Previous Entry | Next Entry

Title: ...And I Will Pledge With Mine
Author: DesireeArmfeldt
Fandom: Due South
Characters: Benton Fraser, Ray Kowalski
Rating: General
Word Count: 73
Author Notes: for [livejournal.com profile] mergatrude, in reply to her poem posted today.
Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters, I don't own them, I derive no profit from their use.



Speak to me, my liar

Not with the words you throw
so carelessly
con job
partner

Your mouth is a house of mirrors
your silence is rotten ice
hiding depthless dangers

My safety lies in standing still
My safety lies

But

Speak to me with your fists
tell me
the only truth we can share

If you dared to listen
to the blood on my lip
it would tell you:
I am yours



Comments

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com wrote:
May. 23rd, 2012 04:07 pm (UTC)
If they ever hold a F/RayK Beautiful Angst playoff, you're in the running for a top seed.
desireearmfeldt: (cloak)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
May. 23rd, 2012 04:54 pm (UTC)
*blink* Thank you. :)

I do love me some angst... :)
[identity profile] bghost.livejournal.com wrote:
May. 23rd, 2012 04:26 pm (UTC)
Amazing... like the poem to which it's a response. I love "speak to me, my liar," and "I am yours." And Fraser thinking in terms of rotten ice... he's got such a lot to fear from communication, and from relationships, based on everything he's been through before. No wonder he's lost in a hall of mirrors... very cool.
desireearmfeldt: (cloak)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
May. 23rd, 2012 04:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :)

Edited 2012-05-23 04:55 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] ride-4ever.livejournal.com wrote:
May. 23rd, 2012 10:42 pm (UTC)
<3 <3 <3

You win at EVERYTHING!

Every word here shines like a diamond, and cuts like one, too.
desireearmfeldt: (cloak)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
May. 23rd, 2012 11:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :)

Edited 2012-05-23 11:48 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] mergatrude.livejournal.com wrote:
May. 24th, 2012 01:18 am (UTC)
I am OVERWHELMED by your awesomeness! That last stanza is a killing blow!

My god, I wish those two crazy kids would get their shit together! ;-)
desireearmfeldt: (cloak)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
May. 24th, 2012 01:23 am (UTC)
Thanks. :)

Happily, they mostly do, in canon. And the wonderful thing about fanfic is we get to have all the angst *and* all the happy endings. Concurrent and consecutive! :)
ext_261756: (F/K Love/Hate)
[identity profile] how-obscure.livejournal.com wrote:
May. 30th, 2012 01:47 pm (UTC)
Woah.

Woah.

That's heavy. And it has such gorgeous, strong imagery. Ray is like a hall of mirrors when he speaks a lot of the time; the speed and gesticulations all deflect from what is real and what is not, truths and falsehoods bouncing around like light off of glass.

Ooh, and the rotten ice metaphor! And Fraser calling Ray "my liar" sets the darker tone so well. Throwing Ray's words at the reader (con job, partner) is just a punch in the gut!

And the simple use of "But" on a line all to itself to separate the dangers and miscommunications from another form of communication.

I am really, seriously in love with this.
desireearmfeldt: (cloak)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
May. 30th, 2012 01:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :)
[identity profile] spuffyduds.livejournal.com wrote:
Jun. 2nd, 2012 12:41 am (UTC)
My safety lies. WHEW. Nice.
desireearmfeldt: (cloak)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
Jun. 2nd, 2012 12:43 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm glad you like that line -- I waffled about it. :)
luzula: a Luzula pilosa, or hairy wood-rush (Default)
[personal profile] luzula wrote:
Jun. 2nd, 2012 10:59 am (UTC)
Oooooh. *shivers* I love that!
desireearmfeldt: (cloak)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
Jun. 2nd, 2012 11:22 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)

Edited 2012-06-02 11:22 am (UTC)

About

[community profile] fan_flashworks is an all-fandoms multi-media flashworks community. We post a themed challenge every ten days or so; you make any kind of fanwork in response to the challenge and post it here. More detailed guidelines are here.

The community on Livejournal:
[livejournal.com profile] fan_flashworks

Tags

Latest Month

February 2026
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios
Designed by [personal profile] chasethestars