Title: Egged
Fandom: BBC Sherlock
Rating: Gen
Length: 221B
Content Notes: Sherlock/John; Alternate First Meeting; Humor; Crack, AU.
Summary: When 221 Baker Street is egged, Mrs. Hudson hires the "Men in Kilts" cleaning service. Window washer John meets new tenant Sherlock.
Author Notes: One 'Men in Kilts' franchise owner is quoted as saying "Athletes and veterans are the primary guys I go for" and thus a fic was born.

“Mrs. Hudson!”

“Here, Sherlock!”

“It was child’s play—“

“Mind the ladder, dear.”

Sherlock’s gaze followed hers.

“Martha! Just saw the van. ‘Men in Kilts’?”

“Mind the ladder, Marie.”

“Oh my! Makes getting egg on your home seem not such a nuisance.”

“Indeed. Tea, Marie?”

“Yes, he’s going to be a while, isn’t he?”

“Hope so. Sherlock?”

“No tea for me, thanks.”

“No, what were you saying?”

“Oh, it was child’s play, literally, finding the vandals. I notified the authorities, plus schoolmasters, mothers, grandmothers, etcetera.”

“Thank you.”

“There’s something about a man in…”

“Marie.”

“…and you were right to hire a service. It’s not safe for you to be up there, stretching, with your muscles straining—“

“Must unpack. Good day, ladies.”

---

Sherlock stuck his head out the window.

“Hello. Be careful. Just finished that one.”

“Afghanistan or Iraq?!”

“Oh, um. Afghanistan. My name is John W—“

“Watson. That kilt isn’t a uniform. It’s yours. First day?”

“Filling in for a friend. Stamford’s hung a bit loose.”

“Mike Stamford?”

“Yeah, we were at Barts together.”

“Are you the friend who’s looking for a flatshare?”

“Yeah!”

“Like this one?”

John peered over Sherlock’s shoulder. “Could be very nice.”

Sherlock’s gaze wandered from John’s arms to his calves.

“Hope you feel about the violin the same way I feel about the bagpipes.”