Daniel was gone, and Jack O’Neill honestly wouldn’t have expected it to hurt so much. Sure, losing any member of his team was bound to be painful, he knew that from past experience, but it was Daniel!

Jack hadn’t wanted to take the guy with him on that first trip through the Stargate. Dr Jackson was a scientist and a geek, always sneezing, and rambling on about things Jack couldn’t even pretend to be interested in. But then Daniel had saved his life, helped get his people back home, and Jack had owed him for that, so he’d spoken up for the guy, agreed that he should be allowed to join SG-1. They’d been occasions he’d regretted that decision, but not as many as he’d anticipated; Daniel had fitted in surprisingly well.

And now this.

It had happened so fast! They’d barely arrived on the planet, Carter and Daniel had just started doing whatever it was they did, collecting samples, poking around, and then… Before any of them knew what was happening, Daniel was engulfed in flames. They’d all seen him burn, been unable to get to him, unable to save him, the heat from the fire was so intense, and then he was simply… gone. He’d barely had time to shout for help.

It hurt, like Jack was being ripped apart inside. Daniel Jackson, the geek, the pain in the ass, the one member of his team who couldn’t seem to get it into his head that he was supposed to follow his commanding officer’s orders and not just go wandering off to investigate whatever caught his eye. Daniel was dead, and it shouldn’t have happened, and maybe it was just one loss too many after Charlie, and the divorce, and more recently Kawalsky, but it was just too damned much to bear!

When had Daniel started to seem less like a nuisance and more like a friend? The sneaky bastard must’ve gotten under Jack’s skin when he wasn’t looking, and the guilt over letting him die like that, so senselessly… There’d been nothing they could do, but had they even really tried? Jack couldn’t quite remember; it was all a bit fuzzy. Fraiser said that was to be expected following a traumatic event, but it felt like more than that.

Daniel should be with them now, they shouldn’t be poking around his apartment, trying to decide what to do with all his stuff, his journals, his goddamn tropical fish! They shouldn’t be planning his memorial service.

Maybe Jack should think about retiring, for real this time, because he’d lost far too many friends already, and losing Daniel felt like the final straw. The man could be stubborn as the proverbial mule, no question, but Jack had grown to like him, more than he’d realised, even to depend on him in some situations. That big brain of his was crammed with so much stuff that at times Daniel got lost inside his own head, but some of what he knew actually came in handy. On occasion.

Jack wanted him back, half the time found himself expecting Daniel to just walk in the door. Everything about this whole situation was so completely wrong. He’d seen Daniel die with his own eyes, watched him burn, and yet he couldn’t make himself believe that Daniel was dead. It was confusing as hell.

Something weird was going on, and they needed to figure out what before Jack completely lost his mind. If he hadn’t already.


The End