Title: Stupid Things
Fandom: Kamen Rider OOO
Rating: G
Length: ~950 words
Content notes: Set immediately after episode 34; no explicit content.
Author's note: This is as far as I've watched in the show so far and it's probably going to be contradicted by canon as soon as I start watching more, but I really needed to write this scene or something like it. Please don't spoil me for the rest!
Summary: All Eiji wants to do when they get back from Leisureland is fall into bed and sleep for a week. Unfortunately the universe has other ideas.


All Eiji wants to do when they get back from Leisureland is fall into bed and sleep for a week. Unfortunately the universe has other ideas and they walk in as Chiyoko is agreeing to a special event for literally a hundred people, who'll barely even fit into Cous Coussier. So Eiji dredges up more energy from somewhere, pastes on a smile, and agrees to do his best.

It helps that everyone else is doing it too, Gotou and Hina in costume, Date in the tiny kitchen frying up what he swears are authentic fajitas. Even Ankh is as close to helping as he gets. He stays out of people's way, passes Date ingredients, and glares at Eiji in the way that means he's more concerned than mad. Once he grabs Eiji's wrist and just holds on for a long few seconds, staring at Eiji's face like he's trying to break a code.

"I need to serve this platter, Ankh," Eiji reminds him.

"Tch," Ankh says, and lets go like Eiji's skin suddenly burns. So it's weird, because it's Ankh, but it's encouraging, too, and helps keep Eiji on his feet while they work together to save Chiyoko's party.

Then, after all the guests have left and the floors have been swept and the dishes are (mostly) done, finally, after that Eiji gets to fall into bed like he wanted to. His everything aches and he feels so hollowed out, he doesn't know how he even managed to stay on his feet all this time. In the moment it's so easy to just do what needs to be done, but when he has enough time to stop and think he feels like a cracked bowl that all the Eiji-ness has leaked out of. He lies there with his eyes closed and just breathes.

Ankh falls into bed with him, catching him in the ribs with a sharp elbow. It's probably an accident—it might be an accident—but Eiji still yelps and rolls away. "Ankh?" He blinks in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ankh snaps, but he doesn't go anywhere. Okay that's not true. He comes closer, catching the front of Eiji's shirt with his uninjured hand and gripping tight. For a second that doesn't make any sense and then it does, duh, of course things this afternoon freaked him out too.

"If you want to talk about it, we can," Eiji says, knowing he won't.

"God, shut up," Ankh says. Yup, figured. He smushes himself right up against Eiji's side, his hand kneading in Eiji's shirt. "I don't need you."

Eiij closes his eyes again and weighs the benefits of arguing, very briefly, and only in his head. He doesn't think Ankh is talking about solely having someone to help him collect medals. He also doesn't think he wants to have a fight with Ankh tonight. "Okay."

"That's it? Okay?" Ankh sounds so affronted, Eiji has to crack an eye open to see the ridiculous face he's making, that tight-lipped pout with the wide unfairly pretty eyes. Even now it makes him crack a smile.

"That's it. You know yourself best, right?" He thinks maybe he was supposed to be mad, but he doesn't have it in him right now.

Ankh is making the about-to-lose-it face he gets when Chiyoko fusses over him. Hah. "I don't need you," he says again. "But."

Eiji's so tired. "But?"

"But you're convenient," Ankh says. "I don't want to have to find a replacement for you. This is... not bad, this setup. So don't do stupid things!"

They seem to be talking about it after all. "You know I can't promise that. People keep needing help. And sometimes I can help them."

"What about me?" Ankh demands. "What about helping me?"

You help yourself, Eiji almost says, you don't need me, after all, but it feels like the wrong thing to do. Ankh is tense against his side, trembling just a tiny bit. Fuck. Okay, he can do this. He can keep being strong.

He tugs an arm free and wraps it around Ankh's skinny shoulders. Ankh goes even tenser. "It's going to be okay," Eiji says. "I'll keep helping you, okay, so don't worry."

"Anyone would worry about you. You're an idiot." Ankh's voice isn't sharp the way it should be, saying something like that. Instead it's almost more like the way Hina would say it. Not quite, but almost.

"How about this," Eiji says. "I promise not to do any stupid things tonight. That's a start, right?"

When Ankh sighs, his warm breath ruffles Eiji's hair. "What do you call this, then?"

"Cuddling isn't stupid!"

"I am not cuddling! Besides, cuddling a Greeed is stupid."

"Good thing we're not doing it, then," Eiji says even though they clearly are. He rolls onto his side and tucks his head into the hollow of Ankh's throat. "I guess what's happening is you're keeping watch so I don't do stupid things."

"Tch, fine." Ankh pets Eiji's hair, smoothing it into an orderly shape, like a bird preening. "Somebody has to."

Eiji thinks about the other things he could say and isn't going to, the things like, I'm so tired I feel like I could just not wake up, or Did you pick me to help you because I've lost all my own desires. "Thanks, Ankh," he says instead.

"Idiot,"Ankh says, and doesn't stop preening. The tension ebbs slowly out of Eiji's body and he drifts toward actual sleep. This won't fix anything for real, not for good. But for tonight, at least, he's being watched over, and... it helps.