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Due South: FanFic: Oatmeal and Bananas

  • Jun. 4th, 2012 at 3:04 AM
Title: Oatmeal and Bananas
Fandom: Due South
Rating: Gen
Length: 471 words
Summary: The breakfast that Fraser describes in North by North West.


… and one day I wake up, and the sun's shining. Winter. Everything is winter white. Winter bright. Winter blue. And she's still gone. Still dead. But...

There are little foot falls, and I look. I've been sleeping sitting up, since it happened. Can't bear to go back to our bed, because she's not there. Don't want to eat, to move. Sometimes you have to. Sometimes you need to pee, sometimes you need to put water down your throat. But mostly...

Mostly you just sit. Sit and don't think. Sit and don't see.

This morning, I hear little feet, and I open my eyes, and there...

A little man. I forget sometimes how small he is.

He pulls up a stool, and stands at the sink. He's pouring water into a bowl.

Takes the bowl to the table.

Puts his hand in a bag of oatmeal.

Drops it in the bowl.

Stirs with a spoon.

Sits, and eats, and pulls faces. It must be sticking in his throat.

Little man.

I wonder if he's hungry.

Then, I'm sleeping. I can hear the little man, walking round the house.

I wake up, and there's some fruit there, bread and cheese. Again. He's been leaving me apples. I think, I must have been eating something.

Next morning, before I wake, she's standing there, and she's got her arms folded in front of her chest.

“Bob,” she says, “enough of this. Get up.”

“Caroline?”

“Bob, get up. He's hungry.”

I blink, and wake up, and it's winter white, winter bright, winter blue.

The boy's not up yet.

I pull myself up to my feet, and walk to the sink. I'm shaky, but I'm standing. I look at myself in the mirror. When did I grow a beard?

She preferred me clean shaven.

I shave.

The boy is talking in his sleep. He's crying for his Mommy.

I step outside. He's been feeding the dogs while I've been... while I've been sleeping. How long, weeks?

I feed the dogs. When I get back to the cabin I see that someone, a neighbour, has left a box at the door. Eggs, and potatoes, and fresh fruit.

I carry the box inside, and see there are bananas. The boy loves bananas.

I turn to the stove, and take a pan, and start to cook for him.

When he comes out of the room, and oh Lord, how did I let him get so skinny, I have his breakfast prepared.

We haven't said a word in weeks. I put out his warm oatmeal, slice the bananas. Put the bowl in front of him. He's sitting at the table, staring at me, like he's stunned.

I can't smile at him, can't hug him, can't think what to say.

Only one thing to say.

“Son.”

Comments

[identity profile] mergatrude.livejournal.com wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 02:10 am (UTC)
Oh that is beautifully heartbreaking. I love how Bob can't even say his name.
[identity profile] bghost.livejournal.com wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 02:25 am (UTC)
I think, if he said his name it would break his heart at this point. He's trying to keep some distance, because Caroline's death broke his heart, and he can't bear to let anyone else ever get that close again, even his own son.
[identity profile] mergatrude.livejournal.com wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 02:28 am (UTC)
Yes, exactly. Beautifully done! ♥
sl_walker: (Default)
[personal profile] sl_walker wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 02:17 am (UTC)
Oh, ow. Ow, ow. The repetition makes it, and the long, drawn grief, and the tangible reeling Bob is doing, and the sheer hurt of seeing little Ben trying to be self-sufficient, well before he should ever have to be. OW. Break my heart, why don't you? I think I've gotta snuggle my two now.
[identity profile] bghost.livejournal.com wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 02:24 am (UTC)
This one hit me when I first saw the episode, North by North West... I thought, good Lord, he's six years old, and by the time his father's able to make him breakfast the man has grown a beard? How long did he have to wait for that to happen? And what did Bob see, when he first looked up and saw his abandoned son?

Believe me,I know just what you mean. After that episode I snuggled my son, and he's a teenager! It's awful, but children all over the world are forced to grow up beyond their age.
desireearmfeldt: (cloak)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 02:38 am (UTC)
Oh, Ben. Oh, Bob.

Ben with his uncooked oatmeal is particularly moving...
[identity profile] bghost.livejournal.com wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 03:50 am (UTC)
I know... I remember watching the episode, thinking, how did Benny actually survive, and it has to have been something like this. Because he was six years old, what on earth was he supposed to be? I can see him putting out dried biscuits for the dogs, and dry food for himself, maybe tearing off bits of bread and cheese, and eating dried apples from the larder. But, he couldn't have cooked, couldn't even have called for help. He'll have just had to make do until help came... and thank goodness it was in fact his father, in the end.
[identity profile] exbex.livejournal.com wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 04:05 am (UTC)
sad and gorgeous. Unsettling how well you articulated what must have gone on inside Bob's head. <3
[identity profile] love-jackianto.livejournal.com wrote:
Jun. 4th, 2012 08:27 am (UTC)
That was wonderfully heartbreaking.

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