Title: Of one's own
Fandom: Magic Knight Rayearth
Rating: General
Length: 3000 words
Content notes: None
Author notes: Post canon, Ascot, Zazu/Ascot sort-of pre-relationship
Summary: Five times people were worried about Ascot wanting to move out, and one time they weren't.

oOo




Caldina:

“You don’t have to move you, you know,” Caldina leaned against the door of Ascot’s room, arms crossed. “I can always kick LaFarga back out, if it’s feeling too crowded for you. He’s got those fancy Captain’s quarters he’s entitled to - this is your home.”

“It’s been a very nice home,” Ascot told her, looking through the bits and pieces on the shelves. “But even if you make LaFarga leave, my friends aren’t going to fit.”

He carefully didn’t mention the fact that LaFarga would likely be rightfully upset at being kicked out of their quarters after living here for nearly three years now, and that those Captain’s quarters were already occupied with Lantis and - however many people from Autozam were currently his guests, and LaFarga was hardly going to go turf them all out.

Caldina huffed from the doorway, but he kept his eyes on the shelves, hoping she might just - calm down?

Unlikely. It had been a week since he’d told them his plans, and she was only getting more wound up.

Five years in this apartment was long enough he’d actually collected an assortment of miscellaneous ‘stuff’, mixed in with the various bits of equipment from the training he’d done - his crook from the nine months with the herders was tucked in the corner of the windowsill, for one, the end held in place by the remnants of something Zazu had disassembled one of the fairly recent times he’d stayed here and hadn’t managed to put back together yet. But Zazu would be back in a few days, so he could sort those himself.

“But-” Caldina began, and Ascot turned to the bed, picked up an armful of now-too-small clothes, and pushed them at her. Caldina took them automatically, then frowned. “What’m I supposed to do with these?”

“Could you take them to the Wardrobe?” Ascot asked, with half a shrug. “I can’t wear them again, so they should go to someone who will.” He’d kept a few things that didn’t fit just because he couldn’t imagine being without them, but he really didn’t need a bunch of useless trousers and tunics.

“Why can’t you take them yourself?”

“Aren’t you going in today?”

Caldina glared. “Not unless I find out why you’re abandoning me!”

“I’ll still see you every day!” Ascot protested. “I’m not - not leaving the country! I’m going five minutes away where my friends can come out and relax sometimes!”

“You’re all grown up and leaving me!” Caldina insisted, throwing her arms up dramatically - causing an equally dramatic rain of trousers - and then flinging her arms about Ascot.

He sighed and returned the hug, grinning when she started muttering dire things about ‘ridiculously tall nuisances’ against his chest, the top of her head barely level with his shoulder.

What he didn’t say was that he knew Caldina had started avoiding all conversation about children, and families. Ascot wasn’t sure he wanted to live with a newborn - not even Caldina’s, and he really didn’t want to turn around and leave the moment she was pregnant, because that would be far, far worse. Nor did he want ‘well, there’s no room for someone else’ to start being her excuse for avoiding the conversation. This was technically a family suite, and his room would be such a good room for a child to grow up in. He’d loved it here - he hoped they would too, if they ever came into being.

Plus, he’d been thinking about finding his own space for a while now, getting excited at the idea maybe he could have something that was all his, really his, for the first time. And he was really looking forward to being able to hand out with some of his larger friends in the evenings. Sure, they could talk without manifesting, but he wanted to just spend time with them.

He’d been learning how to make things with the Smiths, recently; their version of making which involved taking real materials and shaping them, rather than Clef’s variant of buildings and chairs and everything else made of sheer will-power (and an apparent lack of any understanding of how buildings were meant to work. Presea had dedicated a whole day to all the things about the castle that really should not work and that no one should try to replicate, and that they were apparently trying to fix - only people were so used to the pillars that didn’t actually reach the floors and the windows without any lintels that they kept changing back overnight. At least the whole thing wasn’t floating half a mile in the air for no reason anymore).

The idea of building his own home, just the way he wanted it, where no one could throw him out or say he and his friends didn’t belong ever again? It was exciting!

Not that he’d believed Caldina would change her mind and send him away, not in years, but he’d followed her here. The idea of a place so thoroughly his own was nice in ways he couldn’t describe.

The problem was getting anyone else to believe it.

LaFarga:

LaFarga waited for one of the mornings he Caldina was out earlier than either of them, and then made breakfast - which was a rare occasion, rarer still when he cooked for just the two of them.

Ascot looked down at the plate of food he was offered, and tried not to wince in a way that would be visible. He still took the offered breakfast, of course, though it trapped him at the table to eat.

Instead of accusations or questions, though, LaFarga just looked down at his plate and said gruffly “we could move to larger quarters.”

“…Huh?”

“The three of us, we could all - with space so if - the Captain of the Guard is allowed a space twice this. We could use it, if we wanted.” He looked up, and must have caught the look of sheer confusion on Ascot’s face. “It’s not specific quarters, we don’t have to move in with Lantis and Eagle - but we could have more added on here, or… a house?”

“…I think Caldina likes being in the Castle.”

“She likes you being with us more.” LaFarga looked down, and his cheeks were flushing. “You could have your own door, and living room, and all that. For - privacy. With your - friends.”

Ascot stared at him. “I don’t think a door is going to help Yaris and the others fit in the building?”

“No-” LaFarga shook his head.

“And I think Caldina likes this being her space, really,” Ascot added. “And I already promised to come to dinner at least three days a week, besides seeing everyone at lunch-”

“But if you’re feeling - obligated to leave, or like you might be pushed out - you aren’t. You’re always home with us. And anyone you want to bring to the household is, too.”

“I know?” Ascot said, and stared slightly mournfully at his plate. This conversation was a high price for a home breakfast.

“And you can always come back, if you move out, even if - we can get more space, whatever you want to make you feel comfortable.”

“Thank you, LaFarga.” Ascot’s throat was getting tight, and he swallowed.

“Just - do you really want to move out?” LaFarga asked, and Ascot nodded, as firmly as he could.

“I want to try living in my own place for once. I promise, if I’m unhappy, I’ll come and talk to you about moving back?”

LaFarga looked at him for a long moment, in which Ascot tried to work out how to look determined and certain and all that kind of thing, and hopefully managed to not grimace at least.

“Okay. If you are certain this is what you want?”

“Yes,” Ascot said, firmly as he could, and LaFarga finally turned his attention to eating instead of Ascot.

Clef:

Clef was actually one of the earlier people Ascot had told - he’d figured that Clef would be able to advise him how to go about sorting space and buildings, and if it was even feasible for him to move out.

“The Castle isn’t… uncomfortable for you and your friends, is it?” Clef had asked, in a tone that Ascot couldn’t decipher.

“I mean, sometimes?” He shrugged. “I guess that’s to be expected, though.”

“This place is meant to be home for all Cephirans,” Clef insisted. “If something is happening…”

“Well, there’s only a couple of rooms that Atalante even fits in, and only the great hall would really fit all of us, so - I mean, the grounds have been great! But there’s more of the kitchen gardens now so there’s less free space there, too-”

“Oh.” Clef blinked. “It’s true, I couldn’t find a way of fitting more large spaces into the area we could keep stable when the Castle was first around, but I should see about adding some more now. But I meant people making it uncomfortable?”

“Not really?” Ascot blinked back at him.

“Because if there are, I would like to have a talk with them…”

Ascot shook his head, feeling warm through. “No, I’d just like my own space, where we fit a little better. Physically. I was thinking - there’s a glade no one has taken much interest in, a few minutes walk along the forest road…”

“Oh! Okay, yes, we can certainly get a land grant sorted, you’ve several years assistance around here and you’ve never claimed a housing allowance, so there won’t even be any complicated paperwork. Do you have any ideas for the kinds of spaces your friends would like? I should think Yaris might find an entrance or two on the upper part of the building comfortable - though, as I value my life should Presea ever hear of it, I’ll refer you to her for assistance with the details of design and building. If you wanted to do the construction yourself, she would be happy to teach you, I’m sure.”

“Build it myself?”

“Then if you want to tweak things or make any alterations as time goes on, you can do so yourself, without having to consult anyone - far easier than the process here,” Clef said, voice dry. “You add one little library onto the side of your rooms for a project and ten people start complaining about the ‘lack of structural support’ and ‘making the wards bend weirdly’…”

“I think I’d like to learn that,” Ascot said, turning over the idea in his mind.

Umi:
Umi was, at least, straightforward about it. She found him outside in the gardens, trying to train one of the fruit vines to go up the trellis that had been made for it and not around the tree beside it, which was a delicate ornamental thing with tiny flowers and tinier berries, and not going to bear the weight of the fruit well if the vine got going while wrapped through the trailing branches. He was detangling sections one by one and handing them over to Yaris, who was draping them up the trellis and holding them there, ready for Ascot to come fasten them once he was done with the detangling.

"Hey, Ascot! I hear you're moving," Umi called up, and he waved at her from his stepladder.

"Yes."

"Is anyone being mean to you in the castle? I'll beat them up if they are, you know, then we can get Clef to throw them out."

Ascot tried very hard not to laugh at that. It was too close to what Clef had said. "No one's being mean," he promised, handing a last vine to Yaris to hold with the others as he got off the ladder. With his feet on the ground, he turned to Umi, and smiled. "It's fine. I just want my own space."
Umi looked at him, forehead wrinking as she frowned. "...Well. I guess living with Caldina's probably a bit much, sometimes."

"I've loved living with her and LaFarga," Ascot said, because it was absolutely true - he'd loved the feeling of living with people who cared for him, and wanted to make sure he was well and looked after. "But I'd like a bit more space now. A garden my friends can play in, a house they can fit inside."
For all he meant it, it was getting hard to sound it, he’d repeated his reasons so many times.

"Huh." Umi flopped down onto the wall, smiling now. "Caldina made it sound like you were planning on moving to some tiny cottage in the middle of nowhere, but if it's going to be big enough for your friends-"

"It's going to be a house five minutes walk from the Castle gates!" Ascot protested. "Not the middle of nowhere! And maybe a summoner's school next door - I don't know about that, Clef got excited last week and was talking about me having students, but I like the work helping about the Castle. I don't know I'm ready to teach anyone-"

"Actually, I think you'd be great at it," Umi said, tilting her head at him. "You wouldn't blame anyone for not knowing something, would you? And you're not going to make them write ridiculously long essays for no point, so I bet people would love you as a teacher."

Ascot flushed bright red. “Thanks,” he stammered, and thrust a vine at her. “Here. Could you hold this?”

“Sure!” Umi took it, turning to grin at Yaris. “So, what’re we doing with these?”

Caldina, again:

The day he moved out, just when he was starting to think Caldina was okay with it - she’d seemed grudgingly impressed with the house, anyway - she burst through the door as he was pulling the last of his clothes into a storage gem to carry them over.

“Is it because I make fun of Zazu in the mornings?”

Ascot blinked at her. “What?”

“Your moving out - is it because I make Zazu uncomfortable? If he’s asked you to move- I can go gently on him-”

“Zazu hasn’t asked me to do anything,” Ascot said, slightly bewildered. Caldina and Zazu joked at breakfast, if they were in the same place, but it wasn’t meanspirited, and it never seemed anything that bothered Zazu. He’d told Ascot cheerfully once that it was just like meals with Eagle, and made him feel right at home. Guests, in his experience, didn’t get teased mercilessly about their hair standing on end when they woke up, or forgetting how Cephiran clocks worked again and having to ask if they were late for work or if they had time for breakfast.

“You’re sure? Because-”

“Caldina, I’m not moving because I don’t want to be here,” Ascot said, sitting down on the bed. “I love it here. But I want to try something new for a while.”

“Ugh.” Caldina flopped down beside him. “You really want to?”

“I really do,” he promised.

“Fine. But you have to tell us the moment you’re feeling lonely, you hear?”

Ascot didn’t think he stood much chance of that, but diplomatically said nothing, accepting Caldina’s sideways hug.


Zazu:

“Oh, this is cool,” Zazu said, instead of even managing ‘hello’, as he appeared in the doorway of Ascot’s new home. He was peering up at the tall ceiling of the main hall, high and large enough for Yaris and Atalante to have seperate mezzannines for lounging on with their own doorways out through the walls.

Ascot looked up, and smiled, though Zazu wasn’t going to see it - he was too busy inspecting the room, almost bouncing on his feet.

“It’s so big in here! I reckon I could get the GTO in here and do some proper work on it - you made this place?”

“Yeah,” Ascot said, with a nod.

“Seriously cool,” Zazu told him, sounding heartfelt, and reached out a hand to pull Ascot up from his seat. “Okay then, give me the grand tour of this place.”

Just off the hall was a tall, bright room which Ascot had set up a couple of long tables, and across them was the array of bits and bobs Zazu had left in his rooms. It was large enough that at least one of his friends could be in here helping Zazu, as several of them liked to. “I figured we could work out what furniture you want in here together,” he said, trying to sound casual.

Zazu’s hug was accompanied by a laugh that was very nearly a cackle, at the prospect of his own workshop on Cephiro - and shielded, too, as Ascot told him when he had a chance, he’d had Clef do that - there was no one quite like the Guru when it came to setting up shields, but Ascot could manipulate them to suit Zazu’s needs.

There were guest rooms - of course there were, Caldina would feel insulted by the lack of them if there weren’t, even if she lived a stone’s throw away. But when Ascot got to his own room, with the bed long enough he wasn’t worried his feet were going to fall off the end, he was relieved to hear Zazu saying ‘ah, that’s a lot better than your old bed, more space for me to avoid your elbows, we’re both going to fit comfortably on this one!’

It wasn’t as though they’d done anything but sleep, sharing a bed - well, that and talk, late into the night. But here they didn’t have to, and yet here Zazu set his small bag down on Ascot’s bed anyway, looking about cheerfully.

“This is amazing. Come on, lets go hang out with your friends and you can tell me what Cephiran magic let you build this place.”

Ascot grinned, and followed him back to the hall, feeling entirely at home.