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Due South: FanFic (Poetry): one best thing

Aug. 21st, 2012 at 3:48 PM

Title: one best thing
Fandoms: due South
Pairing/Characters: Ray Kowalski/Benton Fraser
Rating: G
Length: 210 words
Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters, I don't own them, I derive no profit from their use.
Summary: A love poem. Not a dysfunctional one, even!

one best thing

my heart’s strung together with copper wire
solder and spit and electrical tape
it’s dinged and scraped
and I think I lost a couple of the bolts somewhere
ain’t pretty
but it still runs OK
maybe should’ve thrown it out
years ago
but I could never stand to let go of it

yours is done with Superglue
and a steady hand
cracks don’t hardly show
unless you hold it up to the light just right
you keep it up on a special shelf
like Grandma’s china shepherdess

swap you my old junk for yours
like junior high, no backsies
but you gotta promise
you’ll use it
don’t put it up on a shelf and take it down just to dust it
shove it in your pocket
in your backpack with your textbooks

and don’t be too mad at me
if I love you a little rough
everything I touch gets scuffed and chipped
little grubby
but I promise you
I’ll keep what you give me
won't drop it or leave it out in the rain
won’t ever trade it away
gonna carry it with me
keep it next to my bed at night
dreaming in the moonlight
my heart on your pillow

Comments

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bghost.livejournal.com wrote:

Aug. 21st, 2012 08:49 pm (UTC)

Argh! That is so PERFECT!

Oh my... gargh! How did you DO that? Perfect Kowalski! I'm flabbergasted.

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desireearmfeldt wrote:

Aug. 21st, 2012 10:32 pm (UTC)

Thanks!

(I've been living in Kowalski-headspace fairly intensively for the past couple of weeks, what with Big Bang being partly from his POV plus another big project I've gotten involved with... He's taking over my brain!)

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bghost.livejournal.com wrote:

Aug. 22nd, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)

It really shows that you've been living in his head space... there's a real ruggedness about it, a real "Kowalskiness." Kowalski means Smith. You probably know that... one of my favourite puns in the series comes from Dead Man Running... "How many Stan Smiths do you know," says Ray to Stan Smith... even though he's actually Stan Smith! And in this poem you have a sense of the concreteness of his affections, the whole working on an engine, the engine being broken but he can make it run.

The poetic voice in this is that of a Smith, of a mechanic, someone who fixes broken things.

And then, his perspicacity, his detectiveness, when he observes Fraser's heart, up where nobody can touch it... and the warning that he might love a little too rough, that what he touches gets scuffed and chipped... but it will be loved.

This is just beautiful. I read it, then read it again, and again once more... and was so envious that someone else could write this, when I knew it wasn't something I could ever attain. It's a completely different kind of poem from my particular cadences, but I have to confess I was so jealous of your poetic voice. It's so outside my repertoire... and so beautifully done.

Honest to goodness, I wish that our fandom was like Dr Who, with a thousand times more readers, because this so desperately needs to be read.

Edited 2012-08-22 01:48 am (UTC)

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desireearmfeldt wrote:

Aug. 22nd, 2012 01:24 pm (UTC)

Wow, thanks. :)

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love-jackianto.livejournal.com wrote:

Aug. 22nd, 2012 05:23 pm (UTC)

That was wonderful.

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desireearmfeldt wrote:

Aug. 22nd, 2012 05:35 pm (UTC)

Thanks! :)

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mergatrude.livejournal.com wrote:

Aug. 23rd, 2012 06:04 am (UTC)

Oh, Ray!

This is just fantastic. So open and honest and out there. In my head Ray is always, always stream-of-consciousness, heart-on-his-sleeve, a little rough, but genuine. He thinks he's a con-job, but it's only on the outside.

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