Title: A 'Pirates' PS
Fandom: Pirates of Penzance (1983 film)
Rating: G
Length: 387
Author notes: The phrase felicity of unbounded domesticity belongs of course to W.S. Gilbert.
Summary: A Doctor of Divinity reflects on a most peculiar day.

Well, thought Jago Fiddock, D.D. (Doctor of Divinity) as he made his evening cup of cocoa. It had been a most unusual day. He had performed the occasional double wedding before, of course. But this had been his first nonuple one.

He settled himself in his chair with his cup.

There he’d been, knocked up first thing in the morning by nine couples. Eight rather rough ‘gentlemen’ and a sergeant of police—along with their brides: eight enchanting sisters and a female associate of the rough gentlemen. And they had demanded to be married immediately! Dr. Fiddock nodded in approval. So eager to welcome the felicity of unbounded domesticity!

It had taken some doing but he had managed to make the arrangements. He smiled as he recollected the ceremony. The nine brides marching briskly down the aisle, followed by a beaming General Stanley; the grooms waiting en masse before the altar to receive their brides…

Dr. Fiddock winced.

Thankfully the ladies had eschewed any bridesmaids, but the local constabulary had acted as best men and it had been rather a crowd.

But it had been a charming ceremony all in all (though the dance routine during Guide Me, O Thou Great Redeemer had perhaps been in slightly poor taste) and he had been delighted to unite the nine couples in holy matrimony.

Well, he thought it had been nine couples... He smiled weakly. It had been quite a scrum at the altar rails and there was a possibility he’d married two of the best men as well. But what the bishop didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him and Constables Wilkins and Tomlinson had seemed perfectly content about the situation.

Dr. Fiddock took a calming sip of his cocoa.

The wedding breakfast had been full of incident as well. General Stanley had rattled through his thanks and good wishes at truly breathtaking speed, the grooms and the best men had given their speeches in perfect unison, and the brides had kept forming spontaneous tableaux round the wedding cake.

And then afterwards, all of the newly-married couples had rushed outside to have a bouquet and sword fight.

While singing.

Dr. Fiddock shook his head in utter bewilderment.

Still, everyone had seemed happy. And in these situations…

He took another sip of his cocoa.

...a happy ending is always important.