Title: Placebo
Fandom: Doc Martin
Rating: G
Length: 367
Content notes: Tag to Episode 2 of Season 3.
Author notes: Also fits the 'not what it looks like' and 'borrowed title' (from the eponymous Placebo album) challenges.
Summary: “Sit down? Sit down?! You’ve given my daughter illegal drugs and you want me to - ”

“- and I’m telling you now, if any harm’s come to my Mandie from you giving her these weird medicines, I will rip your head off!” Diminutive though she was, the woman standing opposite Martin’s desk looked fully capable of carrying out her shouted threat.

“Sit down, Mrs Jordan,” he said curtly.

“Sit down? Sit down?! You’ve given my daughter illegal drugs and you want me to - ”

“They’re not illegal drugs!” he snapped, cutting across the crescendo. “They’re peppermints.”

Mrs Jordan glared at him for a second, then the words sank in and she seemed to visibly deflate.

“Peppermints?” she repeated blankly.

“Yes, peppermints! I presume you’re familiar with them? Small white sweets, mint flavour? Now, sit down.”

She collapsed into the chair next to her. “But… why?”

“Your daughter was worried that she was… ah…” he hesitated, embarrassed, then continued, “developing too slowly, and had already put her health at risk once over the matter. By giving her what she believes to be actual medicine, I hope to put an end to any such attempts, and ensure she gives her body time to develop on its own. I trust this meets with your approval?”

Mrs Jordan nodded slowly, still looking dazed. “Yes, of course…”

“Good. Don’t tell Mandie, and make her eat well and exercise. See if anyone has been teasing or bullying her, that’s often at the root of cases like this. Now, if that’s all, I do have patients with actual medical complaints waiting.”

He rose to his feet and walked over to the door, but she remained seated. He gave her a few seconds. When she didn’t move, simply staring at him, he added with great finality, “Goodbye, Mrs Jordan!”

“Oh, yes,” she said, jumping to her feet. “I’m sorry, doc - and I’m sorry I yelled at you before.” She gave him a curious look as he held the door open for her. “Thank you for what you’ve done for Mandie; it’s really kind, and I’d never have believed it of you!”

With that, she was gone. Martin shot a perplexed look at her retreating figure, then shook himself. No time to wonder what she’d meant by that.

“Next patient, please!”