Title: Ordinary Men
Fandom: Vagrant Story
Rating: G
Length: 950 words
Summary: The high priest of the Müllenkamp sect tends to embrace pleasure rather than deny it, but there are other temptations that may whisper in his ear.

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Though prized by the followers of St. Iocus, self-denial was seldom considered a virtue by the brethren of the Müllenkamp sect, even among their priesthood. So long as all involved were willing, and it harmed no one in the process, there was no reason why they should not eat, drink, dance, laugh, enjoy one another's company in whatever way was pleasing. The gods had gifted mankind with all manner of good things to enjoy during their time in this world - why should their children not partake?

Thus, temptation was not often considered at all, let alone considered a problem. Sydney, as the high priests who had come before him, preached that rather than resisting the joys that life had to offer, his followers should embrace them to the fullest. After all, the soul was eternal, as well as the happiness and sorrow it accumulated during its time in the world... which itself was not eternal. They would do well to make the best of the physical realm while they could, while it and they still existed. Those who followed Sydney reveled in their freedom and the respite it provided from the struggles they faced, and Sydney reveled in the knowledge he had shown at least these few a better way than guilt or fear.

Yet in spite of his teachings, at times temptation found Sydney nonetheless.

Temptation for one such as Sydney did not come in the darkest nights, as it oft did for those who followed a stricter doctrine. The darkness was a time for indulgence - if not in more intense pleasures, in the simple pleasure of lying at Hardin's side, or resting his head upon his chest. Feeling the rise and fall of his breathing, hearing the steady rhythm of his heart and the similarly steady hum of the thoughts which originated within, a comfort that only Sydney could know. In the darkness, Sydney found satisfaction.

It was beneath the light of the sun that Sydney found his desires wandering to places they should not. When he saw plainly the lines sorrow and anger had etched in Hardin's face, too many for his years to account for, and the weariness in the smile he offered Sydney nonetheless. When he heard Hardin's voice speak quietly, grimly, of their preparations to attack - tactics and strategies they might employ to kill those who sought to kill them and their brothers and sisters, his eyes cast down at the diagrams the two of them scratched into the dirt. When the nearness of the gods had left Sydney unwell, and the painful brightness of the morning sun was mitigated somewhat by Hardin's quiet care, soothing sore muscles with his touch, bringing Sydney something light to eat and something sweet to drink just for the hope that he might.

Early on, the temptation Sydney faced had been to send Hardin away, to remove him from danger before he was too deeply entrenched to escape. Although he was very good at what he did in the service of Müllenkamp and the gods, Sydney knew this was not the life Hardin should have lived. Behind the steel and smoldering anger was a core of gentle kindness. He should have been free of such concerns as the church's zealotry and the king's growing instability. Hardin should have been a man of good repute, an honorable husband and father who provided for a calm, affectionate household - not a man who had a bounty on his head, who must constantly look over his shoulder with a hand on his sword, raise the other and order their band of faithful to fight.

Soon enough it had been made clear to Sydney. Even had the gods not needed his talents, inherent and learned and Dark-given, Hardin would never leave of his own accord - and therefore the temptation that tugged at Sydney's soul had changed.

At times he still imagined a quieter life for Hardin. As the lord of some distant manor, as he might have been had his circumstances not become so dire, or perhaps a simple man working a simple job somewhere in the countryside. Coming home each evening to greet the son he had always wanted - perhaps a son who looked much like the brother for whom he still grieved. It was essentially the same fantasy Sydney had let himself imagine before, but with one small difference...

When he was feeling particularly daring, Sydney pictured himself walking away from his own calling as well. To go with Hardin and remain by his side, for Hardin would never have left Müllenkamp if it meant leaving Sydney. He allowed himself to imagine the two of them sharing the simple pleasures of daily life, as ordinary men with ordinary concerns, rather than the need to worry over the movements of the Crimson Blades, or the state of Parliament, or the apocalyptic prophecies Sydney had seen. It was absurd, and Sydney knew it. He had never wanted anything of the sort before, and he couldn't imagine what he would do with a simple life. A life where he could relax, be calm... do whatever he wished, on his own time. Such a life, peaceful but inconsequential, would have quickly driven him mad... yet he allowed himself to imagine it.

However, such imaginings could only be allowed briefly. For a high priest and oracle of the gods to succumb to such temptations, leaving the children of Müllenkamp to fend for themselves against the horrors he had foreseen, would have been an unforgivable sin.

So he imagined, and then cleared his heart and his vision, and did as Hardin did - he did what must be done. Temptation in itself was no sin, unless one gave in.

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