Title: Following Her Dreams
Fandom: Dangan Ronpa
Rating: PG-13
Length: 594 words
Content notes: Spoilers through Chapter 1 of DR; vague implications of violence
Author notes: This is my first submission to the community, my first time writing in this fandom, and quite possibly the first English-language fanfic ever written for Dangan Ronpa, so there are three levels of anxiety going on beyond the text. Here goes nothing!
Summary: Sayaka Maizono's always done what she has to do to be a superstar idol. This time shouldn't be any different, so why is she frightened?


For the first time in years, Sayaka Maizono is afraid.

It shouldn't surprise her, given what she's about to do, but somehow it does anyway. It's a fluttery, nervous little fear, the kind that so often goes along with anticipation, and it feels deeply childish. Once Sayaka places it, she realizes why -- it's stage fright, the kind she used to feel in elementary school before a class recitation. Even now, the old shame comes swimming back: memories of lightheadedness and nausea, the hiccups bad enough that she'd once collapsed with them in the middle of an oral Japanese exam and been sent home. She never forgave herself for that, and worse, her father never forgot. He thought it was funny, but somehow that only made every barbed joke hurt more. Sayaka remembers, with stinging clarity, his response when she told him her group was recording for the first time: "what'll they have you sing? Three minutes of hiccups a song?"

Why is she thinking about this? She can't afford to be childish now; there's too much at stake. She should be beyond this sort of fear -- no, she tells herself, she is and has been for years. Her career as an idol has been easy and natural, like destiny, and she won't let herself throw that away out of squeamishness. Tonight's plan is the only way to get back to her friends and fans before she's completely forgotten, and that means it has to be a part of her destiny too.

Besides, Sayaka reassures herself, it's not a difficult plan, and she's already finished the hardest parts of it. The knife from the cafeteria feels comfortably solid in her hand, and Naegi's room is the perfect staging point, so featureless that Kuwata will never suspect it's not Sayaka's own. There's nothing to get in her way now -- certainly not Kuwata, who's as simple as any boy she's ever met. He'll show up soon, and sooner or later he'll turn his back on her, and that'll be that. She'll switch the door signs, and come morning, nobody will believe Naegi over her. Lying is easy when you're saying what people want to hear, and Sayaka's very good at that.

By tomorrow night, she hopes, she'll be graduated and home, and she can put this behind her like she's done for so many other things. She'll take Yuuko out for cake and tell her some silly story about the boys bothering her at Hope's Peak, and when she says she'll be happier just focusing on the group, she'll mean it. She'll even laugh at her father's jokes. There's a whole world waiting for her outside the school, and she knows what she has to do. There's no reason to be afraid.

Sayaka swallows the gorge in her throat and wills her stomach to calm down. There's no need to worry anymore. Oh, she could second-guess herself forever, but Kuwata'll be here any moment, and she has to be ready to receive him. She stands up and carefully slides the knife into the waistband of her skirt; the feel of the cool metal against her hip is oddly calming, and when she pulls her blouse back down, she can barely see the bulge. Perfect. Sayaka puts on a smile, and it's almost genuine.

There's a knock at the door -- two soft raps, the knock of someone who doesn't want to be overheard. That'll be Kuwata. Feeling the weight of the knife with every step, Sayaka crosses the room to let him in.

It's showtime. She'll dazzle them.