Title: All aboard
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 830 words
Content notes: None
Author notes: Written for Challenge 437 - Ticket
Summary: Ianto is convinced that train travel is the stress-free way to go places.


Jack leaned over and glanced out through the window at the scenery as it began to blur into a wash of indistinct colours. ‘Finally,’ he said, feeling the undercarriage beneath them start to move more quickly. ‘I thought this was meant to be high speed rail.’

‘It is,’ Ianto said, carefully trying to pluck pieces of his croissant from the bag without shedding any crumbs. ‘It's just that they have to move slower through the residential areas. Now that we’re past suburbia, it’ll really get moving.’ He popped another piece of pastry in his mouth and chewed slowly as he also watched the rural outside whizz by. ‘See? Isn’t this so much better than trying to drive all the way to Brussels?’

‘Not having to go to a UNIT conference at all would be my preference,’ Jack said, before pausing to sip his takeaway coffee, enjoying the last remnants of it even though it was now getting cold. ‘I still don't see what’s wrong with driving though.’

‘The SUV belongs in Cardiff with the team in case they need it,’ Ianto reminded him.

‘I never said we had to take the SUV,’ Jack replied. ‘We could just as easily have taken my car.’

Ianto snorted. ‘Your little blue sports number? As if you need any more excuse to be ripping up the miles of autobahn at some ridiculously frightening speed.’

‘We’re speeding right now,’ Jack countered.

‘Yes, but in the hands of a very safe and capable train driver. Not the man who can piece himself back together after wrapping himself around a tree and taking out twelve other cars along with him.’

Jack harrumphed and slid down in his seat. ‘I’m not that bad.’

Ianto grinned. ‘Just bad enough that I've worn out the handle on the side of the door and redone my will three times since I've known you. Getting in a car with you is like a trust exercise, except I'm not entirely sure there’s anyone behind me that’s going to catch me.’

‘Oh, har har. It's going to take just as long to get there as it would have done if I'd driven, except we miss all the stops along the way.’

‘And we get there in one piece without any public indecency charges. Travelling by train is the easiest way to get there and we can just relax and enjoy the ride. Ah,’ he said, pausing and putting his bag of pastries on the little table in front of them. ‘Here’s the conductor now.’ He pulled open his jacket and reached inside, frowning at the empty little inner pocket before patting down his trouser pockets. ‘Oh god,’ he muttered.

‘What?’

‘My ticket. I can’t find it!’ He cast a panicked look further up the carriage where the conductor was slowly working his way through the passengers aboard, clipping each ticket in turn. ‘Jack! It's a sixty pound fine for not travelling with a valid ticket!’

Jack simply shrugged at him. ‘So we’ll pay the sixty pounds if it comes to that.’

‘That’s not the point! I had a ticket and now it's gone and now I’m going to be in trouble for not having one, and I’m not even sure I speak enough French to explain it.’

Jack rolled his eyes at Ianto's anxious rechecking of pockets and wallet. ‘Pretty sure Eurostar employees speak English as well as French.’

‘Still missing the point,’ Ianto hissed, trying to keep his voice down so as not to attract the attention of the conductor any sooner than was absolutely necessary.

‘No, the point is that you don’t have to worry about your ticket.’ Jack reached into his pocket and produced two ticket stubs. ‘I’ve got it. You gave them to me to hold whilst you needed a spare hand to pay for the coffee and croissants at the station. Clearly you forgot all about that.’

Ianto blinked, then did a double take at the two crisp tickets in Jack's hand. ‘Oh. Well, yes, I suppose I did have my hands full and the train was leaving in five minutes and it all was a bit of a rush and…’

‘And? Can't you just admit you forgot?’

‘I forgot! Okay? Normally I'd never leave you in charge of tickets. You’d probably lose them.’

‘No more so than the person currently not holding any tickets.’

Ianto snatched the ticket from Jack's fingers, huffing out a relieved breath as he turned back around in his seat, making sure he had eye contact with the conductor as he glided towards them, handing out his ticket for inspection. The conductor barely paid it a glance, checking both with hardly a care before moving on. Ianto sank even lower into his seat, like he’d just been passed over for execution.

Jack leaned in close to his ear. ‘I thought you said this was a much more relaxing way to travel?’

‘Shut up. Next time I'm putting you in charge of buying the coffees.’