Title: Memorandum to self for future Christmas cakes
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Rating: G
Length: 764
Summary: Sherlock decides to make a Christmas cake

Stage 1 – Do not inform anyone of your plans

“Sherlock, are you sure you can cope?” Mycroft said on learning that his younger brother planned to surprise his new boyfriend with a homemade cake.

“How hard can it be?  It’s the same as a chemistry experiment, follow the instructions and the result is guaranteed.”

“May I remind you that the problems come because you fail to follow the instructions.  Why are you making Stanley a cake anyway?”

“His gran died last Christmas and he still misses her.  So I thought I’d make a cake to remind him of all the good Christmases he had with her.  She always made a cake.”

“I’ll have Fortnum & Mason’s on speed dial for Christmas Eve then!”

Sherlock hmphed and stalked away from his brother.


Stage 2 – If you go out while the cake is in the oven, ensure you are back in time

Sherlock was feeling very pleased with himself when he returned to Baker Street; there had been a couple of minor points, neither of the crucial but irritating nevertheless, and he had managed to prove them both.  He was greeted by Mrs Hudson, who was clearly not pleased with him.

“What exactly is this?” she asked, as she held out a black block of something.

“Aah!”

“Yes, indeed!  It’s a good job that nice Inspector Lestrade put new batteries in the smoke alarm last week, or it wouldn’t just have been your baking that had become a burnt offering.”

Sherlock could feel what, in a lesser mortal, might be termed panic coming on.  The cake had taken him far longer than he had expected and now he was going to have to repeat the whole process.  Luckily Mrs Hudson decided to take pity on him.

“Would you like me to make you a cake?” she asked.  “At least that way there’s one less opportunity for you to set fire to the flat.”


Stage 3 – It’s easier to roll marzipan if you have a rolling pin

“What exactly are you doing?” Greg Lestrade asked Sherlock as he walked into the kitchen of 221B.

“I am marzipanning a Christmas cake,” Sherlock replied.  “What does it look like?”

“I can see a cake, and I can see the marzipan.  I’m just not sure what you’re doing with it.”

“I’m flattening it, before applying it to the cake.”

“Don’t you have a rolling pin?”

“If I had a rolling pin, do you think I would be squashing the stuff with my hands?”

“Can’t you borrow one from Mrs Hudson?”  Greg asked and then when Sherlock looked sheepish added, “You’ve upset her again, haven’t you?”

“It’s more a case that she had to replace the one I borrowed last time and I doubt she’d lend another one to me,” Sherlock admitted.

“You could use anything round and with sufficient weight, a bottle would do.”

Sherlock grinned.  “Excellent idea.  If we try out a number I can see which works the best.”

“We?” Greg looked doubtful.

“Of course.  You don’t think I can do it all by myself.”


Stage 4 – Don’t try to recreate old memories, create new ones instead

DI Stanley Hopkins arrived at 221B shortly after four o’clock on Christmas Day.  He hadn’t minded working that morning, with no family of his own he was happy to give someone else the chance to enjoy the day with their family.

The Christmas cake was in pride of place in the middle of the dining table.

“That’s,” Stanley paused looking for the right word, “Impressive.”

“It’s for you,” Sherlock said.

“Thank you.  I’ve not seen one decorated like that before.”

“It’s a snow scene,” Sherlock tried not to sound hurt.

“Ye-es.  Gran’s snow scenes were on top of the cake.  This one seems to have suffered an avalanche.”

“That’s because I didn’t make the icing thick enough to start with and it slid off.”

“You made it?”  Stanley looked at Sherlock.  “You made it for me?”

“I wanted to do something that would remind you of your gran in a happy way.”

“You made the whole cake?”

“Well, no, Mrs Hudson baked the cake – there was a minor accident with the one I made.  But I marzipanned and iced it.”

Stanley flung his arms round Sherlock and hugged him.  “Thank you so much.”

“Does it give you happy Christmas memories of your gran?”

Stanley laughed.  “No.  Gran would have been horrified if her cake had turned out like that.”  He smiled at Sherlock’s dejected expression.  “But hopefully, instead, it’s going to be one of many happy memories of Christmases with you.”