Title: holding my breath til the moment
Fandom: The Double (mods: you can use the Cdrama tag)
Content notes: spoilers, re-write of a canon scene, discussions of murder and murderous intent, court politics
Length: ~700 words
Author's note: This started life as a drabble but just kept going.


Summary: There are only so many ways she has of testing the waters. (A revision of their first conversation at the palace.)



“Why did you want to kill Shen Yurong?”

Fangfei’s stomach churns in a mixture of fear, shame, and revulsion. All evening, she’d been careening from one near-disaster to another, barely scrambling through with her life and reputation intact. Running into Duke Su while lost in the palace gardens was bad enough, with her wits and composure long-since tattered like old gauze and her memories of the Shen family’s betrayal so fresh in her mind.

And now, to have her moment of weakness laid bare -- to have Duke Su confront her with the accusation that she’d wanted to kill Shen Yurong --

She did, she knows she did. She still does; but she never meant to give in to the impulse. If the Princess hadn’t startled her -- but no, she was the one who let the arrow drift to his heart. It was her choice. Even if only Duke Su saw it.

But Duke Su’s gaze holds no condemnation. If anything, he’s watching her with the impatience of a teacher with a lagging student. Fangfei’s mind leaps to the conclusion: Duke Su doesn’t care if Shen Yurong lives or dies. And if that is true, then --

“Why did you stop me?”

His eyes narrow at the blurted question. “As I told the Princess, the Emperor asked me to keep his guests safe tonight. If you wanted to murder Shen Yurong, you should have gotten the Emperor’s permission first.”

Fangfei feels her stomach drop again, but her mind is scrambling to keep up. If she's right and the Princess is her enemy, she will need someone with enough power to counter her. The Emperor is one of the few who could. But why would he?

Duke Su pauses, as if watching her thoughts chase themselves across her face. “Though I seem to recall that you had the chance to ask the Emperor for a favor tonight, and that wasn’t what you requested. I’ve forgotten -- what was it that you asked for?”

For the first time, Fangfei realizes what she should have recognized from the beginning of this conversation. Duke Su is furious. She’s never seen him angry before, not even when she lied to him so blatantly when they first met, and her mind stutters to a halt.

“Ah, yes,” he says, when she doesn’t answer. “The chance to study with Mr. Shen. Because you admire him so. If you hoped your study sessions would include murder, you should have been more specific.”

Fangfei tries to scrape her composure together. “You’re mistaken, Duke Su. I have no reason to want Mr. Shen dead. I barely know him.”

“I know.” He smiles mockingly, but she can still see the fury in his eyes. “That’s what makes it so interesting that you do.”

“Duke Su --” He watches her closely, that mocking smile still in place, as she struggles to put her thoughts in order. Duke Su is angry; he thinks she should know why. He thinks she’s made a serious error tonight. Has she stepped on one of his plans? Does the duke have plans for Shen Yurong?

“It’s ridiculous to think that I’d try to harm him,” she tries, testing the waters.

“No?” His smile broadens meanly. “One misplaced arrow is all it takes to satisfy your grudge?”

Fangfei’s racing thoughts suddenly clear. No, none of this was about Shen Yurong at all. What would have happened if that arrow had reached its target? It would have given the Princess good reason to have her beheaded -- and leverage at court. Something Duke Su wanted to avoid. If the Princess is Fangfei’s enemy, might she also be his? It would explain the animosity in the way he spoke to her at the banquet.

Fangfei decides to take the gamble. “You and I agree that the arrow was misplaced.”

He understands her implication, and his face blanks instantly. “A’Li. This game will kill you before you even learn the rules.”

“You're right. It may." The relief of it almost makes her giddy. Even if it isn’t the Princess, even if Duke Su thinks she’s talking about Li Jin, it’s clear: her enemies are not his friends. In the sea of danger surrounding her, she's found one safe place to stand. "But you won’t.”