Title: How do Sherlock & John change a lightbulb?
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Rating: G
Length: 308
Summary: This is a remix of How do Starsky & Hutch change a lightbulb, which looks at reality compared to fanfiction.
A/N: My grateful thanks to mvernet for letting me remix her post.

How do Sherlock & John change a light bulb?

Sherlock shouts down to Mrs Hudson, who can’t hear through two closed doors, and even if she could would ignore him.  John arrives home, holding two carrier bags.  He dumps the bags on the kitchen table, takes out a light bulb, replaces the dud one and makes tea.


How does a fanfiction Sherlock change a light bulb?

Sherlock sits in the dark contemplating the sheer banality which darkens his life.  He considers adopting a pose but in the dark no-one will see him and understand the effect the tediousness has upon him.  He wonders whether Mycroft will have spotted the absence of light and will phone to offer to send round an electrician, which offer Sherlock will decline on principle.

Suddenly the door opens and John Watson stands in the doorway, surrounded by light.  Sherlock sighs with relief; the one person who can brighten his life has returned.


How does a fanfiction John change a light bulb?

John lies in his bed.  His light bulb has blown but it is too much effort to change it.  To do so will mean going downstairs for a new one, which will mean seeing Sherlock.  And every time he sees Sherlock he realises again how he can never express his feelings for the detective.  Because Sherlock, with his cheek bones and curls and impossible air will never look at a damaged ex-soldier with nothing to offer.  Better for John to remain where he is and stay in the dark.

Then the door opens and Sherlock enters.  He shines a torch in John’s direction.  “Come on, John, the game is afoot.”

Knowing Sherlock wants him is all the encouragement John needs to get out of bed.  He will worry about replacing the light bulb next time he falls over something in the dark.