Title: nothing you can do to change it back
Fandom: Wiseguy (tv)
Content notes: spoilers for the whole Sonny Steelgrave arc, panic attack
Challenge: Real
Length: ~350 words

Summary: Sonny wakes up.



Sonny wakes with a shout, heart pounding. He throws off the covers and pushes himself to his feet before he’s really aware of anything, scrabbling to get out, get away from --

But it’s not a hospital room. He’s in his own bedroom, panting like a racehorse at the clubhouse turn, and for a minute all he can feel is panic. He’d grabbed those wires to get away from the cops, he can’t let them catch him, he’ll go out on his own terms if he has to go, goddammit, Vinnie.

But he’s home. In his own fucking pajamas for God’s sake. Coated in sweat, hands shaking, sure, but... not dead.

Must’ve been a dream.

Realest fucking nightmare he’s ever had, but fine. Okay. Just a dream. He stumbles out of the bedroom to the kitchen, fills a glass of water at the tap, and chugs it with the faucet still running. He mistakes the edge of the sink when he goes to set it down and the glass slips, shatters. Nothing but broken shards now.

Sonny’s knees go out from under him, and he sits down hard on the kitchen floor. He’d seen the way Vinnie’s hands shifted on the wine bottle, remembered how he’d decided not to care. In his dream, they'd already beat each other black and blue. How much could a little more blood really matter?

Realest fucking dream.

When he gets enough of a grip on himself to crawl to the phone, nobody answers at Vinnie’s place. Nobody knows who he means when he tells them to call Vinnie. Nobody knows who the fuck Vincent Terranova even is, much less that he’s been Sonny’s right hand for months.

But they offer to call Dave, and Sonny has to lay the phone down then and scream into the carpet like a wounded animal. Dave, his brother Dave, his dead brother Dave. But sure, find him and put him on the phone. Tell him Sonny’s lost his goddamned mind.

Yeah. Sonny lies on the floor until the dial tone turns to beeping, then lets the beeps go until they fill up his head and squeeze all the panic out the other end. He always knew he’d end up in Hell. He just didn’t expect it to be like this.