Title: By Any Other Name
Fandom: Dear Ladies
Rating: G
Length: 320 words
Summary: Hilda and Evadne have had to come home early from a special occasion.

Evadne entered the living room and sighed.

“Are you still annoyed about us having to come home early?”

“No. Of course not.”

Hilda flicked over the page of her magazine with some violence.

“Hilda, I am sorry!”

Evadne came and sat next to her on the settee.

“Look, I admit I was jealous when the RHS got in touch about a breeder wanting to name a rose after you.”

Hilda was still apparently finding the magazine fascinating. “Were you?”

“And perhaps," said Evadne, "I shouldn’t have described the rose as showy and gaudy.”

Hilda continued to read the magazine, her eyebrows raised high. “I would have described it as a vivid and vibrant crimson myself...”

“Yes.” Evadne shrugged a little. “ And I admit I was a little hasty in describing its scent as… well… overpowering.”

“Hmm…” Hilda forcefully turned over another page.

Evadne shifted awkwardly. “And I accept I really shouldn’t have pointed out the aphid infestation.”

“When one is attractive, one will occasionally attract undesirables.” Hilda casually scanned an article. “No-one knows that better than me.”

Evadne threw up her hands. “But I didn’t realise they’d cancel the entire naming ceremony because of it!”

Hilda glanced up briefly. “It had to be done though. I can’t blame you for that, dear.”

Evadne stared at her. “Well, if you don’t blame me for that, what are you so annoyed about?”

Hilda put the magazine carefully to one side. She straightened her shoulders and held her companion’s gaze.

“Evadne. What I’m annoyed about is you announcing to the chemist—in front of various members of our community—that we’d come home early from the Chelsea Flower Show…”

Hilda looked down.

“...because ‘Dame Hilda’ had developed greenfly.”

“Oh.”

Evadne’s eyes went very round.

“Yes, indeed,” said Hilda.

Evadne smiled weakly.

“You know, I had wondered, dear—why Mrs. Ridgwell discreetly handed me a bar of carbolic soap in a plain brown wrapper.”