Title: Love, Despair, and Starsky
Author: lucy_roman
Rating: Mature
Summary: A tag to the episode Vendetta
Pairing: Starsky/Hutch
Word count: 500


"It doesn't mean she doesn't love ya."

The words tumble in his brain. He knows Starsky means well but he needs time alone to think. So he leaves Starsky in the park. It's not like his partner's alone. Not like him.

When he gets home he finds himself walking carefully around his apartment. He can still see Abby lying on the floor, the broken window, fixed now thanks to Starsky. And the rat. His stomach went cold when he saw the rat.

He'd been so angry and yet when he'd looked at Tommy and listened to him all that anger had just drained away. The kid was as much a victim of Arty as anyone.

Now all he feels is despair. Hutch pours himself a drink. Right now he can't see the point to anything. How did it all fall apart so quickly?

The door opens and he spins around. He's had too much to drink already but his reflexes are still good.

It's only Starsky.

Hutch picks up his glass and lets the alcohol burn its way down his throat.

"What are you doing here? What happened to..." He can't remember the name of Starsky's date and his words trail off into nothing.

"I took her home. I was worried, that's why I'm here."

"You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine." Not true of course but he doesn't have the energy to explain how hurt he is, how confused. It's all but impossible to maintain a relationship as a cop but Hutch had really believed that Abby would be different.

"No, you're not." Starsky takes the glass from his hands. "You're still blaming yourself, Hutch. You shouldn't."

It's rich of Starsky to tell him what he should or shouldn't do. How is this any of Starsky's business anyway?

"I'm your partner," Starsky says. He puts a hand on Hutch's arm, grips it tightly. It's a promise and an offer and Hutch feels a smile spreading across his face, even though a moment ago he would have thought it impossible.

"I---"

But Starsky kisses him and whatever else Hutch had been about to say is forgotten. Hands grapple with clothing and the next few minutes are filled with nothing more than sweat and sensation and a burning need to have Starsky's hands and mouth on him, to have Starsky in him.

Sated Hutch pulls away.

"Feel better?"

"Yes. You can always make me feel better."

"Good." Starsky rolls away from him. "Okay if I have a shower?"

"Yeah. There's a clean towel in the bathroom."

Hutch listens to the sound of the water running and Starsky singing and smiles. The despair is largely gone now but he can't help but wonder how long he and Starsky are going to be dancing this particular dance. One night only, Starsky said the first time, but since then there have been many one nights. How many more will there be before they admit to how they really feel about each other?