Thorin was waiting for Dis and Bilbo when they arrived home. He greeted his sister with a brief kiss before saying, “I’ve boiled the kettle. You two go and sit down, and I’ll make the tea.”

A few minutes later he carried through the tea tray which included a plate of biscuits he’d gone out to buy especially to welcome them back from their trip to Normandy. They sat together and Thorin brought them up to date on the local events from the past week, until Dis said, “I think I’ll go and unpack.”

As soon as she’d gone, Thorin said, “How did it go?”“I think Dis found it very helpful,” Bilbo replied. “She cried, but it seemed more of a release seeing the boys’ graves. If you ask her, she’ll tell you about it, but she won’t force anything on you.”

“Thank you for going. I’m not sure I could have coped. I might talk to her, but what could I say? It’s not as if I could tell her anything about what happened.”

“I understand. If it helps at all, I think she’d appreciate anything you could say. She insisted we spend the crossing on deck as she tried to imagine what it must have been like for all of you.”

Thorin gave a cough. “Strangely enough being on deck is what I remember. Firstly, on the landing craft deck as we approached the beach, hearing all the gunfire and the shouts from the men in front of us. And then the ramp lowering into the sea, and us charging off. I can remember leading my men through the water and onto the beach and after that it becomes very fuzzy; more gunfire and yells and a sense that I had to keep going no matter what.” Thorin shrugged. “And that was it. I can’t tell Dis about that.”

Bilbo nodded, but remained silent, since Thorin looked as if he wanted to continue.

“And the next thing I remember I was on the deck of another boat and some orderly was leaning over me, telling me to relax as I was being treated and on my way back to England. I think I must have objected and tried to stand because then a medic came over and said I’d done my bit and now it was up to someone else to carry on. They must have given me some painkillers because I don’t recall the rest of the journey.”

Thorin gave a stifled sob. “So you see, I must have been present when Kili and Fili died, but I have no memory of it. Which means there’s nothing I can tell Dis.”

“You don’t need to give her the details, but maybe tell her that you all reached the beach, so she knows where the boys died. You do know she doesn’t hold you responsible for their deaths, don't you?"

"I should have taken better care of them.”

They both looked up as Dis re-entered the room. “You took good care of all your men,” she said. “If it hadn’t been my sons, it would have been someone else’s and at least I got my brother back. There were those who lost all their menfolk. I’m glad I went. And I may go back some day. If I do, will you come with me?”

Thorin gave a small smile. “Yes, I will, if you’d like me to.”