Title: No, A Thousand Times, No!
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Rating: G
Length: 283
Summary: There are some plans that no-one is going to allow to happen.

Anthea was checking the reception of the recently installed surveillance equipment in the main room at 221B Baker Street.  Her attention was caught as she heard John’s raised voice.

“No!”

“But..”

“I said, No!’”

“It wouldn’t take long.”

“Definitely not!”

Nothing unusual there then.

“Ple-e-ease!”

That was unusual – Sherlock very rarely resorted to any form of polite convention.  Anthea waved her hand to attract Mycroft’s attention.

“It’s illegal, it’s immoral and Mrs Hudson will have a fit.”

“I think you’ll find that you’re mistaken there.”

“Actually, borrowing an eight foot python from the zoo without their express permission would be illegal.”

Mycroft and Anthea both took their phones out, ready to send urgent texts.  Mycroft hastily drafted a message to the Director of ZSL in Regent’s Park, urging additional security for the reptile house.

“Possibly, but you can’t claim it’s immoral.”

“You don’t know what effect its sudden abduction will have on the snake.”

“Not it, she!  I’m sure she’ll be fine.  And Mrs Hudson needn’t know.”

“And how exactly do you plan on keeping it from her?  It, sorry, she, isn’t going to be easy to hide.”

At that moment the door opened and Mrs Hudson walked in.  “What precisely are you planning to hide, Sherlock dear?”

John grinned and said, “An eight foot python.  Female apparently.”

Words weren’t necessary; Mrs Hudson’s look was sufficient to make Sherlock sigh and say, “All right, I’ll find another way to solve it.”

Mycroft looked across at Anthea and raised his eyebrows.

“A text to Mrs H, apparently from John Watson’s phone, saying ‘Your presence needed urgently’,” Anthea explained.  “As you have often said, sir, it’s always best to keep a potentially difficult situation contained.”