Title: Costellodrome
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: NC-17
Length: 532 words
Content notes: Non-consensual sex, crack pairing. Rhys/Suzie.
Author notes: Crack PWP. Takes place after the events of "They Keep Killing Suzie." For au_bingo and comment_fic .
Summary: Suzie uses her built-in technology to take revenge on Gwen.



Rhys Williams was watching Strictly Come Dancing on television. Before the first routine of the night, a triangle flashed on the screen.

Rhys blinked his eyes. “What in the devil?”

After the triangle blinked on the screen, Suzie Costello appeared in front of him.

“She replaced me.”

“Who are you? And who replaced who? I haven’t got time for this, woman. I’m trying to watch Strictly Come Dancing.”

“Your wife. Your wife replaced me.”

“Who are you?”

“My name’s Suzie, but it’s not important. I used to work with your wife, but I killed myself. My boss replaced me with her. And now no one misses me. They didn’t give me a wake, a funeral, nothing. They forgot about me.”

Rhys stared at Suzie.

“How I got here’s not important as well. I had a private surgeon sew some things in my body before I died. I found this Silurian manipulator when I was on holiday. The guy was all too happy to sew it in my palm.”

Suzie raised her right palm. A red triangle flashed inside of it.

“I think it came from some war from the future. Some alien stole it and left it on Earth 100 or so years too early. It’s very powerful, isn’t it?”

Rhys continued staring at Suzie.

“Oh, I forgot. It also hypnotizes people. Sorry about that. Take off your pants. Show me your cock.”

Rhys did as he was told.

“If Gwen bloody Cooper’s going to replace me at work, I may as well be Suzie Costello the homemaker. And don’t good homemakers give their husbands blowjobs?”

“Yes, Suzie.” Rhys’ voice was robotic, devoid of any emotion.

Suzie grinned. "War's on, Gwen Cooper."

Suzie spread Rhys’ legs. She adjusted his cock so it wasn’t tangled up in his briefs. Her tongue darted out of her mouth. With the tip of her tongue Suzie licked Rhys’ cock, going up and down his shaft and circling the tip of his head. With her right hand she stroked Rhys until he was erect.

Suzie opened her mouth and sucked Rhys’ cock. Gradually she took more and more of Rhys in her mouth until she couldn’t take any more. The hand she used to stroke Rhys ticked and lightly stroked his balls.

Rhys’ face was red, and he was reacting to the blowjob by making faces, but he didn’t moan.

Rhys came in Suzie’s mouth. She swallowed his come and disappeared.

Rhys came out of his trance. Strictly Come Dancing was back on television. He looked at his pants and saw his cock. It was still wet from Suzie’s saliva. Rhys felt as if he had just come, but his hands were clean. There was no trace of ejaculate anywhere.

“What the hell? Don’t tell me I wanked off to Strictly Come Dancing.”

Rhys sighed. He got up, put his cock in his briefs, zipped up his pants, and resumed watching Strictly Come Dancing.

After a performer was interviewed about his performance with his partner, the triangle flashed on screen again.

“I’ll be back,” Suzie said. “As long as your bloody wife has my job, you’re mine.”

Rhys turned off the TV. “I…think it’s time for bed. Goodnight, telly.”