Title: Mortal Enemies
Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
Pairing: Gale/Astarion
Rating: G
Length: 857 words
Content Notes: Modern-day AU. Mentions of animal and food allergies.
Summary: Oh, Astarion was sure that under any other circumstances Tara—Gale’s geriatric feline—would be a perfectly adequate roommate. As it was, though, Astarion was terribly allergic to cats.

Astarion was used to having enemies.

One did not become one of the most sought-after divorce attorneys in the country without stepping on a few toes and breaking a few hearts on their way up. But in all his not insubstantial career, Astarion had yet to meet a foe as menacing, as foul, as the beast currently haunting the flat that he shared with his partner, Gale.

Oh, Astarion was sure that under any other circumstances Tara—Gale’s geriatric feline—would be a perfectly adequate roommate. As it was, though, Astarion was terribly allergic to cats.

He was also allergic to garlic and other alliums, but he didn’t have to worry about cloves of garlic crawling into bed and cuddling up to his partner, whom Astarion then tried to cuddle up to, only to be seized by a five-minute sneezing fit for his trouble.

Which was exactly what had happened this morning, and why Astarion was now standing in front of the mirror in their bathroom, trying to alleviate his red, itchy eyes with the eye drops he had started keeping within arm’s reach.

Gale stood in the doorway, watching him with the wretched animal herself curled up in his arms, calmly cleaning her paw as though it wasn’t her grand plan to get rid of Astarion so she could have Gale all to herself.

“The exposure therapy isn’t working, is it?” Gale sounded so put out about it that Astarion almost felt the need to apologize for his own allergic reaction. “My offer still stands, you know. I can send her to live with my mother.”

Tara had been a member of the Dekarios family for almost two decades, a gift from Gale’s ex-wife when he had finished his master’s program. He’d gotten full custody of the cat in the divorce settlement, and she had been his constant companion since. All this Gale had told Astarion the first time he had offered to send Tara off to live with his mother, when he had asked Astarion to move in with him. Astarion had taken one look at those sad round eyes—Gale’s, not Tara’s—and hadn’t had the heart to take him up on it, even as he’d sneezed right in Gale’s face.

He still didn’t have the heart to send Tara away, even though he was certain she was actively trying to kill him.

Astarion blinked rapidly as the drops settled into his eyes, already feeling their antihistamine properties taking effect as he turned and leaned back against the edge of the double sink, leveling Gale with a look of fond exasperation.

“And my answer remains the same, my love,” he said. “I’m not going to ask you to get rid of your cat just because of a little thing like itchy eyes or a bit of a sniffle.”

It was quite a bit more than that, and they both knew it, but they already took measures to mitigate Astarion’s allergy—air purifiers in every room, a strict regimen for washing upholstery covers and bed sheets, and daily over-the-counter antihistamines—and, though he would never admit it out loud, a sneezing fit every now and then was more than worth it to see Gale cooing at Tara like she was a baby one minute and then explaining his lesson plans to her like she was one of his graduate students the next.

“Our cat,” Gale muttered almost petulantly, his nose buried in Tara’s brown and orange spotted fur.

“Our cat,” Astarion corrected with a nod. “Now, put her down so I can kiss you, darling,” he added.

Even after a year together, the smile that spread across Gale’s face was enough to make Astarion’s heart do a little flip. He watched Gale set Tara gently on the ground, the cat sauntering off toward the bedroom as Gale crossed the room, his hands automatically finding purchase on Astarion’s hips as he leaned in, pressing Astarion against the sink.

Gale’s lips captured Astarion’s. They were warm and chapped, and Gale hadn’t brushed his teeth yet. It was utterly, blissfully perfect.

Astarion leaned forward into Gale, wrapping his arms around Gale’s neck and breathing in the heady, sleep-warm scent of him. Unfortunately, this also earned him a nose full of cat dander, and he broke the kiss, barely turning his head in time to stifle his sneeze into Gale’s shoulder.

He let out a whine as Gale’s shoulder began to quake in silent laughter.

“Don’t laugh, you awful man,” he hissed, though the words lost a bit of their venom, muffled into Gale’s shirt. “You and that creature are conspiring against me.”

The quakes got a bit stronger.

“I’m sorry, love,” Gale chuckled after a moment, rubbing a hand soothingly over Astarion’s back as he pressed a kiss to his temple. “How can I earn your forgiveness? Perhaps by joining you in the shower?”

Astarion pulled back so he could see Gale’s face. His stupid, smug, devastatingly handsome face.

“That would be a good start,” he said, quite magnanimously, if he did say so himself, as Gale grinned and laced their fingers together, pulling him towards the shower.