Title: Of cabbages and kings
Fandom: Galavant
Rating: PG
Length: ~400 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Dialogue-only fics are interesting to write. Also, I am possibly a dork.
Summary: in which Galavant wants to sleep and Richard wants to talk. Set early in season 2, before Tad Cooper.



Gal. Gal. Gal. Gal. *Gal.*

The answer’s no.

I haven't asked anything yet.

Don't care. Go to sleep, Richard.

Gal. Gaaaaal. Galgalgal.

Ugh, fine, what is it.

You killed a dragon once, yeah?

...I don't like to talk about it.

But you did, right? You totally did.

Yes. Okay. I killed a dragon. No, I am not telling you how. You can't even kill *rabbits* for us to eat, you don't have a chance against a dragon.

The rabbit thing wasn't my fault, I told you that. Anyway, ew, why would I want to kill a dragon, it sounds messy.

It is. Go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.

But Gal.

*What?*

How did you find the dragon?

I didn't. It found me. And no you do not smell backstory, you smell *going to sleep*.

Fine. Whatever. I'll just find my own dragon.

Says the man who lost his castle.

Hey. I didn't lose it. I know exactly where I left it. Besides, that's a hurtful thing to say.

Go. To. Sleep.

...

...Why the sudden interest in dra--

No reason

--gons and you’ve got that look on your face -- Richard, what did you do.

Nothing!

...

Well, yet, anyway.

Oh, God.

I was just thinking...

(that never ends well)

What? I didn’t quite catch that.

...

...well anyway, I got thinking, and if I only had a dragon, I could--

Richard. Richard! No singing.

Why not? It’s not like we’re going to get ambushed by bandits or-- ow.

You had to say it.

There’s an arrow in my shoulder!

Yes. Because of the bandits.

You know, if I had a dragon I could--

You don't. And you won't. Because it's a bad idea. You know what's a good idea? Helping to fight off the bandits.

Oh, you're doing a great job, Gal. I wouldn't want to get in the way.

...I'm not sure whether or not I should say thanks. ... Okay, that's the last of them. But no singing tonight, Richard. Promise me.

I promise.

And no talk about dragons.

...

...

...even if hypothetically--

No.

But Gal--

No. And that's final.

But--

No.

...

...

...what if--

No.

Fine. You're no fun. And I will get a dragon one day, you'll see. I could conquer all--

No *singing*.

hmm mm hmmm hm--

Or humming. Or whistling or making any noise. Go to sleep.

Go to sleep yourself.

...

...that wasn't much of an insult, was it.

Not really. Good night, Richard.

Humph. I *will* get a dragon. One day.