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Original: Sedoka: On the outside

  • Jan. 12th, 2016 at 1:07 AM
Title: On the outside
Fandom: Original
Length: 30 words
Content notes: no warnings apply; contains angst
Summary: too short to need one



as a child, I learned
my emotions were too much
or too little, always wrong

now when I'm tongue-tied
choked with what I can't express
you assume I feel nothing


Technical note: The website Shadow Poetry defines sedoka as "an unrhymed poem made up of two three-line katauta with the following syllable counts: 5/7/7, 5/7/7. A Sedoka, pair of katauta as a single poem, may address the same subject from differing perspectives.
A katauta is an unrhymed three-line poem the following syllable counts: 5/7/7."

Comments

desireearmfeldt: (Default)
[personal profile] desireearmfeldt wrote:
Jan. 12th, 2016 12:42 pm (UTC)
Nice.
clarasteam: picture of louise brooks (Default)
[personal profile] clarasteam wrote:
Jan. 12th, 2016 06:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
smallhobbit: (butterfly)
[personal profile] smallhobbit wrote:
Jan. 14th, 2016 09:12 pm (UTC)
And yet you use your poetry to express yourself with such good effect.
clarasteam: picture of louise brooks (Default)
[personal profile] clarasteam wrote:
Jan. 14th, 2016 10:17 pm (UTC)
thank you - I could write this after the event, but couldn't find the words during it.
elizabeth_rice: Snoopy typing on his typewriter (Default)
[personal profile] elizabeth_rice wrote:
Jan. 19th, 2016 12:49 pm (UTC)
I like it, very moving.
clarasteam: picture of louise brooks (Default)
[personal profile] clarasteam wrote:
Jan. 21st, 2016 09:01 pm (UTC)
thank you very much!
mrkinch: Viggo's hand clenched behind his back (hold on tight)
[personal profile] mrkinch wrote:
Jan. 21st, 2016 03:23 am (UTC)
So spare and perfect. Also, yikes!
clarasteam: picture of louise brooks (Default)
[personal profile] clarasteam wrote:
Jan. 21st, 2016 09:02 pm (UTC)
eee, thank you! *hugs* I was feeling pretty yikes when I wrote it, but the writing helped.

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