Title:Echo of a Memory
Author:lucy_roman
Fandom:Stargate Atlantis
Rating:Teen and up
Pairing:John/Carson;John/Rodney
Summary and warning:John is exploring a Wraith ship when he hears Carson calling to him. Mention of canonical character death.
Word Count:509


The Wraith ship is deserted. John moves through it, efficiently, checking every corridor, every room. Maybe he should have listened to Rodney but he'd been so sure that there would be something here.

"John."

The voice stops him in his tracks. Not a voice on the radio. Not an as yet undiscovered Wraith taunting him. The voice is Carson's.

John closes his eyes. Carson is dead and he shouldn't do this. He shouldn't give in to grief like this, especially not here.

But John is not yet over Carson's death. Maybe he never will be. His relationship with the doctor had been important to him. Carson was easy to be with, there was no artifice. Just love and acceptance. Sometimes he looks at Rodney and wonders if the scientist actually likes him at all. Carson wasn't like that. Carson had loved him unequivocally and now he's gone John can't help but wish he had done more with that love.

"John."

His eyes snap open. If there's a chance that Carson might still be alive, then he should act. If Carson is on this ship then John has to find him. He moves forward again, trying to keep his guard up despite his overwhelming need to find Carson.

"John, help." The voice is coming from just ahead and he runs toward it but is brought up short by the mocking face of a Wraith queen.

She opens her mouth. "John," she says in Carson's voice and then she reaches out for him and he knows that soon he will get to see Carson again and he is glad.
♡♡♡
"John."

He isn't dead and the voice is Rodney's. Despair sweeps over him and then he opens his eyes and does his best to smile.

"Hey, Rodney," he says, his voice sounds hoarse, as though he hasn't spoken for a long time.

"Hey," Rodney replies. "It's good to have you back."

John struggles to sit up. "Carson," he says and then he sees the look in Rodney's eyes, pain mostly.

"You kept calling his name." Rodney is clearly doing his best to sound as normal as possible, but he doesn't meet John's gaze. "You've been unconscious for 22 hours. Keller doesn't know why."

"I'm not in the infirmary." John looks round at all the familiar things. The quarters he had shared with Carson once. There are still traces of his presence. John can't bring himself to eradicate them.

"I didn't want you moved," Rodney says. "When they tried you got... agitated." Rodney wipes a hand across his face. If he didn't know better John would think he was wiping away a tear.

"I was on a Wraith ship. I could hear Carson calling to me." John pauses and swallows the lump in his throat. "For a moment I thought..." He can't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"I loved him too," Rodney says and John reaches out for Rodney's hand. He sees Rodney smile and although he still wants Carson he knows that his world isn't as bleak as it could be.