Title: Always
Fandom: Charmed
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Leo/Piper
Rating: PG/K+
Summary: Piper has a moment in the park while missing her husband.
Word Count: 1,979
Written For: Fan FlashWorks 436: Sunshine and Trope of the Month Pregnancy and Parenthood
Warnings: Light Spoilers
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.








Sometimes, she can still feel him. Sometimes it feels as though he's so close to her again that she can reach out and touch him. It reminds her of how she use to feel right before he would orb in, from God knew where most of the time, just beside her and wrap his strong arms around her. Leo didn't look like he was strong. Piper knew she was stronger than him and, in some ways, not just because of her Power of Three magic levels. He had been a doctor, after all, and she was accustomed to the heavy lifting of crates of drinks and other things that came from running the club, or working in a restaurant.

His preferred flannel shirts had also not hinted at any underlying rippling muscles, and in truth, she knew her ex-husband's muscles did not ripple. But it had still been his strength that had led her, reassured her, guided her so many times. He had guided her as much more than just her White Lighter, and Piper still believed that she, and her sisters too, had come through far more than they would have as just the Power of Three if Leo had only been their White Lighter. But his love for them, not only her, had led them through more than any set of Charmed Ones before them had endured. They had become legends, but the status had certainly not been worth the price.

She could understand now, she supposed, why the Powers That Be had been so adamant against a Witch and White Lighter union, but even though it had hurt her for so long, Piper still did not regret having fought them to be with the man she loved, who she would always love. And she would always love him. Even if she never saw him again, or at least never saw him again on friendly terms, she would never stop loving him.

She had tried with everything in her to stop loving him. She had tried with all of her might, harder than she had ever fought against any Demon, even having succumbed to spells to try to make herself not feel, or at least feel, and hurt, less. None of it had worked. Nothing, just like with Andy, Prue, and even Grams before him, had helped to lessen the pain except time. And there was still times, like now, when the ache he had left within her heart -- within the very fabric, it seemed, of her soul itself -- was so painful that Piper could barely breathe.

She was surrounded by people. Her children played just in front of her. She always kept a wary eye on her boys, not just because of the endless amounts of Demons and other evil beings that would want to hurt or control them because she was their mother but because of all the "normal" people, as well, who might want to kidnap them or worse. She could hear them laughing and giggling just a few feet away from her, but suddenly, she felt as though she was the only person in this world, or at least on this level of existence.

She half-expected Leo to show as she leaned back on the park bench, shutting her eyes against the pain. She could feel his presence so strongly, not unlike the times one of them had been laboring underneath a curse and unable to reach out to the other. Not unlike the time he had been made mortal and she had had to fight her way back to him. It reminded her, too, of the dream state she had been in when he had first broken the laws that held him bound as a White Lighter and healed her from that disease she'd caught from the illegal importation of those fruits that one time, so long ago when she'd first been trying to carve a name for P3 out of the surrounding market.

"Leo?" Her voice echoed around her. She could still hear the childrens' laughter and myriad of voices, but it was though a great distance now separated them. She heard a rushing of air between herself and them, but it was stronger than any wind that had ever predated Leo's arrival. There was also no bells or chimes as she'd heard sometimes right before he'd orbed in, just the chasm of wind, the far away voices, her own breathing -- near sobbing now, and a great void. In that moment, it was almost as though her loneliness, her grief from losing the only man she'd ever truly loved, was a physical, living thing, as though she could reach out and touch it.

It hurt so much that she realized she might be under attack, and forced her eyes open for her children's sake. Sunshine blinded her, and through its brilliant, hot rays, she thought she saw a man coming forward. Not just any man, she realized, from the shadowy outline of a thin but stout frame. The man she loved. Piper blinked rapidly, trying to force down the tears, trying to not give in and allow herself the luxury of belief that he could be coming, or would ever again, come back to her.

They had been given a chance. They had been given a plethora of chances, and each of them had come back to the other, and fought their way back to the other, through incredible odds. The Powers That Be had finally let them have their marriage, even have kids, but in the end, they had not been able to keep fighting. Leo had done what he had thought best to keep protection over her and their children. No matter how badly it hurt, no matter how furious his decision had made her at the time, there was still a part of her that could understand why he had chosen the promotion to Elder, even though it had also meant their divorce.

This wasn't the way it had been in that one future to which she had born witness. They weren't supposed to end still loving each other. But they had. They had, and it hurt so incredibly much. Yet here he was, reaching out a hand for her. Piper leaned up, reaching out for her husband's hand, forgetting, for the moment, that he was no longer her husband. He had always, and would always be, the other half of her very soul. It was no wonder she'd hurt so much for so long, the thought raced through her mind. After all, how did anyone heal from a shattered soul? There were no powers or spells in the world that could heal such.

"Momma? Momma?" It was a teeny, tiny voice she heard from so far away, but the daydream was as shattered as her soul. The image she'd so desperately longed to be Leo was sucked away, almost as though he was yanked back up into the sunshine from which he had been reaching, and Piper found herself looking down into the very concerned face of her baby boys. Wyatt was starting to look so much like his father. She could no longer prevent the sob from escaping her throat and realized, just after it broke, that hot tears were flooding down her face.

She hurriedly wiped them away, but her sons had already noticed. Both were looking up at her in great concern. Chris came closer, his tiny hands joining Wyatt's on her knees. "Momma, you okay?" he asked.

The look on Wyatt's face was far more intense, almost angry. "It's Daddy, isn't it?"

"No, no, your father's fine." She angrily dashed away the last of her tears. Her babies weren't supposed to see her crying. She'd not have them thinking like she had growing up, that their father did not want them. She'd not have them thinking anything but that Leo sacrificed everything for their safety and wellbeing, which he had -- even her.

God, it hurt so much! Her heart was pounding, and her chest throbbed. The world around Piper swirled, but she knew she had to keep herself together. This could easily be a spell cast upon her, meant to distract her and make her weak, vulnerable to an attack, or even to steal her children away while she was distracted mourning. Yet something told her this was not all it was. There was something more beyond whatever that moment was she had just experienced, to that -- that living daydream.

Again, she thought of the moments she'd felt Leo's presence both when he had not been able to be with her and just before he had orbed back to her. She knew the figure she had seen reaching out of the golden sunshine for her had been a figment of her imagination, caused by her grief and wishful but foolish thinking. Leo wasn't coming back. He couldn't this time. But... But maybe he was thinking of her?

Shivering in the warm, afternoon sunlight, Piper wrapped her arms around her children and rocked them, but her face looked imploringly and forlornly up to the sky. Her reddened, tear-filled eyes traced the passing of a single cloud over the sun, and she thought of him. She thought of the man who had inspired her, who had kept her on the path of right through everything she had endured, through everything they had endured. She thought of the man with whose love she had created the very children around whom she was now wrapped, of the man who had given her so many of the things of little girl's fantasies in which, as a grown woman, Piper had eventually stopped believing.

She thought of her husband, -- and he was still her husband, even if she no longer wore a ring, even if she never saw him again. She still loved him. She would always love him, and her heart would always belong to him. These boys, and she herself, would always be his, no matter what came. She turned her face upward again into the bright, hot sunshine and found herself thinking, I miss you too, Leo. I love you. Always.

He had not given up then. He had no choice now, or so he'd believed when he'd taken the job. He'd done it for them. He'd done it all for them, for her. Maybe he had no choice when it came to giving up. But he still loved her, she realized, blinking back a fresh spring of tears. He still loved her, and he would always love her, just as she would always love him! "I love you," she whispered aloud, feeling a bit of the weight that had chained her spirit for so long lifting.

"What, Momma?" Wyatt asked, his little, adorable face scrunching in confusion.

The boy was getting too smart for his own good perhaps, but Piper just tackled each of her children in bear hugs. "I love you two," she said. "Who wants ice cream?"

Of course, the sweet treat would distract them from the pain of not having a present father, and of seeing their mother so sad. But their father wasn't gone, not really. Her husband wasn't gone. He was right there, an unseen force guiding and protecting them, not just the ghost in her children's smiles but the warmth in those smiles, the warmth in the sun, the warmth she now felt lingering on the backs of her hands and her shoulders, on her cheeks. Leo was still there, even if she couldn't see him, and he loved her still and always, just as she would always love him. Taking the boys' hands, Piper led them toward the park's entrance, but her heart had been warmed and she knew, deep down, that wherever they went, her husband, her children's father, would be there too always.



The End