Title: Her Bright Future
Fandom: Saved by the Bell
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Slater/Jessie, Zack/Kelly, mentions past Rene/Jessie (not in a positive light)
Rating: PG/K+
Summary: Old friends help Jessie to face herself and painful truths.
Word Count: 4,107
Written For: Fan FlashWorks 458. Flutter
Warnings: Future/Reboot Fic
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Peter Engel and any other rightful owners, none of whom are, or are affiliated with in any way, the author, and are used without permission. The songs mentioned belong to the Eurythmics and Timbuk 3, who are again not affiliated with the author in any way. The author makes no monetary gain off of this work of fan fiction.








It was just a moment. It was just a simple, ordinary moment between friends. It wasn't supposed to hurt like this. It wasn't supposed to trigger a thousand, possibly more, memories or send delicious, tempting, and tantalizing sensations racing throughout her being. It wasn't supposed to make her breath catch or her heart flutter. And that fluttering certainly wasn't supposed to be painful, bittersweet, almost like a bird flexing its wings after having been caged so long that it had long since forgotten how to fly.

But Jessie's heart was hurting, and fluttering, and dancing behind her breastbone. Her breathing was suddenly labored, and her eyes were swiftly trying to turn anywhere that would keep them from having to connect with Slater's. He was only a friend, a colleague, nothing more or less. He was a colleague. He was a gym coach, for crying out loud! And she was a professional, a world-renowned therapist, having penned several books before she admitted defeat and came here. "I -- I have to go," she murmured, desperately looking anywhere but at him, and then, too, but at their friends who had known her her entire life and him most of his life.

She had to go. She had to flee before they could catch her looking, realize what she was feeling, realize -- Her life -- It was a lie! She was nearly sobbing as she blurted out some lame excuse about having to get up to get Jamie ready early in the morning and nearly ran down the hallway whose turns she knew perhaps better even than the rooms in her own house. After all, the place she was living at now was still relatively new to her. She'd intended to fill it with love, with her growing family, with her husband and son and maybe another child to come along the way. Instead, it now often felt strange and far too large to Jessie, especially when Jamie wasn't home. Sometimes his presence too could remind her poignantly of how much they had lost and how little she had left to give him.

"Jessie, wait!"

Perhaps because the school was so familiar to her, its hallways a strange comfort from her days running as Student President and many other awards and positions she had at the time thought promising, that Jessie's feet took her deeper into the school instead of out. Once she was out of her friends' eyesights -- out of his eyes --, her feet made a rapid beeline for the old stall where she'd sat and cried many times as a teenager. Her friends had rarely known when she was sad then. She didn't stop to consider how better they seemed to know her, or perhaps rather how transparent her act had become. Instead, she pulled her feet up on the toilet lid and sat as she had so often so many years ago, her head burrowed in her jean-clad knees.

For all that had changed, so much had stayed the same too. She was still out of place. She was still pretending to be taller, stronger, perhaps even smarter than she actually was. She was still hiding from the truth, still painting a portrait of a strong, beautiful, capable, and independent woman while, at heart, she was scared and hurting. It wasn't just Rene who had left her in this position; the whole world had. For any strength Jessie might have, the world was stronger, and it didn't like her ideologies.

People didn't like to change when they didn't have to, and they certainly didn't like people who made them feel bad about not changing. She knew that. If her divorce had taught her anything, it was that most people, at heart, did not want to change. Many talked a good talk, but few of even those who pretended to care actually, genuinely did.

She didn't know when her tears had began, but when her head lifted at the sound of the outer bathroom door opening, Jessie realized her cheeks were wet. She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, then tried desperately to rub the tear streaks from her tired face. She knew who had followed her before her old childhood friend even called her name. "Jessie?"

She stayed silent. Maybe Kelly wouldn't --

"Jessie, I know you're in here."

Of course she did, Jessie thought, releasing a sigh. Bayside High would have given her fits if she hadn't been friends with the two most popular kids in the entire school, but befriending Zack early on and Kelly later had kept her, despite her good grades, ungainly height, studious beliefs, and passionate views, had kept her from being one of the many kids who had been picked on. Being their friends hadn't worked for Screech and Violet, but when she'd started dating the star player of the basketball team, the few kids who had dared to say something snide to her, and had gotten away without a broken nose (she could throw a mean right hook still), had quickly learned to leave her alone.

But that was exactly the problem. She was alone, and she was so very weary of being alone. Even Jamie wasn't much comfort, because the thought that she was his mother and should be setting an example for him was almost foremost in her mind whenever her child was near. So, too, was the thought that whereas she might be at least a decent mother, she could never be the father he deserved, and picking the wrong man to wed and bed -- picking the wrong man for her child's father -- had ensured that her son would never have the father he deserved. Rene had always been a wild spirit; she should have seen long ago, long before Jamie had been born, that he would never settle down to being a husband or a dad.

She had failed her son. She had failed herself. She sniffled, then froze, a finger pressed against her nose, as she saw a distinct pair of pink pumps come to a stop right outside her stall door. "Jessie," Kelly spoke again, taking obvious care and patience with her words, "I know you're in there. Do you wanna talk about it?"

Kelly had caught her like this so many times over the first years of their friendship, often hiding because some stupid jock had been unduly mean to her. It was a jock who had sent her fleeing here again tonight, but for an entirely different matter.

Outside the stall, Kelly smiled. She wasn't happy that her friend was hurting, and had been trying to speak to Jessie all night, but she could not help the fond remembrance of the amazing young woman who had so often acted like a scared child in this very bathroom. She could already picture Jessie just the way she was surely sitting now: her long legs pulled up in front of her on top of the toilet, her arms wrapped around her legs in part to keep her balance, and her poor, beautiful face a complete mess. Her nose was undoubtedly red already. She was likely trying to hold in her "betraying" emotions with a finger against her nose, but her poor eyes, Kelly was sure, were full of too many tears to be stopped by a single digit.

"Jessie, I know you," she tried again. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong. I already know. But you do have to come out of there sooner or later."

Being one of seven children had surely taught Kelly patience over the years -- not to mention dating Zack Morris, who still had not, and she knew never would, completely grown up. She was smiling, because she knew Jessie looked cute right now, much like her actual little sister, Nikki. The two actually had far more in common than most people would think, but maybe it was just that bold, strong female spirit that did not want to admit weakness or defeat.

"There's no one here to judge you," Kelly spoke softly, whispering to her through the closed door, much as she had her own sister on many an occasion while they'd all been growing up. "There's only me, and I won't judge you."

Jessie sniffled. "Of course you won't, Missus Governor." God, how had Kelly managed to climb the bureaucracy ladder while Jessie herself was working on the same high school they had attended as teenagers?! It was bad enough that she had to provide therapy to a bunch of kids, but honestly, did it have to be Bayside?! Why not a school in Washington DC? Or she could have taken education to a remote jungle village somewhere where the children were desperate to learn. Instead, she had admitted defeat when she'd finally accepted that her divorce to Rene was inevitable and had come crawling back here to Bayside, to the one place where she'd felt safe.

She had claimed it was all for Jamie, of course, had said that she'd wanted him to have a solid, safe school experience where he could make friendships that could last him a lifetime, like she had here. But the truth was, she'd been scared, hurting, and yearning for the safety of home. A new well of tears seemed to spring, and Jessie caught herself sobbing a half second after the sound had already escaped her.

"Jessica Spano, don't make me come in there -- "

"It is Spano," she sobbed, unable to stop herself any longer. "It's no longer -- "

Kelly couldn't make out the rest of her friend's words for the wailing of her tears, but in a second, she understood what was wrong. "Stop."

The fierce, abrupt command from a girl who had always been sunshine, patience, and love actually cut through Jessie's tears. Her tears were still running, but she was silent as she looked at the door in shock. "What... did you say?" she questioned, disbelieving.

"I said stop. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop tearing yourself to shreds over a man who was too stupid to realize what he had. You have always been one of the strongest, smartest, and prettiest girls I have ever known. If Rene was too stupid to keep you, that is his loss."

"But Jamie -- "

"Stop hiding behind your son too."

To Kelly's surprise, the stall door opened, and Jessie peeked out, blinking at her through her tears. She wanted to argue with her, but the crazy thing was was she had recognized the truth in Kelly's words the moment they had been spoken aloud. She did hurt for her son. She did feel a weight of guilt for the position her foolishness had thrust him into. He should never have been without a father. She had promised herself, when her own parents had divorced, that she would never put her child, if she ever had one, through everything her parents had put her. She would choose a man who wasn't afraid of a strong woman, or to let the strong woman be herself and speak her mind, a man who wanted to be a husband to her Hillary Clinton and to be a loving, devoted father to any children they might have.

She had chosen wrong.

She had ignored almost everything she had told herself, in her formative years, that she desired and deserved in a life mate. She had been scared, in part, because the one man she had known who had truly reached her soul had been completely different from everything she'd ever thought she'd wanted growing up. On the surface, Rene had been everything she had wanted -- but deep down, and perhaps not even so deep down, he had all the traits she had absolutely not wanted to, and had lacked all the most important ones. Neither she nor Jamie would ever have been allowed to come first in that self-centered, egotistical, self-absorbed blowhard --

She didn't realize she was speaking until she heard the sound of her own voice. "He is a chauvinistic pig of the worst breed, isn't he?!"

Kelly's twinkling laughter rang throughout the bathroom; soon, Jessie found herself joining her. It wasn't the divorce, Jessie realized, that had been torturing her thoughts for weeks. It was her own self-doubt. Before Slater, she had never thought she would find a man who could love her, and she'd grown up watching her own father constantly feeling inadequate because of his wife's strengths and arguing with her to prove that he was better. A relationship wasn't about which sex was better, stronger, prettier, or more intelligent. A relationship -- a true, solid relationship that could stand a chance of lasting -- was built on mutual trust and admiration, two sometimes very different halves coming together to form one whole.

She never could have had that with Rene. Everything had always been about him, and she had allowed it to be for the longest time because he had seemed to embody every other quality she found admirable. And after getting her education... after leaving Slater and finally having a chance to realize the great loss she had suffered by letting him go so she could obtain that education... She had come to realize she was lonely and afraid of never finding love again. She'd told herself that what she had felt all those years ago with Slater had only been "puppy love", not something that could have possibly lasted, but she had come to realize, since returning to Bayside for her own protection and healing, that the marriage she had thought she was building could never have lasted and all those feelings she'd thought would go away when she was grown were still there.

The man still made her heart flutter. He still made her knees weak and her breathing quicken. He still... She was starting to dream about him at night again, instead of the nightmares she'd had every night for so long while trying to make her miserable marriage work. Jessie found her foot stomping at her own self. She was looking directly into Kelly's concerned gaze when she did so, and her friend shook her head but knew what she meant.

Jessie had a great deal of emotional baggage through which she desperately needed to sort, but it all summed up to a few solid points. Her marriage with Rene had never been going to work. The only marriage that was bound to work with that self-possessed blowhard was one to his own self! And Slater... Colleague or not, freaking basketball coach or star athlete (it was all different dressings for the same jock mindset), she had always, and would always, love AC Slater.

She sighed and almost fell against the stall door, but Kelly was there to catch her. "What am I going to do?" Jessie asked, shaking her head forlornly.

Kelly gave her a long, considerate look while she considered Jessie's predicament and reassuringly stroked her hair. "First you're going to -- "

Jessie suddenly spun away and vomited into the toilet behind her. That was something she had rarely done as a child, and something she had never done before for the same reasons as tonight. "First," Kelly said, stroking her back and holding her upright as she would have if she had been her own sister, "you're going to clean yourself up and you're going to be the strong, intelligent woman I've always known you to be, Jessie. You're going to face facts. Yes, you came home to Bayside, but there's no harm in that. You needed a safe environment while you figured out what was going wrong with your life and how to fix it."

"But how do I fix it?" Jessie asked, dabbing at her mouth.

Kelly steered her to the sink and proceeded to help her clean up. When her face was refreshened, Kelly turned Jessie back to face her own reflection. "You're going to start by looking into this mirror every day."

"Why this one?"

"Maybe not this one, but -- Hey! No more distractions!" Kelly ordered. They had both always been good (or perhaps bad? She'd ponder that later.) at distracting themselves from the genuine problem at hand. They would focus on other issues, often things they could fix or that were more about someone else rather than themselves, as opposed to admitting they were hurting or otherwise feeling inadequate. "We're adults now. It's time we both stopped hiding from our true feelings."

"Meaning what?" Jessie asked, trying to ignore the way the room was slightly spinning and the bright harshness of the lights.

"You know what I mean. You're going to find a mirror every morning -- your car mirrors, if nothing else -- and you're going to look at this woman right here," she pointed at Jessie's reflection, "and remind yourself how smart, talented, brilliant, strong, and beautiful she is -- you are -- and what a prize you are to any man who is strong and smart enough to realize that and be the right man for you. A man is only going to allow his wife's strengths to make him feel inadequate if he is inadequate, and if he is inadequate, you don't need him. You deserve better."

"But I -- "

"You love Slater. Yes, I know. I saw the way you looked when his hand touched yours on the gym door tonight. I see the way you look every time he says your name or comes too close. You two have always loved each other. You're like Zack and I. You're meant to be together."

"But he's -- "

"So he's a jock." Kelly shrugged. "There are worse things in this world. You just divorced one."

Jessie found she could not argue with that, but even taking Slater's jock status out of the equation, there were other concerns. "But how do I tell Jamie that I'm in love with his Coach?"

"You don't. He already knows you two have a past. Let him get through this year. Focus on repairing yourself and making yourself ready to actually be in a relationship again. Then, once Jamie's moved on and is no longer on Slater's team, then make your move."

"But -- That could be years -- "

"It could be, but it's already been -- what? -- twenty six years since you and Slater were together? What's a few more years? Besides, right now, you need to focus on healing yourself. Not a man."

Kelly stopped talking and gazed at Jessie's reflection. "What?" she asked for Jessie was smiling at her.

"I see why you're the one who's become a state leader."

"I'm not the Governor. Zack's the Governor -- "

"Behind every great man -- "

Kelly broke into song, and Jessie joined her. " -- there had to be a great woman!"

Both women giggled. Jessie leaned against Kelly as she looked around them, "God, how many years did we spend in this bathroom?"

"Most of four years," Kelly said, nodding. "That almost felt like old times. Except we need hair brushes to sing into." She giggled again.

"And Lisa. Don't forget Lisa. She had a great voice."

"We all have great voices, Jessie, and we are all awesome catches. Slater knew it then, and he knows it now. He wants you, but he doesn't think you want him."

Jessie eyed her curiously. "What makes you so sure of that?" she asked at length.

"Because I know people," Kelly said with a smile. She realized her words were true as well. Jessie had led the school academically during their childhood, but she had also led in her own right. She was one of seven children and often been a voice for her siblings as well as the school. Jessie also was not entirely wrong about her current standing as Missus Zack Morris; there had been more than one important decision where she had guided her husband's politics.

"The time just isn't right yet, but that's why you came back here. It's why you both ended up returning to Bayside. It's karma. You left me without your other pieces. You've come back to get them, and you will get them and you will be whole. It's just going to take a little more time, is all." She smiled at her.

"Hey, is this a private party or can anybody join?"

"Zack!" Kelly chastised.

"Hey, this is the girl's room! You can't -- "

"Wanna bet?" Zack grinned broadly as he strolled into the girls' bathroom. "It's after hours."

"If the tabloids catch you in here -- " his wife started to warn.

"But they won't."

Jessie was shaking her head as Zack embraced his wife. "How'd you know where we were?"

"Because I know the two of you," Zack told her, to which she could not argue. After all, they had been friends longer even than he had been romancing Kelly. "Come on," he said, guiding them both. "It's late, and we should be getting out of here. You know, Jessie, we've got an extra bedroom if you want to spend the night. Then you girls can continue your talk in the morning."

"An adult slumber party!" Kelly's eyes sparkled at the idea.

"Now that," Zack grumbled, "the tabloids will eat up!"

"I can't," Jessie was saying. As they stepped out of the bathroom, she looked around them. Her face fell with obvious disappointment. "Where's Slater?"

"He went home. It's not what you think, though," Zack hurried on to say before either woman could speak up again. "He has it bad for you, Jessie," he told his best friend from childhood, shaking his blonde head. "Almost as bad as I've always had it for Kelly." He squeezed his wife, his arms still around her shoulders and waist. "But you just divorced Rene."

"Why does everybody keep saying I divorced him?"

"Didn't you?" Kelly asked.

"Well, I mean, it was rather mutual -- " Jessie's face contorted.

"Regardless of who dumped who," Zack pointed out, "you should have left him a long time ago. He was never right for you."

At one time, she would have argued with him and perhaps demanded how the jock was supposed to be right for the brainiac, but not tonight. Tonight, she only nodded in mute acceptance. After all, no one knew her better than these two, except maybe for Slater, and on this night, thanks in part to dear, old friends, she had finally stopped running from herself. They were right: Rene had never deserved her. They had never been going to last. But how else could she possibly explain the feelings she still held for Slater after all these many years? How else except that maybe, just maybe, they were meant to be?

She turned her head slowly, her eyes sweeping the hallways of Bayside High. These school truly did hold so many memories for them, and despite everything, she had always felt safe here. She had always felt special here. He had always made her feel safe and special, so unlike anything Rene had made her feel in so many years. It was funny, but -- perhaps because they were standing in this place -- her childhood days of being loved and appreciated suddenly felt far closer than all the miserable years of marriage she'd survived to Rene.

"Not tonight," whispered Kelly, touching Jessie's hand.

"No, no, of course not." Jessie shook her head. "You're right. You're both right," she said, appraising them. They did look good together, and they had learned so much together. "I have to fix myself, and then I -- then we can fix us." That was the only way a relationship ever lasted, after all: both parties had to be willing and actually want to put in the required work. She nibbled her bottom lip. "But are you sure," she asked hesitantly, "that he's going to want to -- "

"Yes!" Zack and Kelly enthused together.

Jessie broke out into an actual, genuine grin. She was home. She was back amongst friends, and she had another chance at making the life she should have had, a life led by so much important things than the academics behind which she'd hidden for years. Maybe she wasn't a failure. Maybe she was just starting to get things right after all. But for the first time in a long time, for the first time since she'd last visited these halls with her friends and boyfriend and thought, with the blind foolishness of youth, that they might all get to stay together, her future was looking brilliant again.

Zack grinned at her, squeezing Kelly once more. "Do you need a pair of shades?" he joked.

"You know, I might," she answered, grinning. "I just might."





The End