Title: Clash of opinions
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,042 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 375 - Amnesty & Challenge 100 - Choices
Summary: Jack and Ianto don't always see eye to eye on everything.
'Oh, no. You are not wearing that,' Ianto declared as Jack stepped out of their exhaustive TARDIS wardrobe, carrying what could only be described as a criminal offence going somewhere to make people vomit into their brains.
Jack held it up against his body, partly in defence, partly to show Ianto just how truly horrifying it would look once he was actually wearing it. 'Why not?'
Ianto's eyes narrowed at the prospect. 'It's blue velvet,' he said with a bluntness that challenged Jack to ask for further explanation. It wasn't even a good shade of blue. Not sky blue or some deep royal blue or even a navy. It was somewhere in between, in that gaudy shade that should only even been seen on the side of a circus tent. He could already picture the suit as being paired with some equally hideous frilled shirt and platform shoes. He cast one mournful glance at his own carefully selected charcoal pinstripe and deep burgundy shirt, coupled with a bright silver tie and despaired.
Jack frowned as he considered it again, as if he were trying hard to fathom out what possible objections Ianto could have to it. 'It's a classic.'
'If by classic you mean stomach churningly ugly, then yes, it's an absolute classic.' Dear lord, Ianto thought, heaving a sigh. Jack genuinely was a mystery to him sometimes. Too many deaths and resurrections must surely have been impacting Jack's cognitive abilities. He waited for Jack's face to break into a huge grin and a raucous laugh to tell him it was all a practical joke and that he must be out of his mind to think that Jack would voluntarily choose such an outfit, but it wasn't forthcoming, no matter how much Ianto scowled at him, daring him to find hilarity in the expression.
Jack pouted instead, which wasn't nearly as effective at breaking down Ianto's defences as it might have been had it not been for that outfit reminding him precisely what the price of caving in would cost him. 'Hey, I don't make judgement on your wardrobe choices.'
'That's because I don't make bad choices,' Ianto said, snatching the hanger from Jack before he could run off with it. 'You, on the other hand, make it your life's work to find new ways of winding me up.'
And wind him up, it had. A thousand garments in their wardrobe and Jack had found the worst of the lot. Ianto was going to be having words with the TARDIS for even entertaining some of Jack's more out of the box preferences. It was one thing to have sections of their personal wardrobe dedicated to more unusual garments - and Ianto had come to appreciate the section dedicated to black leather in ways he never dreamed of - but this felt almost like a glitch in the TARDIS's programming. Like they'd crossed over some invisible barrier and stepped into the wardrobe of some other companion to the Doctor who had occupied a now archived version of the TARDIS, but where the archive and the current had somehow blurred and merged into one.
'That is a totally inaccurate assessment,' Jack told him. 'Your level of annoyance is only ever a secondary consideration.'
'Ah,' Ianto said, waving the suit around as it swung on his arm, 'so you admit you picked this out on purpose.'
'No. Just that annoying you is a bonus. You getting all hot and bothered is quite charming.'
'Oh, I'm charming when I'm annoyed now, am I?' Small wonder the TARDIS had let this into their wardrobe. She took it upon herself to make their lives as enjoyable aboard as possible, meaning that she stocked Ianto's favourite blends of coffee beans, always made sure they were up to date with their favourite books and television programs from across the galaxies, and now, on a day when they were invited to attend the sixty-eighth wedding of some dear friend to the Doctor, she had made available to them their best outfits for attending such an auspicious occasion. Just a pity that their individual choices clashed so awfully. Respect for their individuality was one thing, putting them at loggerheads was quite another.
Jack slinked over, plastering an all too charming smile of his own on his face as he snaked his arms around Ianto's hips. 'Disarmingly charming,' he said, purring the words into Ianto's ear with a warm breath that always made him go weak at the knees.
'I can be charming when I'm not annoyed too, you know.' He wasn't entirely sure which part of him Jack found charming, or how to turn it on and off, but it seemed not to make much difference most of the time. He'd never go so far as to say he had Jack wrapped around his finger, but he could usually get his way. And on this occasion he simply had to. He couldn't be seen standing next to a man dressed like something out of Boogie Nights. It was more than his pride could stomach.
'I just think maybe we should dress a little bit more understated,' he suggested. 'After all, we don't personally know either of the happy couple and we wouldn't want to outshine them on their big day. And you know, what with this being the sixty-eighth time he's getting married, I wouldn't want eyes straying to you as a potential number sixty nine.' That wasn't even a lie. Ianto was genuinely worried that wedding sixty eight and wedding sixty nine might occur within the same twenty four hours. That his lover was the most eligible new groom was distinctly possible.
Jack sighed. 'You're so right. I've only got eyes for you,' he added, which gave Ianto a reassuring buzz he hadn't known he needed. Jack fingered the plush fabric still draped over Ianto's arm. 'But perhaps we could just save this one for another time? There's bound to be lots of other weddings.'
'Sure,' Ianto agreed, relieved that they wouldn't be pretending to enjoy themselves whilst still stewing over an unresolved argument. And it would buy him time for that stern talking to he was going to give the TARDIS. Having so many choices didn't have to include having bad ones.
'Oh, no. You are not wearing that,' Ianto declared as Jack stepped out of their exhaustive TARDIS wardrobe, carrying what could only be described as a criminal offence going somewhere to make people vomit into their brains.
Jack held it up against his body, partly in defence, partly to show Ianto just how truly horrifying it would look once he was actually wearing it. 'Why not?'
Ianto's eyes narrowed at the prospect. 'It's blue velvet,' he said with a bluntness that challenged Jack to ask for further explanation. It wasn't even a good shade of blue. Not sky blue or some deep royal blue or even a navy. It was somewhere in between, in that gaudy shade that should only even been seen on the side of a circus tent. He could already picture the suit as being paired with some equally hideous frilled shirt and platform shoes. He cast one mournful glance at his own carefully selected charcoal pinstripe and deep burgundy shirt, coupled with a bright silver tie and despaired.
Jack frowned as he considered it again, as if he were trying hard to fathom out what possible objections Ianto could have to it. 'It's a classic.'
'If by classic you mean stomach churningly ugly, then yes, it's an absolute classic.' Dear lord, Ianto thought, heaving a sigh. Jack genuinely was a mystery to him sometimes. Too many deaths and resurrections must surely have been impacting Jack's cognitive abilities. He waited for Jack's face to break into a huge grin and a raucous laugh to tell him it was all a practical joke and that he must be out of his mind to think that Jack would voluntarily choose such an outfit, but it wasn't forthcoming, no matter how much Ianto scowled at him, daring him to find hilarity in the expression.
Jack pouted instead, which wasn't nearly as effective at breaking down Ianto's defences as it might have been had it not been for that outfit reminding him precisely what the price of caving in would cost him. 'Hey, I don't make judgement on your wardrobe choices.'
'That's because I don't make bad choices,' Ianto said, snatching the hanger from Jack before he could run off with it. 'You, on the other hand, make it your life's work to find new ways of winding me up.'
And wind him up, it had. A thousand garments in their wardrobe and Jack had found the worst of the lot. Ianto was going to be having words with the TARDIS for even entertaining some of Jack's more out of the box preferences. It was one thing to have sections of their personal wardrobe dedicated to more unusual garments - and Ianto had come to appreciate the section dedicated to black leather in ways he never dreamed of - but this felt almost like a glitch in the TARDIS's programming. Like they'd crossed over some invisible barrier and stepped into the wardrobe of some other companion to the Doctor who had occupied a now archived version of the TARDIS, but where the archive and the current had somehow blurred and merged into one.
'That is a totally inaccurate assessment,' Jack told him. 'Your level of annoyance is only ever a secondary consideration.'
'Ah,' Ianto said, waving the suit around as it swung on his arm, 'so you admit you picked this out on purpose.'
'No. Just that annoying you is a bonus. You getting all hot and bothered is quite charming.'
'Oh, I'm charming when I'm annoyed now, am I?' Small wonder the TARDIS had let this into their wardrobe. She took it upon herself to make their lives as enjoyable aboard as possible, meaning that she stocked Ianto's favourite blends of coffee beans, always made sure they were up to date with their favourite books and television programs from across the galaxies, and now, on a day when they were invited to attend the sixty-eighth wedding of some dear friend to the Doctor, she had made available to them their best outfits for attending such an auspicious occasion. Just a pity that their individual choices clashed so awfully. Respect for their individuality was one thing, putting them at loggerheads was quite another.
Jack slinked over, plastering an all too charming smile of his own on his face as he snaked his arms around Ianto's hips. 'Disarmingly charming,' he said, purring the words into Ianto's ear with a warm breath that always made him go weak at the knees.
'I can be charming when I'm not annoyed too, you know.' He wasn't entirely sure which part of him Jack found charming, or how to turn it on and off, but it seemed not to make much difference most of the time. He'd never go so far as to say he had Jack wrapped around his finger, but he could usually get his way. And on this occasion he simply had to. He couldn't be seen standing next to a man dressed like something out of Boogie Nights. It was more than his pride could stomach.
'I just think maybe we should dress a little bit more understated,' he suggested. 'After all, we don't personally know either of the happy couple and we wouldn't want to outshine them on their big day. And you know, what with this being the sixty-eighth time he's getting married, I wouldn't want eyes straying to you as a potential number sixty nine.' That wasn't even a lie. Ianto was genuinely worried that wedding sixty eight and wedding sixty nine might occur within the same twenty four hours. That his lover was the most eligible new groom was distinctly possible.
Jack sighed. 'You're so right. I've only got eyes for you,' he added, which gave Ianto a reassuring buzz he hadn't known he needed. Jack fingered the plush fabric still draped over Ianto's arm. 'But perhaps we could just save this one for another time? There's bound to be lots of other weddings.'
'Sure,' Ianto agreed, relieved that they wouldn't be pretending to enjoy themselves whilst still stewing over an unresolved argument. And it would buy him time for that stern talking to he was going to give the TARDIS. Having so many choices didn't have to include having bad ones.
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