This is a perfect portrayal of grief. Grief that is made even more painful because Zhang Shi has to live in Zhao Yunlan’s body and see his face in the mirror.

He sits on the edge of Yunlan’s bed and misses Xinci, his companion of twenty years, his partner and co-parent. Despite Xinci’s sharp tongue and old-fashioned attitudes, despite years living as his shameful secret, Zhang Shi feels incomplete without him.

I always found relationship between Zhao Xinci and Zhang Shi fascinating and this is such a great way to describe it.


Someone has left these for Yunlan.

Someone who expected him to have to carry on alone.

Well, there goes my heart. *sobs*