Title: Hands Off
Author: jordannamorgan
Fandom: Detective Conan (Case Closed)
Characters: Jimmy (Conan).
Setting: General.
Rating: G.
Length: 460 words.
Summary: Jimmy muses on one of the more troublesome issues of having a child’s body.



I swear, if I ever have a kid when I finally make it to some kind of normal adulthood, I’ll always ask him before I physically pick him up.

Yeah, it sounds silly, but that’s one of my takeaways from being a teenager in a child’s body—because I’ve found out that when you’re thirty-six pounds and three feet tall on tiptoe, people have the funny idea that you’re portable. I’m always getting scooped up and manhandled. It’s one of the biggest indignities of my situation. It can also be really uncomfortable, with hands ending up in some awkward places to support my weight.

…Okay, so my squirming and fighting to be put down may sometimes have a lot to do with that. But still.

Getting picked up without my consent is usually just annoying, like when Richard tosses me away from a crime scene I’m trying to examine. On the other hand, my easily-handled size can be downright dangerous. More than once I’ve found myself in the grasp of a killer… and in those moments, having a grown-up mind doesn’t help much. No matter who I really am, there’s an instinctive, terrifying feeling of helplessness about being so small and weak in the hands of someone who I know has already taken a life.

Well, at least until I remember that I’ve got Doctor Agasa’s gadgets on my side. I might criticize some of the Doc’s lesser strokes of genius, but he’s saved my life more times than I can count.

In spite of all that, though, none of those things are really the most terrible part of being small enough to tote around.

The worst part, believe it or not, is when Rachel picks me up. Because…

Because that’s the best thing as well as the worst.

It’s embarrassing to be lifted off the ground by the girl I love; but at the same time, it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful to feel her hold me close, the way I wanted but never had the courage to express before I was shrunk. It’s wonderful to feel her warmth and her heartbeat… and even to feel the real affection she has for the little boy she thinks I am.

Yet it also hurts, because it’s not the way it’s supposed to be.

I should be the one who can pick her up in my arms. When her heartbeat is pressed to mine, I should feel it quicken with the different love she’s confessed she feels for my true self too.

But that isn’t possible yet… so for now, I can only make the best of what I still have.

That’s why, when it’s Rachel who picks me up and holds me, I hold onto her too—as tight as I can.

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2016 Jordanna Morgan