The hustle and bustle of the alien spaceport was like nothing Ianto had ever experienced, not even London on New Year’s Eve, just before the fireworks display got underway, when everyone crowded together on the banks of the Thames. He was so busy just looking around himself in a mixture of confusion and wonder that it took him several minutes to realise Jack was no longer beside him.

He tried not to panic; Jack couldn’t have gone far, there were too many people, in all shapes, sizes, and colours, pushing past to get to wherever they were going, and nobody was making much headway. As long as he stayed right where he was, he’d be fine, Jack would come back for him, and this time Ianto wouldn’t let his lover out of his sight, even if he had to tie them together so they didn’t become separated again.

Keeping as still as possible, resisting the attempts of scurrying passers-by to push him out of their way, Ianto scanned the crowds, searching for a familiar figure and hoping that the crowds would thin out as the new arrivals left the building, leaving only the people waiting to board flights to other planets. As he looked about, he suddenly found himself face-to-face with a slender, blue-skinned humanoid with large, amber eyes and straight black hair, who smiled at him in a manner he assumed was meant to be friendly, although it might just as easily have been preparing to bite him. The teeth were rather alarmingly pointed, like a shark’s.

“You are new arrival, yes?” the being asked in slightly sibilant Galactic Standard.

“Ah, yes, I am,” Ianto replied in the same language, albeit with a distinct Welsh accent.

The alien’s smile grew even wider. “Welcome to Demiranrah, jewel of the Orithrovilian Empire. Your first visit to our fair city, yes?”

“That is correct.”

“Excellent! Esteemed being, allow my humble self to present to you two complimentary tickets to the Ranrahrium, for yourself and your companion of choice. Valid for the entirety of your stay.” Two ovals of hard plastic were pressed into his palm. “I look forward to your first visit to our glorious establishment with great eagerness.”

Not knowing what else to do, Ianto accepted the tickets. “Thank you, that’s… very generous of you.”

“A mere trifle, to introduce travellers such as yourself to one of the greatest wonders of our fair city.” The alien bowed, and Ianto returned the gesture; good manners cost nothing, and apparently neither did the tickets. Before he could ask what, exactly, the Ranrahrium was, the being had already moved on, slipping gracefully through the crowds, presumably seeking out other new arrivals.

Ianto was still studying the tickets, which were holographic, rippling with colour and movement but not especially informative, when a hand grabbed him, making him jump.

“There you are!” Jack said, sounding relieved. “Sorry about that, I got sort of swept away by a clan of drunken Altomeerians. They wanted to buy me a drink, and I tried to decline their offer, but they were insistent. There were also ten of them and only one of me, plus they each have four arms, so the discussion was a bit one-sided, but I did manage to persuade them to buy me a bottle to go.” Jack held up a large bottle of fluorescent orange liquid, or maybe it was the bottle itself that was orange; it was hard to tell, what with Jack waving it around. “It’s called Chichir!”

“That’s nice,” Ianto said, bemused.

“Isn’t it? I love coming here, they people are always so friendly and generous, a real party crowd. We can share this tonight, after dinner. I think you’ll like it.”

“Oh, good.” Ianto held up his hand. “I got complimentary tickets to the Ranrahrium, whatever that is.”

Jack’s eyes lit up. “Oooh! I thought we’d have to buy tickets if we wanted to go. Someone obviously has excellent taste.”

Ianto frowned. “What d’you mean?”

“The Ranrahrium doesn’t hand out free tickets to just anyone, only those who’re considered attractive enough and who’ve never visited the planet before. It’s quite an honour.”

“What exactly IS the Ranrahrium?”

“Hard to describe. It’s sort of a combination of nightclub, restaurant, casino, concert venue, and dancehall, with games rooms, and roving, free-for-all orgies.”

“Orgies?” Ianto wasn’t entirely convinced he’d heard that right.

“Oh, don’t worry. You don’t have to participate if you don’t want to. As long as you keep your clothes on, you’ll be left alone. You might get offers, but nobody will force you into anything. That would be considered bad manners.”

“That’s… good to know.”

“If you do decide to take part in an orgy or two though…” Jack grinned. “You won’t be disappointed. Just saying.”

Ianto could feel himself blushing furiously. “I’ll think about it.” He looked at the tickets in his hand. “And these will get us in free?”

“Yep! May I?” Jack held out his hand.

“Oh, yes, of course.” He handed over the stiff plastic ovals and Jack took them, holding them up to the light.

“Wow! These are premium tickets!”

“Which means…?” Ianto raised an enquiring eyebrow.

“Free food and drink, free access to all areas… We’ll have to provide our own credits if we want to gamble, but aside from that, we’ll hardly have to pay for anything!” Jack beamed at his lover. “You really must have caught someone’s attention. Must be that pale Welsh skin and sexy chest hair, not to mention the accent.” He winked and looked at the tickets again. “Valid until you leave the planet.”

“Yes, the person who gave them to me did mention something like that.”

“I knew coming here was a good idea.” Jack leaned in and kissed Ianto soundly.

“Uh, Jack, hadn’t you better be careful with those tickets? We don’t want to lose them.”

“Nothing to worry about. We’ve both touched them, so they’re biometrically keyed to us, meaning no one else can use them. Our biometric signatures will be on file at the Ranrahrium now, so even if we misplace them, all we have to do is inform one of the staff and they’ll be replaced. We’re set for the holiday of a lifetime! Come on, let’s go find our hotel.”

The crowds were starting to thin out a bit, so Jack took Ianto’s hand and led him towards the spaceport’s main exit. Ianto held on tight, not wanting them to become separated again. ‘Orgies,’ he thought. ‘Of course.’

Who but Jack would drag him to a planet where orgies were as much a part of the entertainment as dancing or gambling? This looked like it was going to be a very interesting holiday.


The End