Title: Human Again
Fandom: Angel
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Angel.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 550
Spoilers: I Will Remember You.
Summary: Suddenly human again, Angel is determined not to mess up this second chance at life.
Content Notes: None needed.
Written For: Challenge 399: Amnesty 66, using Challenge 140: Gift.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Angel, or the characters.



Angel had forgotten what it was like, being human, being alive. He’d grown so used to being a vampire, albeit one with a human soul, that it had come to feel normal. The constant torment of the ravening demon deep inside of him, whispering in the back of his mind and always waiting for an opportunity to take control, never satisfied with the cold animal blood he drank to sustain his undead body, always hungering for human blood made sweeter by terror…

Now the demon was gone as if it had never existed, and even though he still remembered how it had felt to share his body with it, his mind was completely his own, as it hadn’t been in several centuries. And yet the absence of that other presence inside his mind wasn’t what struck him most about suddenly having his humanity restored. Everything was so vibrant and new, all but overwhelming him.

Hunger was the first thing he’d noticed, along with the mind-blowing flavours of foods that hadn’t existed before he’d been turned. Once his appetite had been temporarily sated, he’d become aware of the beating of his heart, calm and steady one moment, then racing the next as he thought of Buffy.

There were other physical sensations he was experiencing as if for the first time. The warmth of his own skin, where he’d been accustomed to assuming the temperature of his surroundings. Only a vampire who’d recently fed on a living victim could mimic human warmth. Then, when he breathed too fast, greedily inhaling the scents his vampire senses had ignored, he grew giddy and lightheaded.

Sun on his skin was another heady sensation. For the first time in what felt like forever, sunlight was no longer something to be feared. He could step out into the blazing heat of the day, let the sun’s rays caress him without any risk of bursting into flame. It felt amazing!

He’d taken so much for granted when he’d been a young man back in Ireland. He’d never appreciated how lucky he was to be alive, able to breathe, and eat, and feel all the delights and agonies of his mortality. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again. He intended to relish everything about being a human, the bad as well as the good, because it was all part of the same miracle, and it could be ripped away from him as abruptly as it had been bestowed.

Life was a gift that should never be squandered or taken cheaply, because unlike demons and vampires, a human life was a fleeting thing, measured in decades rather than centuries, and far too easily extinguished. There were so many things that could bring his life to a premature and painful end. He’d need to be a lot more careful now he could no longer rely on his vampire strength and resilience. At the same time, he couldn’t let fear control him; if he did, then he wouldn’t be living at all. It was a matter of finding the right balance.

For reasons he didn’t yet understand, Angel had been granted another chance at life, a fresh start, and he was determined that this time he wouldn’t mess it up. Whatever it took, he’d prove he was worthy of this gift.


The End