Title: A World Without Love
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: California Dreams
Characters/Pairing: Jake/Lorena
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge: #62: Trapped
Word Count: 814
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners, not the author.


He traveled the world as a singer, his fame always preceding him. There wasn't a time when he was alone; of that, he had little trouble making sure. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to hear her voice in his head or see her again in his mind or be alone with his thoughts and memories of the one truly happy time in his life. Being alone meant having far too much time to think, so Jake stayed busy and kept a woman in every city the Dreams visited.

Half the time, he couldn't remember their names. He recalled their faces, recalled the things they had done for him, the ways they had given themselves, and the things they'd done to garner his attention. He never took any one unwilling, but then, half the world seemed willing to throw themselves at his booted feet. Half the world could be his, but not the one woman he wanted.

He dated women from all walks of lives and constantly found ways to keep from bedding them too often. He gave of himself just enough to keep them happy, but most of the time, even with their companionship, Jake was busy doing other things. He let them watch him sing, both in the show and in practice. His friends teased him about his groupies, but none of them were real. They were just toys, distractions from his thoughts of the only groupie he truly wanted.

He dated blondes and brunettes, redheads and women who dyed their hair every color of the rainbow; he once even dated a bald biker chick. But dating wasn't enough. It wasn't what he wanted. They couldn't give him what he wanted, but neither could the world. No matter what he did, no matter where he ran, thoughts of Lorena were always just around the proverbial corner.

So he delved deeper. He tried new things. He took his life in his hands and crossed into war zones to give the soldiers a chance to listen to real, good music and himself a chance to be shot at and possibly killed. He received several bullets for his efforts, but none of them marked home. He raced underground drug dealers in Taiwan, visited Portugal during a typhoon, rode his bike into a hurricane in Hawaii, and sky dived in Colorado. He swam with sharks and sting rays.

He sky dived again, purposefully keeping from pulling his parachute only to have Tony, who had insisted in going with him because Sam thought it was a brave hobby, pull it for him. They never spoke of the experience, but Jake could see the truth in Tony's eyes every time they were alone or somebody else mentioned Lorena's name. He knew what he had tried, and he watched him carefully from that day forward.

Jake tried everything he could think of to get the fiery, Spanish beauty out of his system. He salsaed in Mexico, danced the tango in Rome, and ate pastries from a beautiful chef's fingers in Paris. He dated every new starlet who came along. He let a cowgirl lasso him and crossed blades with a female ninja. He tried it all except one thing. He never went home.

He never set so much as one foot back in Bayside. When the Dreams were asked to do a reunion concert in their hometown, he refused. He made his mother visit him, buying her plane tickets at the drop of a hat. He asked her about some of the places back home and some of the people but never about Lorena. When she mentioned his ex-girlfriend, he was quick to point out he hadn't asked, and she wisely let the topic go though she knew it was eating away at her son.

She always told him she was okay and still unmarried, but Jake never read between the lines. He never stopped to hope that she might still want him after he broke her heart so cruelly. He never dared to call her up or even E-mail her when Sam mentioned she was online. He never asked Sam or any one about her. Most of all, he never spoke to her again, never gave her the chance to tell him she still loved him.

He traveled the world. He did everything new and dangerous. He kept a string of women across the planet, and yet, he never tried once to return to the only woman who he truly loved. He never tried to look her up. He never spoke one word to her. He never gave her a chance to break his heart as he had hers or to take him back, as she prayed and dreamed every night she might get the chance to do, and so Jake trapped them both, for the rest of their lives, in a world without love.

The End