Title: It's Not What It Looks LIke
Fandoms: due South
Characters: Ray Kowalski, Benton Fraser, (Francesca Vecchio)
Rating: Teen
Length: 1480 words
Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters, I don't own them, I derive no profit from their use.
Summary: Fraser asks Ray for a favor.


“Ray, I wonder if I might ask you for a favor.”

“Sure, Frase—wait, this isn’t going to involve some kind of fight against impossible odds, is it?”

“Oh no, nothing like that,” said Fraser.

“Or swimming?”

“No, I assure you.”

“All right, then,” said Ray, still looking a little suspicious.  “Lay it on me.”

“Well, you see…that is…”  Fraser tugged at his collar.

“Come on, spit it out.  What’s on your mind?”

“It’s a somewhat delicate matter…”

“What, you need money?” Ray asked.

“No, nothing like that,” Fraser hastily assured him.

“You’re not sick or anything, are you?”

“Not that I’m aware of.  I feel quite well.”

“Well, good.  So…what’s the problem?  Girl trouble?”  Ray grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I…suppose you could call it that,” Fraser replied.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Well, perhaps not quite in the way you’re—”

“What, you got your eye on someone?”  Ray’s voice dropped conspiratorially.

“Not at all.  In fact, you might say it’s the reverse.”

“Oh.  Someone you can’t get rid of?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way, exactly, but…  Well, you know I have nothing but the warmest respect for Francesca.  Not only is she Ray Vecchio’s sister, but I’ve come to consider her a friend.  But, well, I’ve never been able to, ah, dissuade her of…that is…”

“You can’t get her to stop hitting on you,” Ray said.

“I—yes.”

“You’re not asking me to throw myself on that grenade, are you, Fraser?  Because I love you like a brother, but I love Frannie like a sister—a really annoying little sister—and there’s some things a guy just can’t—”

“No, no, it wasn’t my intention to—I would never ask you to—that is, even if such a suggestion were ethical, it seems impractical.  And I doubt it would work, in any case.”

“What, you think Frannie’s immune to my charms?”

“You’re quite charming, Ray,” said Fraser.  “And I’m sure Francesca is quite aware of your personal attractions.  It’s just that she seems quite capable of finding other men attractive without altering her basic, ah, attitude towards me…”

“Yeah, all right, I know what you’re saying.  So…?”

“Well… It occurred to me that Francesca has a strong sense of fair play, and would probably consider me ‘off limits’ if she thought I were, well…”

“What?  Taken?  Gay?  Dead?”

“I’m not sure about the latter two, honestly,” said Fraser.  “It was the first I had in mind.”

“You think she’d lay off you if you were dating someone else?” Ray asked.  “Yeah, maybe.  But…you’re not, right?”

“Well, no.  And of course I wouldn’t initiate a romantic relationship solely for the purpose of…”

“Yeah, sure, of course not.  But so, what’s your point?”

“Well, I’ve noticed lately…that is, one does overhear things now and then.  And although I don’t always grasp the nuances of Chicago slang, many of our colleagues’ jokes are, well, not particularly subtle.”

“Jokes?  What, have people been poking fun at you about Frannie?”

“Ah, not usually about Francesca, no.”

“Who’s been giving you a hard time?  I swear I’ll bust their heads for them—”

“Thank you, but it’s not necessary.  I’m used to…well, in any case, the point I was trying to make was that I have the impression that a number of people have been speculating about…”

“About what?  Speculating about your love life?”

“Well…yes.”  Fraser rubbed his eyebrow with his thumbnail.  “There seems to be a general opinion that—well, I suppose it’s natural, really.  After all, we do spend a great deal of time together, and—”

“We who?  Who the hell are you supposed to be spending all this time with?  You barely spend time with anyone besides me.”

“Well, yes.  Exactly so.”

“Wait.  Wait, you mean people are thinking that you and me are—?”

“I’m afraid so,” said Fraser.

“That’s—that’s just—where do they get off—?” Ray sputtered.

“To be fair, one can see why people might wonder.  If they were inclined to speculate about hypothetical romantic relationships that are really none of their business.”

“People got no business making up shit like that—”

“I agree.”

“Well…well, good.”

“Still, you have to admit, it’s not entirely implausible.  As you say, we spend a great deal of time together, neither of us is known to have any other romantic attachments—“

“Yeah, I know.”  Ray flapped a hand in Fraser’s general direction.  “It’s an obvious thing to think.  Look, I’m sorry—”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Ray.”

“No, but just, it’s a pain in the ass and there’s not a lot we can do about it.  Kicking heads won’t help.  We’re just going to have to let people get their jollies at our expense until they get bored or some juicier gossip comes along to distract them.”

“True enough.  But actually, I....that is, I was wondering…it’s a lot to ask, of course, but…”

“What?”

“Well, it did occur to me that you are perhaps the one person anyone is likely to make the mistake of believing me to be, ah, taken by.  So, if Francesca…”

“Wait, hold on.  Let me get this straight.  You’re asking me to be your beard?”

“My—?”

“Well, normally it means the girl you pretend to date so people don’t know you’re gay,” Ray explained.

“Oh, I see.  Well…yes.”

“You know, that’s got to be one of the weirder propositions anyone’s thrown me since you talked me into faking it as a professional baseball player.”

“I hope I haven’t offended you.”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“I realize it would be an imposition,” said Fraser.  “It would put rather a damper on your own romantic life.”

“My what, now?  Fraser, when was the last time I got a chick to even give me the time of day?”

“Well, there was the young lady with the bad checks—”

“Who dumped me before we got as far as drinks and dinner.  I rest my case.”

“Ray, just because you’ve had a bit of a dry spell doesn’t mean that you should give up on the idea of finding a congenial woman with whom you can—”

“Ride off into the sunset with and have a house in the suburbs and two point five kids?  Tried that once, it didn’t go so good.”

“I know it’s difficult to start over after a divorce—”

“Look, I’m not saying I’ve sworn off women or anything, I’m just saying the way my luck’s been going lately, I might actually get more play if they did think I was gay.”

Fraser gave him a bewildered frown.

“Ray, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Nah, seriously, girls love to flirt with gay guys.  I don’t know if they like the challenge or if it’s just that there’s nothing more attractive than a man who’s totally safe.”

“But then…You think that even if she believed me to be homosexual, Francesca might not…lose interest?”

“Well…she might not stop flirting, but she’d stop expecting you to do anything about it, at least.”

“That would be…an improvement over matters as they stand.”

“And I do think you’re right that she’d back off if she thought you were taken.  Or if not, you’d at least have me to protect you.  Hell, come to think of it, it’d be kind of fun to tell her to keep her paws off my property.”

“Ray!”

“Aw, I’m just yanking your chain, Frase.  I’ll be all nice and civilized if you want.  Although I still think the look on her face would be hilarious.”

“Does that mean you’d consider doing this?” Fraser asked.

Ray frowned thoughtfully.

“Yeah…I guess so,” he said.  “Like you said, people basically think we’re dating anyway.  Might as well get some use out of it.”

“I appreciate it, Ray.  It’s not a small favor.”

“Hey, what are friends for, right?  Consider it done.”

“Thank you.”

Fraser offered Ray his hand and they shook, a bit self-consciously.  When they let go, Ray stuck his hands in his pockets, while Fraser smoothed down his tunic.

After a moment, Ray asked hesitantly, “You’re just doing this because of Frannie, though?  I mean, you’re not…?”

“What?”

“Looking for something….maybe not so fake?"

“Of course not,” Fraser replied.  “Not at all.  That is to say, I do care deeply about you, of course, and as I’ve said before, you’re quite an attractive man, but I’m afraid I don’t…that is, my tastes don’t run that way…”

“You’re straight, is what you’re saying.”

“I prefer to eschew labels but…well, yes.”

“Yeah, me too.”  Ray clapped Fraser on the shoulder with a relieved grin.  “It’s too bad, in a way,” he added, slinging his arm over Fraser’s shoulders.  “Think of all the fun we could get up to together.  And it’s not like either of us is getting any with anyone else.”

Fraser looked at him askance.

“Are you proposing…?

“Yanking your chain, Fraser.”

“Understood, Ray.”