Title: Stars and Stripes Not So Grand
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Avengers
Character/Pairing: Steve, Tony, Ensemble
Rating: G/K
Challenge: #112: Stripes
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 670
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Marvel Comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission.



He stares at the article of clothing in utter disgust. His upper lip pulls back in a silent snarl as anger fills his blue eyes.

"Uh oh."

"What's he losing it over?"

"What's his problem?"

"Don't you see?"

"I knew this was a mistake."

"No, it's not. He'll be fine. He's Captain America."

"Hey, Cap, why don't we -- "

Steve avoids Natasha's outreached hand as he gestures wildly to the pair of shorts. "This is a disgrace!" he cries where all the shoppers can hear. He is completely unaware of their stares, just as he is of his team mates squirming in discomfort and embarrassment.

"Look away," Tony orders the shoppers and workers alike, "unless you would like this entire store, and your jobs, to become the latest of my possessions." The public scampers away, but Steve isn't done.

"How can do this?" he demands. "Who is responsible for this outrage? Our forefathers are surely turning in their graves!"

"Steve . . . "

"You! You, ma'am! You must not purchase that clothing! In fact, all of these items must be removed from the shelves immediately and discarded in fire! You do not disgrace the American flag like this! There is a law forbidding the disgrace of our national flag -- "

"Hum, actually, Cap, I think that's only if it touches the ground . . . "

"And you do not think this is going to touch the ground? Who would wear such?" He turns again to the buxom blonde who was either too bold or too dumb to stay with the rest of the shoppers in the back of the store. Uncharacteristically rude, Steve yanks the clothing from her and slams it back onto the shelf. "I told you, ma'am, you do not wish to buy that. No lady would ever wear such a disgracing image of our flag!"

Taking the blonde's arm, Tony sweeps her away.

Bruce hangs his head and rubs his temples. "Easy, boy," Clint says reassuringly, patting his shoulder. "Let's move on."

"How can you say that?! How can any of you just disregard this disgrace so callously?! I have been disappointed in our nation's people since the day I awoke from my coma, but this -- this is far too far over the line! Who is responsible for this?" Clint steers Bruce away from the scene as Steve yanks handfuls of clothing off of the shelves and shakes them. "I demand to see the manager!"

"Ease up, big fella," Tony calls. "I'll just buy the place. Then we can stick to what you want them to sell for people to wear." His voice drops to a grumble. "Not that any of what you deem fashion will actually sell."

"I still say there should be a law against it!"

"Yeah, well," Natasha speaks finally, "there should be a law about me being stupid enough to go out with you people in public! I knew this was going to be a disaster, but I didn't expect it to be caused by you, Steve!" She stalks off, fuming.

Steve blinks in her wake. "But . . . But . . . How can you not be angered or at least dismayed at how our country is being treated? This is the most ridiculous use of our grand flag that I have seen to date! How can any of you not be upset by this?"

"Steve," Tony calls his name while walking up to him. Thor brushes pass him, shaking his head and following Natasha. "Buddy." Tony passes several more Avengers until at last he reaches Cap's side. He throws an arm around his shoulder. "It's just swimsuits! It may be tasteless, but it's far from being illegal."

"But that's exactly the problem! The stars and stripes of our grand national flag should never have been made to simply adorn a body at the beach! And there is such little fabric! What do they think these swimsuits are actually going to cover?"

Even Tony hangs his head, defeated. Sometimes, there's just no arguing with their Captain.

The End