Title: Of Tigers, Ferrets, Bears, and Rings
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: G
Length: ~600 words
Content notes: for the "breakfast" challenge. Set in my HIMYM AU where Charles is bi!Ted, Erik is gay!Barney, and Lorna is Erik's daughter from that one time he slept with a woman to see what all the fuss was about. This fic takes place a couple weeks after the end of Charles is Totally (Not) the Mother.
Badge notes: counts toward the crossover badge
Summary: Charles moves in with Erik and Lorna.



Charles waits until Erik is brushing his teeth before bed that first night after Charles moves in to say, "You know, I read the lease, and we could get a dog. I bet Lorna would like that."

Erik spits into the sink. "I hate dogs," he says. "I want a ferret."

"'Exotic' pets are explicitly forbidden in the lease though," Charles says. "I'm pretty sure ferrets count, and I think they're still illegal in New York City anyway."

"So?" Erik says, and spends the next ten minutes talking about how awesome ferrets are (Charles doubts Erik has ever met a ferret outside of Beastmaster, which he doubts is an accurate portrayal).

*

In the morning, Charles decides to enlist Lorna in his quest for a dog.

"Lorna, how would you like to have a puppy?" he asks her. "Thank you, dear," he adds, when she hands him a bowl of cereal.

"I want a bear," Lorna answers, after some consideration.

"Bears are stupid," Erik says. "Let's get a tiger."

"But I'm allergic to cats," Charles points out. "How about a dog?"

*

He's fighting a losing battle here, that much is obvious as he listens to father and daughter debate the merits of alligators versus cobras as pets (Erik thinks an alligator would be just the thing, while Lorna thinks cobras could spit poison at burglars. Charles' declaration that dogs can bite burglars goes ignored).

Charles is so preoccupied that he doesn't even notice the ring in among his little red-and-orange shaped O's, until he bites down on it.

"Ow," he says, and spits it out of his mouth and onto his palm. For just a split second he thinks it's some trinket, bottom of the cereal box prize - but it's way too dense to be plastic. "Oh, Erik," Charles breathes. "It's beautiful."

And it is, a thick platinum band with a double helix engraved all around it.

Charles swallows around the lump in his throat and looks up from the ring to Erik - who is glaring at Lorna.

"I thought I told you to wait until I went to work to give him that," Erik complains.

"...Wait, what?" Charles says. "Why couldn't you give it to me yourself?"

"I thought you could get the crying out of the way while I'm gone so I wouldn't have to deal with it," Erik says to him, like this is a totally reasonable sentiment or something.

"First of all, I'm not going to cry," Charles begins, blinking rapidly. Then he happens to notice Lorna staring at him intently. "What?"

"Did you break your tooth?" she asks eagerly. "Are you going to get a filling?"

Lorna has a thing about fillings. Erik's had a running feud with the neighbor across the hall for two years now because when she was four, Lorna pulled all his fillings out with her power. Charles is willing to concede that 'She was just playing, chill out,' probably wasn't the best response on Erik's part, but that Jameson guy really has been a huge asshole about the whole situation.

"No and no," Charles says. "You know, it's really very nice that there's half of a romantic soul between the two of you."

*

Five minutes later, Charles is putting the breakfast dishes into the sink when Erik asks, in the sort of casual way that means his, like, entire life's happiness depends on the answer, "So, you like it?"

And that's when Charles bursts into tears.

Erik sighs, but when Charles suggests they could send Lorna over for a playdate at Azazel and Raven's house, he's quick enough to call off work.