Dear Mr Holmes,

When I came up to your rooms this morning, I intended to run round quickly with a duster and then return to other more pressing tasks. However, in the process of doing the dusting, I accidentally bumped into a chair which was heaped with papers, yours of course, Dr Watson does not leave his books or newspapers lying around from one day to the next.

The consequent avalanche as the papers cascaded to the ground with a tumultuous noise, was sufficient to make me jump, inadvertently knocking a container on the floor, the contents of which started to eat the carpet. However, a jug of water thrown on the carpet prevented its wholesale destruction, and you will just have to place a chair over the bare patch, as I shall not be replacing it.

Since your papers were now on the floor, some of them helped to soak up the water, for the rest of which I used an old towel and one of your shirts which was beyond repair. I have left the wet items on the floor for you to sort out. The towel you may return to me, as no doubt I shall need it again in some further, probably none too distant, time. The remaining items are yours to dispose of as you see fit.

However, please note, this does not give you permission to either attempt to burn them or leave them anywhere that I, or some other poor unfortunate, can fall over.

The consequent loss of time caused by this mishap, which could have been prevented, meant that I was unable to visit the butcher as early as I had hoped and therefore was forced to purchase an inferior cut of meat for your supper. Which will now be late, due to the aforesaid loss of time. I suggest you offer to pay for the doctor to eat at his club.

I shall, of course, be charging you at the usual rate for the disturbance, which will include the price of a bottle of gin, making three bottles (so far) for this month.

Yours sincerely

M Hudson (Mrs)