Title: Zombie Days Are Here Again
Challenge #66: Z
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: G
Length: 670 words
Summary: Alien zombies have come to Cardiff, luckily Torchwood is ready.
Author's Note: Also written for consci_fan_mo

"Zombies." Tosh scowled at the monitor. "How are we going to hide the fact that Cardiff is being invaded by alien zombies?"

"There's only the ten so far, that's hardly an invasion. And besides, this is Wales, the fact that there's mindless zombies wandering about might not be that noticeable," Jack joked, eliciting a shout of dismay from Gwen.

"Oi! People are going to notice naked zombies wandering about, Jack. Even in Cardiff. Especially since they have purple hair, wings, and tails."

"Actually, you're all wrong," Owen announced as he entered, pulling off his gloves and gown. "The calling them zombies part, I mean. That would imply they'd been alive at some point and reanimated. According to the autopsy I just finished on the one the weevil munched on, that's not what we're dealing with here."

"And what are we dealing with here, Owen?" Jack asked.

"Now that is something I can't tell you, but what I can say is that these creatures are unlike any species, alien or otherwise, I've ever studied. There's no respiratory system, no circulatory system." Owen shrugged as he tossed his balled up gloves in the bin. "They are biological and do appear to be mindless but I can't make heads or tails of how their biology could actually function. In fact, I'd say they were never actually alive. They just... are."

"Technically, for these creatures to be zombies they would not only have to be formerly deceased and then reanimated into a mindless automatons, but they also must be acting under a force that was supernatural or malevolent in origin. There doesn't seem to be any controlling entity here. They're just walking around. Slowly."

"So you're implying that maybe they're just looking for something to do?" Jack grinned widely. "I can think of a few thing to suggest."

"Jack!" the entire team chided him in unison.

"You guys," he shook his head, "Always assuming you know what I'm thinking."

"Only because we know you, Jack," Owen said.

Instead of refuting anything, Jack simply pointing to the footage of the zombies they'd collected earlier. "Those aren't aimless movements. Watch carefully, there's a pattern." Owen, Tosh, Gwen and Ianto all leaned in for a better look. When the only response is a polite 'hrm' from Ianto Jack continued, "They're following the traffic lights. They seem attracted to the colour red. Tosh, do you think you could probably jerry rig a large laser pointer? We could use it to lead them to a place we can contain them away from the general populous."

"Something like that shouldn't be too hard," Tosh murmured, already moving back to her desk to begin.

"What are we going to do with them once we catch them though, Jack?" Ianto asked. "Should I prepare cells for them?"

"What else could we do with them?" Gwen asked.

"We'll house them in the cells for the short term. Thanks, Ianto, that would be great," Jack said. "I wonder if they can fly? What do you think, Owen?"

"Their bone structure is similar to birds so I suppose it's possible."

Jack grinned. "Excellent. I'm thinking a little training, maybe some body paint and if you add in a carefully planned light show.... I have to make some calls." He turned abruptly and headed to his office, pausing in the doorway to add, "Let me know when you have everything ready, Tosh. It's time to renew my acquaintance with the folks at Cirque du Soleil. I've missed that kind of flexibility; it's been too long, far too long."

Gwen turned to Owen. "Cirque du Soleil?"

"Don't ask."

"But he wants to-"

"Gwen, trust me. Don't ask."

"But, how? I mean, alien not-zombies and Cirque du Soleil. And.... flexibility? What"

"Do you really want the answer to," Owen waved his hand about, "any of that?"

Just then Jack's voice drifted out of his office, "Put them on zambonis! The crowds will eat it up!"

Gwen turned to Owen and shook her head. "No, no I do not."