Title: One Less Problem (Without You)
Author: clarahow // clarascarters // charleybradburies (will be posted after challenge)
Fandom: Agent Carter
Characters: Daniel Sousa (POV), Peggy Carter, Jack Thompson, Violet, mentions of others
Pairing: Daniel/Peggy; Daniel/Violet
Length: ~975w
Rating: T+
Summary: Whether or not Daniel knows what he wants from his life is debatable at best.
Notes: Title from "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea. Also, sorry for momentary lateness, was editing the fic, trying to make my internet work, and attempting not to mother my illness-milking roommate.



The last time someone laughs or rolls their eyes at him for indignantly bringing Peggy up in conversation is when he’s offered the promotion. She’d earned it just as well as he had, and she’d been in the agency longer, but of course Daniel was the only one to care about such details.

As soon as he’d agreed to taking the position, though, Daniel had known he’d need to restructure the way he thought about his future - about what he wanted, and what he could get, to fit it into the plan.

So, of course, he’d had to accept that the feelings he’d had for Peggy weren’t mutual; besides, he certainly wasn’t keen on trying to have some sort of relationship with someone on the opposite coast, let alone dim enough to think she’d follow him for the sake of trying to have one. And yeah, maybe he’d gotten far enough to realize that he probably loved her, but Daniel didn’t really have enough to lose to bet his dignity against a chance to see a glimmer of that returned.

But there’s a part of him that still feels like he’s missing something.

Daniel holds back from telling her about the promotion at first; Thompson spills anyway, and she congratulates him, of course, with one of those frustrating, winning smiles, but Daniel catches the way that her entire countenance changes when she breathlessly clarifies, “Los Angeles?”

She’s visibly taken aback, and displeased doesn’t actually seem like too strong a word; she tenses up quickly and recovers with a deep breath but the weight remains against his lungs.

“That’ll be quite the change of scenery.”

It is, and it makes it that little bit easier to change himself, and Daniel tries to goad himself into moving on for real - to starting a life all his own, not one centered around anything he hadn’t earned, or anything that was holding him back.

But oh, it holds him. She holds him, mostly because she never has, and he can’t seem to stop wanting more than he’d got. The same dreams plague him here, often escalating to more even elaborate schemes that let them end up in the same place at the same time, but still about tearing down the barrier of an unbearable desire, albeit one he’s learned to tame for the most part.

He’s just about convinced himself that it was still best to make a clean break of it when she calls for the first time. He’s busy with one of his greenest agents when the call comes in, and all anyone tells him is that it’s from New York, and he shrugs it off, assuming it’s Jack then finding later that he has a terrible sinking ache when he hears it had been Peggy who’d called.

“Not for business, just wanting to see how Los Angeles is treating you so far...I bet it’s lovely to have everyone respecting you like they should...the New York office is rather lonely now, without you.”

I think it’s possible I’ll be lonely anywhere without you. I wish you were here.

I wish you were mine.

He tries, but he never actually picks up the phone to return any of her calls. There were too many things he’d never said, too many things he was no longer sure that he should have kept himself from saying, and he’s also sure that his imagination is just building it all up into more than it really is for her.

But what man could just pick up the phone and call a woman to say “I know I left you and I know I’ve never been clear about my feelings but I miss your smile and the clicking of your high heels and every day I spend without you makes me a little more sure that I’ve been falling in love with you since the moment we met?”

Daniel didn’t know if there was a man who could, but he was damn sure he couldn’t. No, he needed to figure out how to push it away, how to be as neutral as possible about her.

He does a better job once his mother goads him in starting physical therapy at the local hospital - doesn’t do as well as he’d like on either front, but he’s smart enough to know it’ll have to be enough.

For a while, it is. He develops a pattern, gets into habits, pulls Rose from New York, meets his neighbors, even starts going with Violet, the nurse who’s helping him. She’s sweet, and cheerful, and supportive, and a kind of person he really does need in his life.

He still thinks about Peggy more often than not, and mostly at inconvenient times, but eventually his chest stops tightening quite as much and he’s memorized the not-exactly-false account of his reasons for moving across the whole damn country so he can tell anyone who asks how his boss was a jerk who rose to power, but not the challenge, in a time of crisis and didn’t appreciate Daniel’s efforts.

Ironically, he and Jack start getting along a bit better, too. After all, it’s not like they could kill each other over the phone. Well, probably.

But, Daniel reminds himself, time and again about every part of his life that still doesn’t feel right, that’s not the point. The point is that he’s moving on from New York, from the war, from Peggy. He’s moved on.

Or so he thinks.

Because everything he’s become since he got to Los Angeles starts to shatter the moment he lays eyes on her again.

I wish you were here.

I wish you were mine.

"Hello, Chief."