godsdaisiechain.livejournal.com

Challenge: Introductions

Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster

Pairing: Jeeves and Wooster, Bertie and Rocky (implied), Bertie and Ginger Winship (implied), Jeeves and other

Rating: PG

Characters: Jeeves, Bertie, Rocky Todd, Aunt Dahlia, Anatole, Ginger Winship, Bingo Little

Summary: As the heyday of the Jooster comes to an end, Bertie follows Jeeves to Paris.  They come to a thingummy of sorts.

Word count: ~1800

Warnings: Jeeves gets weepy.

Bertram knows not when the weeping motive introduced itself into the fray.  It had already begun by the time the willowy form flowed into the Paris flat. And it was up to Wooster to stop it. The weeping, not the Paris flat.

Jeeves had gone off to Paris after some scandalous rumors reached him. Deuced Anatole was eating with Bingo Little and started praising Jeeves’s strapping corpus and talk ensued. Jeeves had been a part of the Wooster entourage for so long, and Wooster had all those bohemian pals. Aunt Dahlia shushed it up and I expected Jeeves to return, but he stayed away. Deuced heartbreaking. And, after some further weeks had passed, Wooster had finally registered that Jeeves had not abandoned him to the mercies of a visiting Rocky Todd.

Of course, Rocky was the one who unblinkered the Wooster.  We were at the Drones and he was drunk and nearly turned out for taking off his tie and hooting about the din of the city. Bertram was in the process of adjusting a rather natty Windsor knot at his throat.  He smiled blearily and I thought what an adorable young muffin he could have been if Jeeves was not ensconced in the heart. “Oh, Bertie,” he slurred.  “It’s just like the time I gave you those slippers. Don’t you like me just a little?”

“I am sorry old fruit,” I said, “It’s simply not the done thing.”

He smiled at me sadly. “It was then. And you had some other excuse."

“Whatsis?”

“You said that it was not congenial. That you loved where you could not win  and your heart could not admit another. I always thought Jeeves was behind it. You never use words like congenial. I’ll bet he saved the slippers just to tease me.”

The scales sprang from the e.s. No wonder Jeeves had mended those blasted slippers.  They had been a bone of contention in the home, but I treasured them because Rocky had shown me how very much I loved Jeeves.  What a pal.

As I had all those years ago, I felt positively awash with friendly affection for Rocky.  And I assured him that he was among the most congenial of my mates, but I’d been separated from my true love and the heart could not admit another.  He collapsed in a drunken heap.  Luckily, Bingo was about and came to help me bung him into his hotel.

A thoughtful Bertram trickled to the empty London home.  I had been sundered from true love for quite a while. And we hadn’t had a nice tumble in ever so many weeks before Rocky arrived.  Allons-y a Paris, it was, then.

The Paris flat was uncharawhatsits untidy when I tooled in after a stream of porters conveying numerous bags and boxes and trunks.  I’d informed the London crowd that I was going on an around-the-world cruise, which justified packing all manner of folderol. I assumed Jeeves was out when I heard a strangled choking emanating from the vicinity of the bath.  I ankled in and found the poor chap curled up in the tub, head between the knees, one hand stuffed in his mouth, simply shuddering with sobs. The water had gone cold and his fingers and toes were all wrinkly.

“Ah, Reg,” I unstoppered the tub and kept an arm about him, patting the back and draping him with towels until I could get him wrapped him up in a towelling robe and in the bed.  The sheets reeked of sweat and smoke.  He must have had a rough time of it, pruney darling. I sat him down and shed my own wet things and then curled up with him under the covers and soothed him to sleep. I maybe wept a bit, but just in manly sympathy for the dear chap, not in shame for having been such a dolt.

As he slumbered, I oozed about the place, setting things to rights and then sending a chap off to carry in a dinner.  The guest bed was clean and made up nicely, so I bundled up towels for the laundry and the trash and got the fellow to see to them.

I set the dinner in the oven to keep warm and trickled in to see if Jeeves was awake. He was staring up at the ceiling with red, puffy eyes, breathing heavily, his fingers still all wrinkly like little raisins.  The bean reminded me of why we had not had a tumble in so many weeks. I had been feeling very guilty about something, very guilty indeed.

I sat at the side of the bed and took his hand. “Reg?”

“Oh, Bertram,” he whispered.  “I am sorry to greet you like this.”

“No, no, Reg.  I should have wired you.”

He chuckled. “You did.” A crumpled cable sat on the table.

“Then why did you…?”  He raised an eyebrow and then closed his eyes and stifled a sob.

To R. Jeeves

Rocky oozed back to New York although not in his pajamas. STOP

Good old Ginger taking me about the town STOP

See how wrong you were about all that folderol with the slippers? STOP

Prepare for news. STOP

BWW

Ah.  As a composition, it perhaps lacked a certain something.  Mayhaps sense and content. Particularly as Ginger had been an ardent pursuer from time to time. I whiffled into a mortified kitchen and Jeeves staggered behind in his dressing gown, lured forth by the smell of dinner. “I thought you formed an attachment to Mr. Winship.  He has been pursuing you for months.” Ginger had done this off and on since Oxford and I was certain it was simply a phase.

The knees nearly folded. “Oh, Reg. How do you know every secret I try to keep?”

The heart within him melted at my distress, and he folded me against him. “Because you told me.”

“I did?”

“You did.” He stroked the golden head.

“Ah, er, when?”

“You came back home at dawn, inebriated.  And when I appeared upset, you told me that you only narrowly avoiding committing a serious sexual indiscretion with Mr. Winship by feigning loss of consciousness. You seemed to expect congratulations.” That particular oompus-boompus had caused quite a tear in the Wooster heart. Jeeves had been like an icicle for weeks and it had taken months to reconcile chummy relations with Ginger.  “I, of course, imagine, that there had been some less serious indiscretion in the case.”

“Reg, I am simply unworthy.”

He colored and shifted. “I am…”

I pshawed and waved this off.  We’d both been engaged so many times. “You did not actually marry any of those beazels, Reg.”

“But I did…”

I started and his arms fell away again. “You married one of them?”

He went a strange color and then he introduced the indiscretion motive again. “No, of course not, but I had relations…” It took a moment to understand what type of relations, then I had to excuse myself to expel the scant contents of the Wooster stomach--I'd subsisted on toast and tea and brandy over the past day.  Jeeves held up my forehead and helped me rinse my mouth and the sink. He apologized fulsomely. We were both in such a state.

Whatever were we to do? “Reg, whatever are we to do?”

His bean had gone the color of farina. “Do you want to leave me? I cannot blame you, after my heinous indiscretion.”

I grabbed at him desperately. “No. It’s simply the idea of your putting your lovely man parts into…. I’ve had them in my mouth, you know.”  I shuddered again and thought over the circs. “We were in some type of danger?” He nodded, still whey-faced

“We had been so indiscreet.  It was the only way I could devise to maintain the proper mask.” He stammered, voice cracking,resting his bean on my shoulder.

“You wanted to avert suspicions?”  He nodded.

“We were indiscreet?  No… wait. I was.”

“I would never say…” his voice cracked again

The poor chap was shaking in every limb.  “You must know, Reg. I signed the heart over to your care years ago.”  He huffed out his breath.

“I do not want to leave you, Bertie.”  We stood for some time, clinging to each other.

Finally his growling belly broke the silence. He flushed a deep red.  “I have not eaten since your cable arrived yesterday.”

I cupped his puffy, tear-reddened face fondly.  “Sit down, Reg, and I’ll bung up the plates.” The poor chap had ravelled the sleave of thingummy in the worst way. We ate, but the tension was still thicker than a deep and hearty pea soup and a question burned in the Wooster co-co-nut.

“I have something for you,” I said finally. I oiled to my steamer trunk and retrieved a key and unlocked a drawer and fished out some financial papers I’d kept secret from him. It was good policy to keep separate accounts and advisors, Uncle George always said. I forked the old papyrus over.  His map went grey and he sank down onto the setee.

“I had no idea….” I sat on the arm and mussed his hair.  It had dried all curly and adorable, just the way I liked. “And you intended so much for me? Even after we…?” He choked a bit and rested the onion against my waistcoat.

“I love you,” I said. “It’s…I did not want you to be left in need.”

“I have ample savings.”

“I have gotten you accustomed to a certain style of living.”  I stood. “Now give me your hand.” I knelt down and pulled out a ring and promptly the old lemon emptied itself. I stammered and tears rolled down Jeeves’s dial. “I offer you even unto all my heart.”

“Bertram, are you certain? Of course I will be yours. I am yours already, but this is too much.”

“I was going to suggest a honeymoon, and I believe it is customary to share out the goods and chattels beforehand.”

He smiled and then turned the ring on his finger. “You must have had this ring made for me during our last trip to Florence.”

“Er, whatsit?” He held up the box, and pointed out the name of the jeweler. I flushed and he kissed me.

“You are so terribly dear.” I’d always imagined that we would be all over each other like a virulent rash at such a moment, but we were both wrung out like damp tea towels.  He pulled me up beside him and we snuggled for a limp moment.  Then he excused himself. After some minutes, I noticed him kneeling on the floor. “Reggie, whatever are you… ?”  Words failed as he opened up a little box from the same jeweler, containing a ring with a bally lovely purple stone. “This is erm whatchamacallit.”

“Nothing is too much for you.”  He slipped the ring onto my finger.  “The jeweler ruined your surprise, but it gave me the opportunity to have him make you this.”

It was beautiful. “Oh, ah, thingummy.”

“I love you too, Bertie.”

I pulled him up beside me and we curled up together. I rather wanted a tumble. “Erm, Reg, ah whatsit?  Er, thing? That is to say, what? Ah, dash it!”

“Yes, darling, I would be delighted to have a tumble.  I believe the guest bed is freshly made up.”