Title: Song of the Great Washed
Fandom: Fannish RPF
Rating: G
Length: 100
Content notes: N/A
Author notes: Thanks go to Kevin and Andy and sundry others of the Bay Area costuming community.

This song refers to a thing we actually did a couple of years at BayCon, after encountering a few too many folk who neglected to follow these precepts. (The gaming-room was particularly odiferous, but not unique in nasal offense). We called ourselves 'The Great Washed.' We all dressed in bathrobes and towels and so forth, and Kevin had a scrubbie-on-a-stick that served as a combination scepter and drum-major baton. There were rubber duckies of every size and color, soap-on-a-ropes being swung like censers, and great fun was had. I think there were 30-odd people in the procession at one point, chanting "Lather, Rinse, Repent!" The photo is of a badge-ribbon from a subsequent BayCon.

The soaps listed are all real, including Lever 2000, and present in one form or another in the procession.

Summary: Lather, rinse, repent!

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Oh gather nigh ye fannish ones
That to conventions go
Hear and heed these precepts wise
Hygeia’s scriptures know

Six hours sleep, two meals, one bath
Each day at the event
Will make for happiness and fun
Where lack will see you spent

Don toweling or terry-cloth
Your shower shoes and caps
Avoid the fug, the dizzy head,
Take time for snacks and naps

Saints ivory and Irish spring,
Lever 2k and dove
O Dial and Palmolive too
And Zest go hand in glove

Throughout the halls in glad array
With duckie, sponge & scent
Process and sing the clean refrain:
To Lather! Rinse! Repent!
Yes, Lather! Rinse! Repent!