadowrun concepts and FFXIV nations/characters/etc. Another attempt: here. This would be somewhere after that post.
Summary: Estinien had never worried about the inner workings of the matrix, until it had somehow become very relevant to his personal life after the Crash.

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Estinien had never understood the matrix. Nor had he ever cared to before.

Some people said it was the negative space around the world, generated by the flow of data, and that people were only capable of seeing it since the advent of computer networks; others said that was ridiculous, that it was just something people had created and didn't exist outside of machines. There were all manner of theories, but no one thought they'd get any proof; it was all just argument for the sake of argument, and Estinien wasn't the sort who enjoyed such debate.

Still, had he been asked, he would've thrown in his lot with the second camp. The matrix had only ever been a tool for him; he hadn't really thought of it in metaphysical terms. It wasn't like he could see it unless he had the visor switched over. But now...

Haurchefant was standing next to him on the balcony, the two of them under the stars - or at least a good approximation of them, since the lights of Ul'dah were too bright at night to let the real thing show. The reddish cast of his hair and features was brighter than usual, no doubt responding to his frustration. It wasn't easy to enjoy the view out there while one of Estinien's closest companions was staring back into the room and trying not to look visibly upset.

He was staring back at himself. More precisely, at his body, resting in its bed, elaborate equipment shining above him. A respirator to keep him breathing, heart monitors and electrodes, blood probes to check his body chemistry and see if he needed any more medication... the list went on, and Estinien knew well enough what to do if it broke down, but didn't often think on the details. He just knew that whatever the Crash had done to his body had damn near killed him. Next to him, Aymeric was resting in his own bed, close enough to rest his fingers against Haurchefant's free hand.

"You know he's only worried about you," Estinien said after a moment, turning to look at his friend.

"I know." Haurchefant turned to look at him, a mere outline in red light, but Estinien could still see that he was trying to smile. He thought of switching the visor over, for a moment, wondered what he would look like in this new wireless matrix. But it didn't seem necessary. He'd swapped over the aural systems as soon as he'd seen him coming, though; hearing his voice through dragons' ears was overwhelming, at the best. "I wish he would worry a bit less."

"That has never been his way." Estinien stretched, felt the familiar pull against his skin, the grafts and scars. They said the biowear would be easier on his body than anything artificial, but he doubted it; dragons might be alive, but that seemed the only similarity between the two species.

"True enough," Haurchefant admitted softly, the glow diminishing. He was starting to relax, thank goodness; that light was giving Estinien a bloody headache.

Estinien was the only person who could see Haurchefant's presence in the new matrix without using an implant or visor to feed him network data. He'd realized it early on, when they'd been discussing whether or not he would recover - he'd seen the reddish glow out of the corner of his implanted eyes, had managed to follow it until his companion's features had resolved in those fiery lines. It had been as much of a shock to Estinien as it had been to Haurchefant himself.

The most recent Crash had been hard on Ishgard. It was the first time they'd been truly affected by such a thing; they'd managed to separate their own network quite thoroughly from the rest of the world's when the first had happened. The heretics hadn't allowed them that luxury this time, he'd thought grimly. If Haurchefant hadn't known about that old killswitch, hadn't stayed plugged in too long to get away so that he could pull the rest of them out... Fury save them all, Estinien couldn't even imagine it. He had made himself a hero that day; no one had ever mocked the circumstances of his conception again, at least not aloud.

They'd thought Haurchefant was braindead for months. His father had been speaking of allowing him to rest, when they'd started detecting brain activity again. That had been Haurchefant's own fault, he had admitted to Estinien with a lopsided grin. He had been away, although he couldn't precisely explain what he'd meant, or what he had been doing. Some sort of vision of a library, he'd said, and other people there... although he didn't know yet if the people he'd met were real, or somehow connected to him. He had resolved to find these people, and Estinien intended to assist, if he could... although all they had were a handful of names, and descriptions that he didn't even know were accurate.

It had to have something to do with his new eyes, Estinen reasoned. He wore his visor constantly now, even in sleep; his new eyes glowed constantly, a dark and smouldering red, just enough to bother anyone who shared a room with him. He wondered if they glowed even when he closed his eyes now; they were almost unbearably warm in his own skull. Still, why they might have been able to see such things, he couldn't know. These new implants were bleeding-edge, the généticiens had said, and Estinien was still the first patient who had taken to the cultured draconic implants well enough to produce any sort of meaningful data.

Of course, none of that explained Haurchefant's apparent ability to interface with this new unwired system with no outside assistance. Aymeric and Estinien used the new system, the commlink that Estinien had interfaced with his visor, and that Aymeric had been implanted with in the same general area where his former MMI for the old matrix had been. Haurchefant pretended to use the same, but Estinien knew better; he'd first seen him when he was still believed to be in a coma by the rest of Ishgard. He had been able to navigate there before he'd returned to consciousness, before he'd ever had a commlink placed in his hand.

"Try not to think of him too harshly," Estinien said after a moment, voice gentling somewhat. "You were very proud of your body, as I'm sure you recall. I am sure he knows you suffer for its loss, and wishes to comfort you."

Haurchefant sighed deeply, a sound like static bleeding around the aural projection as some of the sound reached his actual ears. "I won't say I don't miss my hard-won physique at times," he said, "but there is more to me now, and more to this world. I just wish I could tell him."

"We could," Estinien reminded him, "if you are willing to take the risk. If any others in Ishgard find out what you and I know, you would likely be exiled for the rest of your life. Or worse, killed."

"I know. Fury help me, I know." He shook his head. "I know Aymeric can be trusted as well as you do, but... if someone finds out that he may know of such things, and tries to tear it from him, it would be on my head. Even the mere thought of it pains me...."

Estinien said nothing. He wanted very much to tell him that it would never happen, but... well. He knew better. It was why he would never tell him the full details about his implants, no matter how much he hated keeping secrets for him... an opinion that Haurchefant clearly shared.

Finally Haurchefant looked up at him again, form seeming to flicker out. He was tired, Estinien thought. Good - he would need the rest. "Give him a kiss for me, my dear," he said, that sad smile on his face again.

"You'll have your chance later, you know," Estinien said, but still he nodded.

Another flicker of light, and Haurchefant was gone, no doubt allowing his mind to sleep as his body did.

Estinien shook his head, scanning the streets around him for more outlines of fire, as he had done since he and Haurchefant had realized that he could see him. There was no one yet, he thought. But someday he would very likely find someone, and he would have to decide what to do when that day came.

"Blast it all," he murmured to himself, looking back up at the stars. Projection or not, at least they were much the same as they'd been before he'd received his new red eyes. Even small comforts were better than none.