Title: Work Out
Fandom: Mass Effect
Pairing: Female Shepard/Kaidan Alenko
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1252
Author notes: Started writing this ages ago and never finished, but “Health and Fitness” challenge fits even better so I finally decided to clean it up. Unbetaed and silly.
Summary: “I have no idea what's going on, but I approve the hell out of it!”



“I have no idea what's going on, but I approve the hell out of it!” Commander Shepard declared, doing a double take after exiting the elevator in the shuttle bay.

“I am Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite place on the Normandy,” she said after a moment.

Her announcement was met with laughter from her crew, for obvious reason, even though all eyes that had turned to her when she entered the bay were back on the... spectacle.

“Okay, yeah, I am liking the show, but what?” she repeated, eyes glued on the display in front of her.

James doing chin-ups was nothing new. James doing chin-ups without a shirt was new, but still, yes, she could see that. Not that she was complaining. Kaidan, shirtless, doing chin-ups was... okay, a damn fine view. Sweat making the muscles in his chest glisten, droplets travelling down his abs... she yanked her eyes back up.

“I believe they are engaging in a ritual battle to prove their manhood,” Liara explained from her perch by the crates.

“Uh-huh. And I wasn't told because...?”

“Do not worry, I am recording this,” EDI informed her.

“Why would you care?”

“I am learning about aesthetics,” the AI replied.

“Good start,” Shepard said, nodding approvingly.

“Do I even want to know?” Joker asked through the intercom.

“Probably not,” Sam said. “Although my enjoyment is also, of course, purely... aesthetic.”

“Mine isn't,” Steve muttered from behind them. Shepard wasn't sure whether she was meant to hear it or not, but had to agree. Hers really, really wasn't.

Damn but the sight took her back... While in hospital, Kaidan's injuries had made sure even his naked upper body didn't lead her thoughts astray, but this, here? She feared she'd start drooling. The major seemed to be in an even better condition than he had been when they first met.

“So, is it an endurance thing, or are we scoring them for looks?” she asked.

“Wanna join us, Lola?” James asked loudly, causing Kaidan to break in his rhythm. Apparently he hadn't even noticed she came in.

“Don't give me ideas, Lieutenant,” she replied. The visual was... distracting. But seeing that she hadn't managed to even talk Kaidan back into her bunk, thinking about threesomes was probably a bit premature.

She stalked closer, stripping off her hoodie as she walked, to catcalls and whistles behind her. She was wearing a black N7 tank top under it, so she couldn't quite understand the reaction. She assumed position next to the men, and jumped up to reach the pipe they were using for the purpose.

“Damn, Lola,” James muttered, without stopping. Kaidan had closed his eyes.

Shepard knew she couldn't hope to match the upper body strength of the men, but she had been a soldier for a decade, she could give them a run for their credits. She had less mass to lift. Also, the Cerberus implants that had aided her Lazarus act didn't hurt in the strength and endurance department – she had been using rifles that should by rights break human bones if shot standing up, and had hardly broken sweat.

She was sweating now, and wished she had taken the time to get a scarf or something around her head. Maybe Kaidan had the right idea after all, she thought, blinking sweat from her eyes.

“Holy fuck!” Joker's voice exclaimed suddenly.

“You don't appreciate the live feed?” EDI asked, and managed to sound very innocent. Apparently the AI had decided the pilot was missing out.

“Oh, I'm 'appreciating' it all right,” he muttered.

“Get me a copy of the tape,” James told EDI with a grin in his voice.

Kaidan seemed to be in pain. There could be many reasons for it, but Shepard wanted to believe he was jealous. He had said there was no one else... and, yeah, when she thought about it, she supposed her sweaty, muscled upper body might appeal to someone's... aesthetic eye.

“Me too,” Sam said.

“We'll have a viewing party,” Garrus said with a definite leer.

“I'm in,” Steve joined in. “I'll bring the tequila.”

“Just as long as you don't invite Allers,” Shepard said, slightly breathlessly.

“Getting tired, Lola?” James asked, without an ounce of worry.

“Distracted, more like,” she leered back but her eyes were decidedly not on the Lieutenant. Kaidan opened his eyes just in time to meet hers, and Shepard didn't really want to consider what was showing in her gaze.

She had waited almost a year (well, more, if you counted the time she spent dead or otherwise indisposed, but as she had not been conscious, she didn't) for a chance to get sweaty with the man, without pesky armour in the way, and this was closer than she'd been during all that time. Kaidan's returning gaze was, in a word, smouldering.

“Winner gets to shower in the captain's quarters?” she asked, smiling sweetly.

“That's a damn fine shower, I can tell you, boys,” Sam said, smugly.

Now James faltered in the middle of a pull. It was hard to tell whether the flush on his face came from the exertion or something else.

He recovered fast. “EDI, is there a recording of that?”

“Uh, creepy much?” Sam said, at the same time as Shepard assured them that there were no cameras in her shower.

“In that case...” Kaidan said, and with a sudden flash of blue James was flat on his ass on the floor.

“Hey! That's cheating!”

“All's fair in love and war,” Kaidan muttered, meeting Shepard's eyes.

“Back scrubber was not included in the deal,” Shepard said, voice low, meeting Kaidan's burning gaze with her own.

“No?” he asked, innocently. “What would it take to get that?”

“Would you still have stamina left to take advantage of such an offer?” Shepard muttered, the teasing line definitely meant for his ears only.

“Want to find out?” he muttered back.

The fire in his eyes made her burn, too. She wanted him so bad at the moment, hell, every moment, but now the want was very insistently physical.

“What if I win?” she asked, letting the desire be heard in her voice.

“You said it, a shower in captain's quarters,” Kaidan replied, hardly out of breath.

“Will the loser wash my back?” she asked, smirking.

“Well, technically that would be James.”

Shepard pretended to think it over. “I could live with that.”

Kaidan swallowed. “I'm not sure I could,” he said, serious now.

“Then I suppose we have to avoid it,” she said, finishing her final chin-up, then dropping gracefully on the floor.

Kaidan made a few more pulls, eyes locked with hers, before dropping down next to her. There were sounds – talking, shouting – all around them, but Shepard couldn't concentrate on it long enough for any of it to make sense. Her body was screaming after the abuse, but also humming from the intensity of their shared looks.

“Coming?” she asked.

“After you,” he murmured.

“You always were gentlemanly like that.”

They walked towards the elevator without taking their eyes off each other. Last thing she heard before the door closed was a plaintive “What the hell just happened?” from James, and Cortez promising: “I'll explain when you're older.”