Title: Mine Mine Mine!
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: PG
Length: 637
Characters: Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones
Summary: Jack's in a bit of trouble after forgetting to take Ianto to an appointment. Ianto gets even using his creative prowess.
Content notes: Pure crack...recommend against eating and drinking while reading this one
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing for a short bit. Might be a bit of a twisted crossover if you squint right. E-cookies to the person who gets the other fandom.
Author notes: written for Hot Water challenge at fan_flashworks. Also filled the hc_bingo square 'wings'.

Mine Mine Mine!


Jack knew Ianto would be cross with him, but he never thought he'd be this cross. Time had simply got away from him and a Weevil used his mobile as a chew toy. In Ianto's defense he had neglected to pick his lover up for a follow up visit with his surgeon and now the recovering Welshman had a small set back in his healing as he tried to maneuver himself around Cardiff. Two extra weeks of taking it easy and being confined to his flat.



It was understandable Ianto was peeved, but then again the stubborn man did not reach out to anyone for help. Jack knew better to voice this sentiment because it would only further infuriate his lover, more so than the proof he held in his hands; Ianto's latest installment into the adventures of Captain Swan Rocket which was titled: Captain Swan Rocket And the Lost Wings.



The title intertwined with Jack's knowledge of how twisted Ianto's mind could get made the Captain wince and cross his legs, fearful for the manner the story's hero would lose his precious wings.



The story went something like this:

---------------



It was just like any other day with Captain Swan Rocket strutting around, proudly displaying his wings. The wind blowing through the airy wings always made the Captain stand tall and proud with an infectious smile on his smug face.



Little did our intrepid captain know that his existence was about to horrifically change in the cruelest way.



The end of a long day nearing and the Captain was doing what he did best, standing on roofs, brooding about something inconsequential when suddenly he felt a violent tugging on one of his wings followed by a squawk that sounded a whole lot like the word: mine.



Jack...I mean Captain Swan Rocket looked down and saw a large seagull trying to stake claim to his wings. "Not yours. Mine!" The captain explained as he looked down at the winged creature who was now standing and tilting its head, looking at the Captain with confusion.



"Mine. Mine. Mine." The creature chirped, growing more aggressive with each mine declaration.



"No mine." Swan Rocket held himself protectively.



"Mine! Mine! Mine!" The seagull chanted as its eyes began to glow an eerie hue of crimson before they turned the darkest shade of night.



Suddenly, sixty-nine seagulls swarmed around the captain, trapping him as their prisoner. Then in unison they began their creepy 'mine' chant and their small beady eyes all locked in on their target: the now quivering wings of Captain Swan Rocket.



"Mine." The birds extended their wings and stood wing to wing.



"Mine. Mine." Now they moved in a circle around the Captain menacingly as their eyes glowed brighter and brighter until the Captain could see no more.



Once the light subsided the true nature of the demonic birds was revealed, they had merged into one large ten foot seagull with two sets of wings.



"Mine!" It squawked one last time. The power of its call shook the surrounding area.



The Captain looked down and saw the bird was right, it had claimed his wings as it's own.



Captain Swan Rocket would fly no more. He would now be known as Captain Rocket, but his rocket was not so impressive anymore. The loss of the wings shrunk the once huge rocket to a third of its normal size.



-----

Jack shook his head and dropped the papers back on the table. He knew he'd have to make it up to Ianto in a big way and was glad that Ianto vented his frustrations in a creative outlet instead of on him.



Ianto was in for a day of pampering when he woke up. Jack just had to hope it was enough and doubled checked to make sure his own rocket was still intact.