So, I guess things aren’t looking too good for me right now. Here I am, a prisoner in chains, with no way to escape. Except that there has to be a way, unless I just want to lie here and give up. Tempting, but no. Let’s look at the situation rationally.

To start with, I won’t be going anywhere unless I can free myself from the chains. It’s a matter of size, in that there’s a significant discrepancy; five-inch hand, three-inch manacle. Obviously that’s something of a quandary. I can’t unfasten the manacle; that would take too long, not to mention I’d need tools I don’t have to hand right now. Hand! Hah! That’s the root of the problem, isn’t it? My hand’s too big, so how do I make it smaller?

The widest point is where the thumb joins the hand, but even tucking my thumb in tight won’t reduce the size of my hand sufficiently to pass through the manacle. You know, when I think about it, the opposable thumb is really quite remarkable. It allows primates to handle objects, to hold, grip, and manipulate them in any number of ways…

Okay, focus, getting a little off track here. No matter how remarkable a thumb might be, right now mine is a nuisance. What if I just whack it off? Or better yet, I could cut my whole hand off.

I did that once, chopped a man’s hand clean off to save his life. He wasn’t especially grateful, as I recall, even though they were able to re-attach it, good as new. People take offence at the oddest things sometimes. What was I supposed to do, just let him die? So, I could cut my own hand off, temporary loss of hand balanced against immediate freedom from the manacles…

Two problems with that scenario: Firstly, I’ve already lost a fair amount of blood, getting stabbed will do that, and bleeding to death won’t help anyone, least of all me. Secondly, I don’t have an axe or anything else sharp enough to perform an amputation.

Strike that possibility then. What else is there? If I can’t remove my hand, or even my thumb, then we’re on to option two. The only reason the hand is too big is because of the way it’s constructed, a series of inflexible bones radiating out from the wrist, leading to the fingers. Break the hand bones and the structure collapses, and I just so happen to have a nice, solid hammer within reach…

Option two it is then. But why bother with the whole hand? I don’t need to go that far, it would be overkill, so we’re back to the thumb again. Poor old opposable thumb, in opposition to what I need. Your sacrifice is appreciated old friend. You may never be quite the same after this, but you’re my only hope.

One good blow should do it; all I have to do is not pass out. I can do that, right? Guess I’m about to find out. Should I close my eyes? But then how would I aim? No use putting it off any longer, so here goes. Wish me luck.


The End