Title: Guilt by association
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 980 words
Content notes: None
Author notes: Written for Challenge 461 - Line
Summary: The police have found an unusual use for Jack to help them catch criminals.


Ianto watched Jack from the corner of his eye, making sure he kept his main focus on the road. On a night like tonight when the roads were slick with rain and an accumulation of oil and dirt, things were treacherous, even for the SUV. ‘There's no point in being furious,’ he finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence between them.

‘Excuse me?’

Ianto didn't let the inflammatory words bait him. Being annoyed, disgruntled or even plainly surprised was one thing, but Jack was fuming mad – enough to make any Welshman proud. ‘Did you quote them your Torchwood access code when they brought you into the police station?’

‘Of course I did! ‘ Jack snapped. ‘They didn't even bother to check it out.’

‘Or maybe it's been compromised,’ Ianto suggested, playing devil’s advocate. ‘It's been known to happen once in a while.’ Of course, there were also times when the police knew damn well that the codes were legitimate and just chose to ignore them, making whoever was on the other end squirm for a while in reception, or worse, in custody. There wasn’t a police officer in Cardiff that wouldn’t salivate at the opportunity to bang up someone from Torchwood as retribution for all the crime scenes they’d commandeered, making the police look ineffective, or even stupid. Jack might as well have a target on his back.

‘It's a fucking outrage!” Jack kicked the underside of the dash in anger, unable to find anything else to exact his anger on.

The expletive caught Ianto off guard. Jack rarely ever swore. As the Welsh might have put it, he was “tamping mad”.

Ianto gripped the wheel, trying to squeeze it hard, letting his body relax so that he didn't get caught up in Jack's temper. One of them had to be the cool head around here and tonight that clearly wasn't going to be Jack. Of course, anyone might be mad at having been picked up off the street by police and forced to enter a line up of suspected criminals. There were certain times and places where even Jack's matinee idol looks and overt charm couldn't get him out of being lumped in with the rest of the hoi polloi. Was Jack capable of committing a crime? Of course. He'd done that and far worse in his life, just not any time recently.

‘You were wearing civilian clothes,’ Ianto explained, trying to put more rational thinking into things as they waited at a red light, Jack seething with arms folded and pointedly not looking at Ianto or the traffic in front of them, lest that also annoy him. ‘It's not exactly like you stood out as obviously not connected.’

‘I am not a criminal! I was there on duty! Undercover!’

Ianto pressed the accelerator gently, moving them forward through the quiet night-time streets with only a few other cars for company. ‘You know that and I know that. But the police do have a job to do and maybe on this occasion they thought that the person who was responsible didn't look too much unlike you.’ Much as Ianto was loathe to admit it, Jack was average height, average build, with brown hair and blue eyes. Until he opened his mouth, he might be mistaken for a local.

‘Nobody looks like me!’

‘Undoubtedly,’ Ianto replied calmly, hoping that Jack wouldn't bring up “Rear of the Year” again. He hadn't been out in a line up on account of his attractive buttocks. ‘But to be fair to the police,’ Ianto carried on, ‘you were in the vicinity at the time according to their investigative files. Do you know how hard it is to put together a police line-up at short notice? Half the people they use are volunteers.’

‘No one asked me if I wanted to volunteer,’ Jack sulked. “Who’d want to run the risk of being picked out as guilty?’

‘Obviously if someone were to point them out then the police would know they're innocent and dismiss it as a bad eye witness, but it can't be easy. And try to remember, no one did point you out as the culprit.’ Mostly, they were just relieved to have Ianto take Jack off their hands.

Jack turned and sneered at him. ‘What, so now I'm just a filler for someone who looks like a crook?’

Ianto rolled his eyes. The ride home had never felt so long. ‘I really wish you wouldn't take this so personally. They called me the moment you were arrested. I explained it all to them. They didn't even ask for us to post a bail amount. You were innocent before you were shoved in there, made to turn left and right. They couldn't pull you out beforehand or they'd have been a man short for an official line up.’

Jack sulked silently in his seat, unable to come up with any more furious remarks. It wasn’t exactly comforting that Jack had gone quiet. It was far less likely acceptance than it was redirecting his energies into various payback scenarios.

‘You know, I half expected you to see the funny side of it.’ Ianto was well versed in extracting Jack from sticky situations with the police and under far worse circumstances. There were also times when he was tempted to let Jack stew in a police cell for a day or two to think over his actions. ‘All's well that ends well, okay? You're not a criminal mastermind and no one is expecting you to front up to court tomorrow.’

‘I still say there are some bent coppers out there who have it out for me.’

‘Well, that I can't deny. Should I expect to see you in future police line ups?’

‘If you do it'll be because I've committed constabulary homicide.’

Ianto nodded. ‘Duly noted. I'll start working on alibis when we get home, just in case.’