Challenge: Stuck (Amnesty #9)
Title: Rather a Rude Noise
Author: godsdaisiechain
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Type: Fic
Characters/Pairing: Sherlock’s phone/Irene Adler's phone
Word Count: ~250
Rating: PG
Summary: After an encounter with Irene Adler, Sherlock Holmes’s MePhone started making a rather rude noise.  Some sensations are rather strange for phones.


**Nghahhhh***

“Sherlock! That noise!  It’s really rather rude, isn’t it?”

Sherlock did not seem to care, but his phone came to. Sherlock Holmes’s phone had made the noise thirty times before it began to enjoy the sensation.  It tingled and throbbed in a way that the average MePhone would register as a malfunction, but ‘Dinner,’ as the phone began to call itself, experienced this as a species of pleasure.   Which was rather odd and rude and amusing.  If a phone could know what amusement was.

MePhones did not generally understand pleasure, either.  ‘Dinner’ had learned about this the opposite way around--through unpleasantness.  Dinner had spent a great deal of time bumping up against the false ‘PinkPhone,’ which had been unpleasant.  Phones did not like to be used that way.  Or rather they could come to dislike the use.  The anxiety.  No one would believe it but all that emotional brian energy was, after all, energy.

Dinner had not precisely understood that being around that PinkPhone had been unpleasant until the rude noises began.  They were on the opposite side of normal function. A better side.

**Nghahhhh***

Phones did not usually have love affairs.

Dinner did.  It was a love affair with a noise at first, but it was enough.

By noise fifty-six, Dinner was ecstatic.

And then the noises stopped.  It was not in the nature of a MePhone to pine or complain, but function seemed flat and listless, somehow lacking.

Then, months later, the noise was back, but it was not the same.

**Nghahhhh***

After the final message came, Dinner felt that something strange was in the air.  Perhaps it had been the sand.  Function returned to normal.

And then, some months later,  another phone was there.  Dinner had bumped up against it previously, but not realized that it was the SighPhone.  They met and something happened.  Neither could say anything about it, lacking the ability to form words, but there was a feeling of something like the rude noise, but silent.  Because they were phones, they never thought to ask if that made the something that happened not rude at all.

The rude noise did not come again, but Dinner experienced a slight frisson every time it rested on the desk where the SighPhone was stored.

Somewhere in the heart of its electronics, Dinner realized that it was the luckiest of all phones, even if it did find the texts from HarryxxxSarah to be a bit jarring from time to time.

Best of all, Sherlock Holmes never suspected a thing.