Shane didn't know what was real and what was not. He didn't know if he was just looking at some stupid internet hoax or if it was real. He had no idea if he could go to a different site and find something else out there. He dropped his phone to the couch, and he looked at his hand. It was shaking.

He forced his gaze off his hand and out onto the lake. He wondered if he really wanted to stay here. This was his place where he could be himself, but he had stocked it for himself and Ilya. He had made it so that they would both be happy there. His food, Ilya's snacks. Things that they could make together. It was just so fucking wrong.

Shane picked up his phone, turned it to do not disturb, and went into the settings and removed Ilya's number from the list that allowed it through. Then he started to research more. It was across seven different gossip sites, all of which actually published stuff that they could prove. Not the ones that just posted shit to see what stuck. He had long ago learned not to look at them.

There was so much in the place that was going to remind him of Ilya, the things he wanted to show him. The food that was for him. The blankets that Shane made sure that Ilya would like, because being at his house in Boston the year before had told him what kind of bedding Ilya liked.

Shane got up after a while, and he worked on getting Ilya's stuff in the fridge moved around to where it was in the back. He would rather look at it once and then just forget about it. His arm ached a little bit, but that was nothing that he wasn't used to when he started to use it more again. He was doing PT on his own, having already seen someone, and they gave him everything he needed to do it on his own. He had to do a video call at one point with them, and then he would be cleared to go back to all kinds of activity. That was marked on his calendar.

When he was done with the kitchen, Shane headed back to his bedroom to change into clothes that he could do yoga in. He would like to get some of it done so that he could clear his head. He still wasn't sure what he was going to do. The silent retreat had been to keep his parents away as he tried to figure out how to break it all to them.

Yoga helped Shane clear his head, but this time it didn't. All he could think about was Ilya. All he could want was him. He broke down crying halfway through his warming-up routine, and he just lay on the mat and cried.

---

Ilya looked at his phone, and he found that none of the messages were marked as read. None of the calls had gone through. They had rang but never picked up. He was worried because this was not like Shane. Yeah, there were times that he didn't answer if he was out with the team, but he was at his cottage, and he said that he had perfect cell service out there. He should have been on his way to the airport to pick him up hours ago. Ilya never got the message. There was a lot of distance between the airport and the cottage. A lot of places where he could wreck.

Frozen in fear, Ilya had no idea what to do. He moved over to where there were fewer people, and he called Svetlana.

"You were supposed to be having fun. Are you bored?" Sveta asked in Russian.

All that Svetlana knew was that Ilya was going to spend a few weeks having some fun in the woods of Canada, where he could unwind from the world. She had worried about him but hadn't said anything. Not after he had said he was going ring shopping and his Jane was going to be married to him one day. He never said that he was going to spend time with Jane, but Svetlana wasn't stupid.

"Sveta, I do not know what to do. I am at the airport, and Jane is not here. The calls are just ringing, and the messages are not being read. There is a long distance between Jane's cabin and the airport. Do I call the cops? What the fuck are Canadian cops even called?" Ilya was glad that no one around him seemed to be paying attention to the upset man talking Russian.

"Do you know the address?"

"Of course," Ilya said.

Shane had sent Ilya the cottage address because he had been afraid that he might be unable to go and get him.

"Then go there."

"If he's wrecked on the side of the road?" Ilya asked, and it was only after he said it that he realized what he had done.

"Then you will find him. I doubt that he will go any way other than the quickest path in and out of there. You know him, Ilyusha. You will find him. If you need help, call me back, but do not fret. Maybe he was too freaked out about this and did something to calm down and lost track of time."

"He doesn't smoke as I do," Ilya said.

"There are other ways of calming down."

Ilya tried to picture Shane taking anything to calm down. It wasn't possible. He would have to be drugged against his will to do that. Still, Ilya didn't want to fight with Sveta. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he said his goodbyes after thanking her for the help. The ring was in his bag; he had checked it when he had gotten the bag from where it had gone through the machine. He had quickly slipped it into a safer pocket, and then he had headed out to meet Shane. He didn't plan on proposing while out there. They hadn't even said that they loved each other, but Ilya wanted it in case it was something that happened, something that felt right.

Marrying Shane felt right. It felt like the best thing in the world, and Ilya wanted it.

Getting a rental car was risky with his name, and at least if he ordered an Uber, things would be easier. He did that, knowing that it would take a while. However, it seemed that someone had dropped someone else off, and it had been just at the right time because the car was only moments away before Ilya could even settle himself down.

"Are you sure you don't want to rent a car?" the driver asked when Ilya got into the backseat.

"I'm sure." Ilya tried his best to make his accent muddled to where it wasn't fully Russian but something close to a random Eastern European accent. He had done it a few times before when he was out and picking up a guy to hook up with.

"Okay then. I'll gladly do it."

Ilya was glad because he wasn't sure that he would leave the backseat of the car with any grace if the guy refused it.

There was a sign on the back of the seat, and he read over the words; he knew them all after so long in the US and Canada, and he was glad of it because he was more than happy to have the kind of ride where he checked the local feed and even Googled Shane's name. The driver turned up the radio a little bit, but the music was at least current hits, and that meant that Ilya knew some of them to sing along with under his breath while he checked Google way too much. The only things that popped were where some sites used Shane's name to get people to go there, and other stuff that was happening at the end of the season, things that people were sharing as they finally made it into their sphere.

"Thank you," Ilya said when they were getting close.

"You are welcome. I might need help getting to the exact location because this area's good on the maps but not the best when it comes to these private drives."

"It's okay, I am surprising my partner, and so I will just walk down the drive. You can leave me at the end of it." Ilya didn't have cash, but he had more than enough money in the bank to leave a fucking good tip because the man didn't bother him once beyond asking if he was too cold when Ilya shuddered one too many times.

The path was clear, and despite Ilya's ribs hating him a little bit, he headed down the path with his bag. He looked left and right, but he made sure that the car was gone before he picked up the pace. He smiled to himself when he saw the cottage, but that was quickly stopped when he realized that Shane's vehicle was there. He stopped in his tracks as he took it in. He started up again and picked up the pace even more because now the worry was heading up again. He knocked on the door as he dropped his bag on the porch.

Then he banged on the door when there was no movement inside the cottage. He listened for any noise but heard nothing. Ilya didn't like this. He brought up his phone, and he debated what he was going to do. He thought about calling Sveta to have her talk him off the ledge of calling the cops to come out and check. He still wasn't sure what the fuck Canadian cops were called. He had never cared before, never having dealt with them beyond escorts sometimes from the airport to the arena during the high points of the playoffs. He didn't know what to do.

Illya went to look for windows, and he found that there were a lot around the sides and the back. He followed them, looking inside for the main floor of the cottage. He knew that there was a bigger bit of it in the basement so as not to mess with the whole look of the place. He found that there was no sign of Shane at all. There was no evidence of him having been in there, to be honest, no glass on a table. What Ilya thought was the bedroom had no lump on the bed. No phone on the stand. There was a glass of water, but it was halfway empty, which could have been from that night. He looked around, and when his eyes looked at the water of the lake, his heart dropped.

Shane had never once hit on the memory of his mama. Ilya had never worried about him being sad like that, but Ilya had never spent a lot of time around him either. He had never once talked about his mental health struggles; then again, they never talked about anything like that, even to the press. There was no need to. It wasn't something that was needed out there, even if Ilya thought that it was needed.

Ilya walked down toward the lake, and he took in the sun on it and how beautiful it was. It wasn't the kind of place where someone came to kill themselves, but if this was the only place where he could find to take the time to do it, to be safe while he did it, Ilya could see Shane doing it.

The place was calm, and Ilya didn't want to yell, but he would. He would yell until he was hoarse, and Shane answered him.

Ilya turned around, and he saw the lump that was off to the side. He could only see a little bit behind the bush, but he knew that hair. It was Shane's hair. Ilya ran over, and he found him shivering in a hoodie that was wet from what seemed like the water that came at night. He touched Shane's head, and he still had a little warmth there. Ilya dropped to his knees in front of him, and he tipped up Shane's head to look at him.

"Shane?" Ilya asked.

"Ilya?" The word was dropped halfway through and then picked up again, but Ilya knew his name.

"Hey, what are you doing out here like this?" Ilya asked.

"What are you doing here?"

Ilya was worried. Was this because of the hit that Marleau had done on him? Did he need to call the medical squad?

"I came to see you, remember?"

"You are supposed to be with her," Shane said.

Ilya closed his eyes, and he leaned in to kiss Shane's forehead. So, Shane had seen the pictures of him ring shopping with Sveta. Ilya had hoped that Shane would not see them. Nothing inside the gossip that was part of the MLH had actually picked that up. It had been more on the celebrity side of things than anything else. Ilya has been pissed as hell at it being picked up by anyone.

"I am not supposed to be with her. I'm supposed to be with you. Let's get inside the house, da?" Ilya asked.

"I'm cold."

"I can tell. I'll get you warmed up." Ilya knew not to use too hot of water, but he could get Shane out of the wet clothes, use a warm wet rag to wash him up a little to make sure that he didn't feel weird, and then get him into the bed where Ilya would hold him. He could easily get Shane warmed up, and they could talk. About Ilya being brave and buying a fucking pair of engagement rings before telling Shane that he loved him.

Shane tried to stand, and he pitched forward into Ilya's arms, so Ilya picked him up in a bridal carry, and Shane protested, but then he seemed to lose all fight with himself. He slumped into Ilya's arms and then went inside. The door was a little hard, but Ilya got it open. It was hard, but he did it because he didn't want to let go of Shane at all. He struggled with getting Shane into the bathroom as well. Ilya knew more about this place than he probably should because of that fucking show that Shane did about it. It was easy to see that Shane loved this place, not just what Ilya had seen on TV, but also the way that he cared for it in the ways that Ilya could see right now.

"I can stand," Shane said when Ilya seemed to hesitate about what to do with him when he was in the bathroom.

"No," Ilya said, because he didn't think that Shane could stand. He used his foot to get the whole seat down for the toilet, and he set Shane there, who nearly pitched off the side of it as, it was. Ilya just glared at him, but Shane didn't meet his eyes.

It wasn't the normal Shane not meeting his eyes either. It was something else that Ilya wasn't sure about. He wasn't sure what this was, but he would allow Shane to do what he wanted with that. It wasn't unknown what Shane's issues were with that. Ilya asked Marleau about it a long while ago. He felt like there was something else to it beyond Shane being a little ashamed. Ilya had then looked it up. It was part of what Ilya thought was up with Shane's diet, beyond the whole actually giving a shit about all of the food that he put into his body. It had to do with textures because the few meals that they had shared when having to be around each other over the years, there were things that Shane never ate. Pike and a few others would swap things with Shane, and one time, Ilya had done it when forced to share a meal with a lot of people at some freaking event. Shane had never brought it up, so Ilya wasn't even sure he had been diagnosed. He could see Shane slipping through the cracks on that because it was just put down to his love of hockey.

Ilya got on his knees, and he looked at Shane and waited for him to look in the rough direction of Ilya's face. "I'm going to get the water started, not too warm, so that you don't have issues with it being too hot. Then I'm going to strip you. Are you injured anywhere?"

Shane shook his head.

Ilya nodded before he got up again, and he turned on the water. He found that it was pretty easy to settle into what he thought was going to be warm water without it being too warm. Ilya stripped himself down to his boxers first so that Shane didn't feel like he was wrong-footed with it. Ilya wasn't sure if Shane would feel like that because there were times that Shane loved it when he was naked, or mostly naked, and Ilya was still dressed and fucking him. The knowledge that Ilya couldn't wait to get inside of his mouth or his ass, that he didn't even get fully naked. There were other times when it seemed to put Shane off, so Ilya always followed what it seemed like Shane wanted when it came to that, at least after Vegas.

Shane helped a little bit when it came to getting his shirt off, getting it up and off his arms, while Ilya got his shoes and socks off. The socks were soaked, and the shoes would need to be dried. Ilya hoped there was a spot that he could put them over a register to get air flowing in them when the central air kicked in. Or maybe he could put them outside somewhere.

"You didn't come and get me," Ilya said.

"I..." Shane closed his mouth, and he shook his head. He inhaled and exhaled before looking to the side, not even having a single bit of Ilya in his line of sight unless he moved his head.

So there was something else going on in Shane's head right now. That meant that it was something that Shane wasn't ready to talk about. Ilya could be patient. He didn't like being patient, but he could be patient.

Ilya got Shane's undershirt off, and then it was just his sweats and whatever else he was wearing under them. Ilya was careful as he got the pants down to where he needed to get Shane back on the toilet to get them off the rest of the way. He was quick when he did it, tipping Shane to lean on him and standing up before getting them under his ass and down enough to where Shane could sit again. He seemed to have stronger legs now, so getting warmer like this was helping him.

The room was warming up from the water, so before Ilya got the pants off Shane's legs, he got up and headed to the shower to check the temp. The water felt a little too warm, so Ilya turned the hot water down a little bit. He would get in the water first to make sure that Shane wasn't going to be hurt by it when he finally got him into the shower.

Shane wrapped his arms around Ilya's neck when Ilya got him fully naked, and then they came up. Ilya made sure that the shower was good. He was glad that it was one that was big, and it was not a tub. They weren't good with those if they were injured. Which was something that happened more than they wanted to admit. Usually, it was small things, but now, being able to shower was horrible when one was injured.

There was a bench seat that went all down one side, and it was very much where it could be easy to sit and do the whole shower, even moving things around to make sure that they weren't getting an injury wet. It was going to be interesting to see this. He settled Shane onto the bench and grabbed the showerhead that was on the side of the wall, flipping the switch that was on the base to make sure that water came out of the handheld part. He tipped Shane's head back. The water didn't feel too warm to him, but if it was too warm to Shane, he wanted to know now.

"How is that?" Ilya asked.

"Not too hot," Shane said. He closed his eyes, and he tipped his head back more to allow Ilya to get him wet. The whole shower was going to be a test of Ilya. He didn't allow himself to have Shane in the shower too much, all that wet skin on display, like his hands were able to touch everywhere. It was something he loved, but this felt so intimate. More than anything else they had done, even after they had decided to be exclusive. It was the kind of intimacy that was different because Ilya wanted to take care of him, not just get him off.

"Why were you outside?"

"I went on a run to clean my head, and I think that I might have sat down to rest and fallen asleep all night long," Shane said.

"Shane," Ilya said.

"I..." Shane still wasn't looking at Ilya, not even acting like he was trying.

"Eyes on me," Ilya said.

Shane's gaze darted to him, but then it went away again. Shane swallowed, but he still didn't look at him.

"Shane, what did I do?" Ilya asked.

"You don't know? You..." Shane made a noise, and then tears started up.

Ilya got Shane wet again, and then he turned off the handheld, waiting for the main water to flow again to where it hit Ilya and not Shane. He lathered up Shane's hair, and he was careful as he did it. He worked on getting the scalp as clean as he could get it without going overboard. He grabbed a rag to use to make sure that there was no water in Shane's eyes when he rinsed his hair. There were a few seconds where Ilya hoped that Shane would look at him alone on his own.

"Do you love her?"

"Who?" Ilya asked. He felt his heart beating, and if Shane looked at him, Ilya was sure that Shane would see it beating as well. Like it was going to break out of his chest. "Who, Shane?"

"The woman you went ring shopping with."

Ilya cursed, a string of Russian that would have made even Ilya blush if he had heard it, and he wasn't someone who blushed easily.

"I do love her, but just like you love Pike."

Shane was looking at him now.

"She is my best friend. We fade in and out of each other's lives sometimes, but we will always have each other's backs. When I asked her to help me go ring shopping for my Jane, she gladly agreed so that I would end up with something that was going to be something you liked, even if we don't get to wear them often because of all of this."

"Ilya," Shane said. His gaze was still on Ilya's face, like he was trying to find the lie. Like he didn't trust the words that his brain was telling him that he was hearing.

"I had a plan, there was a whole plan, and it did not include asking you to marry me today. I hoped that you did not see those, and I could have you isolated here, and by the time that happened, you saw them, you would be in love with me."

"Fuck, I love you." Shane all but fell into him, and Ilya held onto him.

Ilya hadn't expected those words, but Shane said them with all the conviction that he had. It wasn't a lot because he was still shivering, but Ilya worked on getting him cleaned up more quickly. He stripped his underwear off and washed himself while Shane sat leaning against the wall, watching him. It should be hot, but neither of them was hard, which was just fine. Shane needed good sleep before he could consent to much of anything at all. It was the kind of thing that Ilya had always tried to keep an eye on. The consent of things. It wasn't something that many really cared about when it came to being drunk or too tired, but Ilya did. He had never allowed himself to take advantage of anyone. He has seen the way that his parents were. His mother was never allowed to tell her husband no when it came to anything. He was sure it was the same in the bedroom, so he had tried to be the best person when it came to that.

Shutting off the water, Ilya grabbed towels and got himself dried off in a sloppy way before he went to Shane. He got Shane up a little and dried him off on his upper half before making him stand to get his lower half. The nice and open shower made it so easy to dry off before even stepping out. The room wasn't foggy because the water had barely been warm.

"Underwear?" Ilya asked.

Shane shook his head before he got himself out of the shower and headed for the bed in the bedroom. He climbed, grabbed a towel, and dried his hair a little more as he moved, then draped the towel over a pillow before lying down. He kept his gaze on Ilya as Ilya did enough to his hair to make sure that it wasn't going to be a mess that was hard to deal with later. There was no product in there that would help a lot, but there was a leave-in conditioner that wasn't going to wreck it that would help at least some. Then Ilya headed for the bedroom. He stayed naked as well and climbed into the bed. Shane rolled over, and for a few seconds, Ilya was worried until Shane plastered himself to Ilya's front and made Ilya hold him. They were pressed as much as they could in the cocoon made by the bed. It started to warm up with Ilya's body heat, and Ilya let himself enjoy having Shane in his arms.

There were a few seconds where Ilya thought that Shane was going to want to talk, but he didn't. His body went lax, and he was dead asleep. They were not going to move at all until Shane was awake again.

---

Shane felt warm, which was good because the last time he had woken up, he remembered being cold. He didn't know what was going to happen next, but he felt that there was a body with him. The shower came back in fits and spurts, his body telling him that he had slept hard. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he remembered telling Ilya that he loved him. He hadn't meant to, but he didn't regret it.

The ring had been for him. No one had been able to get a picture of the ring in the images that had come out, and it had just been assumed that it was for the woman he had been shopping with because she had been used to help pick it out. There had always been a level of fear in Shane that Ilya would never choose him, that Ilya wanted Svetlana. Shane knew who she was, but he never wanted Ilya to think he was jealous. They had so little time together that they didn't need to have fights, but maybe that was part of the issue they were having right now. They talked on the phone, but it wasn't about the stuff they should be. Maybe being here together for longer than a few stolen hours would be good for them. They could talk about the things that they needed to.

"Hungry?" Ilya asked.

"I think so. I'm a little sick to my stomach, but that could be from not eating. I remember telling myself that I would eat when I got back from the run."

"Then you ran too much and fell asleep outside, got too cold, and would have died if I hadn't found you."

Shane said nothing because he knew it had been fucked up, but he hadn't gone out to do that. He had just meant to sit down and rest for a few moments before he got up again. He was glad that Ilya came out there after Shane hadn't gone to pick him up. He was glad because he loved him and he wanted Ilya with him all the time.

"Are you going to cook?" Shane asked.

"I was going to get some of the stuff I found in the fridge an hour ago out. The finger foods so that I could feed them to you."

That sounded very good. Shane hadn't been fed like that in a long time. Once, when he had hurt both arms as a kid, his mom had made sure that he had food he could feed himself because it was what he wanted. He had been fed soup once by his dad because he had been shaking from a fever, so it would have been a wreck to feed himself.

"No fight?" Ilya asked.

Shane shook his head. He didn't need to fight. Ilya was doing it out of a desire to care for him; he knew that. Not to want to make him feel like he couldn't do it. Shane could, and Ilya knew that. "You didn't do anything wrong, so if you are doing it because of how I was, it was just..." Shane exhaled.

"Too much?" Ilya asked.

"Something like that. I just had so much from everything, the worry about you coming here, then seeing that, afraid that someone is going to find us."

"What do your parents think is going to happen over the next two weeks?" Ilya asked.

"Silent retreat. It was the only thing that would keep them from being worried about me not being on my phone that much. I'll be checking in, just a standard 'Hey, I'm alive' text in the evening, but they will not really respond. I would be willing to have small chats, but they know to stay away."

"Hmm, you are lucky that it's not a shock you would want to sit in your Fortress of Solitude here alone and talk to no one."

Shane reached back, and he tried to smack part of Ilya's body, but his hand was caught, and he was made to take it back to the front, and Ilya cuddled him more. It was their second time sleeping in a bed together; the first had been the nap months ago in Boston, and just like that one, Shane loved this. He had freaked himself out too much about the way that it felt too good for them to be together like that.

"Wait, isn't that what this place was called in the documentary? Did you watch that?"

"Was good to help me sleep. So boring," Ilya said, but he kissed the side of Shane's neck.

Shane laughed because it was something that Ilya said, but he had a feeling that Ilya liked boring, not in the way that it was actually boring, but more in the way that it was something that he could rely on. He knew what Shane's reaction to most things was going to be, and he loved to needle them.

"You like my boring, Rozanov," Shane said.

There was a soft growl from Ilya before he closed his mouth around the meat of Shane's neck, and he held him there. It was more arousing than it should be, given that Ilya wasn't even hard pressed against him. He wasn't sure if Ilya wanted to be hard or not. Then Ilya was getting hard against his ass, and Ilya's hand closed around Shane's hip and held him in place.

Shane wasn't sure what Ilya wanted, but he didn't care about it. He wanted to have it. He held his hand to his front where Ilya had placed it, and then they were rolling. Shane was put on his belly, and Ilya moved only far enough to get the lube, and there was some of it drizzled on Shane's ass before it was dropped to the bed. Ilya slotted himself there, and he closed his mouth around Shane's neck again and held on as he rocked into him. Shane was trapped to the bed, and he tried to move his hands, but was grabbed and his hands were pinned to the bed. He hadn't thought that he would get hard like this, but he was. He wasn't aching, but he wanted whatever Ilya wanted.

"Mine," Ilya said when he finally let go of Shane's neck, trusting that Shane was docile and going to allow Ilya to do what he wanted. It was too much, but Shane was fine. Ilya had taken care of him, had cleaned him up, had held him in bed. Had bought him a fucking ring without them even saying they were in love. Shane had felt it. He had realized it while talking to Rose about being gay. He hadn't allowed himself to tell Ilya anything close to it because it was very much not a good thing if Ilya was the one to run this time. He knew that Ilya liked him, wanted him, but that didn't mean that Ilya loved him.

Now they knew that they both loved each other, and it was fucking crazy for either of them to have bought rings. He knew, though, that they were going to end up married. There was no person who was better in the world for him. They had been drawn to each other since that first time that Shane had introduced himself, and there was no one else who was entertaining enough to keep Shane interested. Ilya challenged him in all the ways that mattered. Ilya got him out of his shell.

Shane felt Ilya pressed to him, the sweat that was forming on them. His cock was trapped to the bed, and he didn't feel like he needed to fight him at all. It was strange not to want to, but he wanted this. He wanted to know what Ilya wanted to do to him. He wanted it so much. He moved his hands to grab the pillow, and Ilya hesitated but kept on going when he realized that Shane needed something to hold onto and the bedding wasn't a good option because he couldn't get a good enough hold on it. He shuddered when Ilya pressed down hard enough to get his cock between Shane's ass cheeks. The name for the act was gone from Shane's head. He had done a little more research into gay sex than he had before. Accepting that he and Ilya were together meant that he should probably know what the heck he was doing. Being scared to look up anything that had to do with being gay had been something that made him not know a lot of things.

"So tight," Ilya said.

Shane moaned when he felt the cock rubbing on his hole. He didn't know what Ilya was doing, but when he got up, Shane whined. He tried to turn his head to look, but Ilya pressed his head to the pillow, pressing his forehead there, allowing him to have room to breathe, but he had to keep his head up straight like that. Then Ilya spread his cheeks, and the head caught on his rim. There was a weird noise, and then when Ilya pulled his cock back, Shane felt something drop on his hole. Ilya has spit on him. That made Shane nearly come. He shuddered through it. The act was something that should have made him feel disgusting, but it didn't. Ilya left open-mouth kisses all over him all the time, and this was just a little different. Spit was nothing when there was lube involved, and then other bodily fluids. There had been times when blood was left on each other because small cuts had broken open with their sweaty bodies and athletic sex they sometimes got up to.

"Could I just slip in?" Ilya asked.

Shane nodded. He didn't know if Ilya was just commenting on it or if he actually wanted it. Shane was so loose right now. He had fucked himself with the dildo just before he had found the pictures of Ilya out ring shopping.

"Or should I make sure?" Ilya asked.

"Please. No condom," Shane said.

Then there was something else pressing to Shane's hole. He knew that it wasn't Ilya's cock because it was too hard and too cool. Then he realized that it was his dildo. The drawer with the lube had the dildo inside of it, but he had it in a bag that kept it clean. He hadn't realized that Ilya had grabbed it as well. He knew what Ilya was doing, and he didn't care.

"So, it's blue, like your team colors," Ilya said.

Shane was confused until he remembered Ilya asking what color his dildo was.

"Actually, the one at my apartment is black," Shane said. He groaned when the dildo pressed into him. Then it pulled out again, never going further than the head. Ilya was teasing the hell out of him. He was fine with that. He didn't mind it at all. The whole thing was fucking good. He wanted it. He wanted to be claimed.

The dildo was pulled away and then slowly, ever so slowly, Ilya pressed his cock into him, then he pulled out again. Shane whined, but then he felt his cheeks being held open even more. Then more spit was dropped right on his hole, his hole gaping just enough that he swore he could feel the spit going inside of him. Then there was more. Another glob of it and a third before the cock came back. He felt Ilya pressing inside of him, keeping the spit inside of him. Shane came at that thought with only the head of Ilya's cock inside of him.

"Such a dirty boy," Ilya said.

Shane felt a small orgasm at those words, and he was utterly boneless on the bed. He wouldn't be able to help Ilya at all with sex because he's done. He felt Ilya lying on him again when his cock was fully inside of him.

"You came from me fucking you with spit," Ilya whispered into Shane's ear before he bit it. "Is that something I should do more? Spit in your hole? Jerk off with just the head inside for you because you can't even fuck back onto my cock. Fill you up with spit and come and then plug you to keep it inside?"

Shane whined again as his cock started to get hard as the words filled his head and the cock filled him up over and over again. Shane knew that he had been ruined for anyone but Ilya a long while before, but now it felt like no one else would ever get him the way that Ilya did. There was no one who knew Shane's body as well as he did, as Ilya. There was no reason to fight what Ilya wanted when Shane wanted it to.

"Do you have a plug here?" Ilya asked.

Shane nodded his head, weakly, but he did. He loved the feel of Ilya all around him like this, filling him up. Pressing him into the bed, making sure that Shane knew that he was only his. The bed was wet, but all that did was get Shane harder. It was his own mess, and he was going to add to it as soon as Ilya got him off again. He knew it was the goal. Getting him off again before Ilya finally let himself orgasm.

"Then we will pick a day when we do that. Get yourself all cleaned up and make sure that the first load inside of you is dropped. Then I'll plug you up. Bend you over whenever I want during the day and fuck your ass, spit in you. You'll stay hard all day long from being full of me all the time. A mess that I get to play with."

Shane gripped the pillow hard because Ilya sped up his thrusts. It was a lot on his body, and he knew that he needed to stay lax to give Ilya what he wanted.

"You are mine, and I am yours. No one else for either of us. Ever. I will easily make a mess of you and make sure that no one else will ever fuck you as I do."

Then Ilya said words in Russian that Shane didn't know, but the tone, the edge, those two things told him all that he needed to know. Ilya was claiming him in a way that he felt was right to do. There was no one else. Ever.

Shane came when Ilya lifted up and spit on his hole again before fucking him even harder, holding him down wth a hand on the middle of his upper back and fucking him so hard. It felt like it was a rolling orgasm, like it was being drawn out of him every time that Ilya fucked into him. Then Ilya stilled and filled him up.

Shane felt Ilya inside of him, the warmth from his release, and the way that it just filled him up. They hadn't gone bare before, and while they got tested for a lot of things because of the job, STIs were not one of them. Shane did after Rose, just to be sure, and he hoped that Ilya was anywhere close to thinking he could pass something; he would have said something. Ilya would never do that. Not to him. Never risk him, so Shane just stayed like he was, utterly spent.

"Fuck, that's hot," Ilya said when he pulled free of Shane's body. "I can see it inside of you." Ilya leaned down and kissed the top of Shane's ass. "Sometime, we are going to do it to where I can eat it out of you afterward. Get you off a second time, licking myself from you."

Shane whined at the image that was put in his head. Ilya loved eating him out, and Shane had done it a few times to Ilya, but ass play didn't really get Ilya off. A finger while he was being blown, yes, but that was more about the prostate than the finger itself. They had done it because Shane was curious about sex with Ilya and what they both liked.

"I'm going to clean up, and then I'll come and clean you up. Okay?" Ilya asked.

Shane nodded because words were gone at the moment. He didn't even want to think about saying anything.

The world had ended when he saw those pictures, but Ilya had put them back together again. They were stronger than they had been, and it was going to be good. They were going to work on themselves, and they were going to settle down and be good. They were going to be happy. The world might not like them together, but they could steal their moments where they could.

Shane turned his head to look at where Ilya was cleaning himself up, a smile on his face. It was going to be them against the world, and they were going to win because neither of them knew how to quit or lose with grace.

The End

.